How the Finnish survive without small talk (2018)

I work with Estonians, silence is their way. Even Swedish colleges will say something given a long enough pause. Not the Estonians. I tried longer and longer pauses after asking if there are any question. I found the point that, one out of four times, someone will say &#x27;No. There are no questions&#x27;. It feels like a really very long pause.<p>I&#x27;m Spanish, in my culture people will interrupt you mid sentence if they have something to say.<p>I just need to change expectations like I change languages. It&#x27;s not a problem but it requires to think about your audience culture. They are just different.<p>I like the article and how shares this idiosyncrasy. I wish it talked about it as something normal, instead of something &#x27;abnormal&#x27;. But it makes sense that it takes the British perspective.

As a Finn, working at an U.S. company, small talk is something I really struggled with and still don&#x27;t fully understand. The people I interact with it seems like we have found sort of a middle ground, where people obviously still ask &quot;How are you?&quot;, but people still feel comfortable to answer &quot;Not so well, XYZ happened&quot;. Maybe I&#x27;m naive but I feel like that helps prevent issues from getting too big and offers a safe space to share how you feel and get compassion from your peers.

&gt; If you’re a foreigner, congratulations – you’re probably the loudest person on their often (voluntarily) silent public transport.<p>I have this feeling that this is not a Finish thing, but a rest-of-the-world-apart-US, thing. In my ~40 years spent in Romania and now UK, I rarely saw people engaging strangers on public transport, let alone doing it loudly.

There is a joke that COVID mandated 2 meter gaps between people, which is way less than what we are used to.

I&#x27;m am American who works for a Finland-based employer which has given me a few opportunities to travel there. My experience suggests this is changing a bit generationally as I&#x27;ve generally found it pretty easy to have brief, friendly conversations with younger (say, under 35 or so) people at least in the Helsinki-Espoo areas.<p>The quiet public places and public transport do make my introverted heart gleeful, though. I also reckon that a group of German tourists can give Americans a run for their money in the boisterousness department. :)

No small talk is amazing. I went to a eastern european resteraunt. Waiters just said &quot;what do you want&quot; then after silently clearing our plates &quot;check is here&quot;.<p>Amazing prompt service and no talking. Gave 30% to him

The small US town I live in has many Finns and Norwegians who arrived here in the mid&#x2F;late 1800&#x27;s to work in the logging industry.<p>When I got here 30 years ago it was my first experience &quot;interacting&quot; with Finns and I always thought it was a problem with me (3rd gen Californian).<p>Thankfully, a long time local Norwegian friend told me a joke that cleared it all up.<p>Q: &quot;How can you tell when a Finn is an extrovert?&quot;<p>A: &quot;They stare at your shoes instead of their own.&quot;<p>I asked my 3rd gen Finnish acquaintances about that, and they heartily agreed.

There&#x27;s a difference between small talk and being polite.<p>As a Brazilian I was shocked at how polite people were abroad with pleases and thank yous. In Brazil I&#x27;m asked bluntly &quot;what is the time?&quot; by strangers on the street that just turn away after I answer. That is just rudeness, not directness.

<i>one of their national sayings is ‘Silence is gold, talking is silver’.</i><p>Taken from Arabic where it is evidenced since the 9th century <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Speech_is_silver,_silence_is_golden" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Speech_is_silver,_silence_is_g...</a>

As a Finn I think that when people are not sure what to say.. but they feel like they should say something, then small talk is great.<p>Maybe we Finns think too much and say something only when we’re sure what to say, so it might be very compact, well thought package of information. Something like: “Sure. Good Bye.”<p>We also seem to share some bad drunken behavior and dark humor with English lads.

This explains Linus, as all I’ve heard is that he’s very reserved. So much so it’s hard for people to understand where he stands on issues…<p>&#x2F;s for the newbies.

My pet theory is that Finns don&#x27;t talk much because when it&#x27;s freezing cold, opening your mouth to speak leaks warmth.<p>Stark contrast to summer park drinking. The noise of everybody talking is ear-splitting.