First, on the mail to the existing employee: get it, ha ha, recruiter so stupid. It's generally kind, though, to make room for the capacity for human error: it seems like a safe bet that the recruiter made a mistake and didn't think that would actually work. People make mistakes, even recruiters(!), especially when they send a fair amount of mail each day (which every one does, some smart and targeted, some dumb and spammy).<p>We're a boutique shop, we're super-careful, and we still make mistakes: one of my recruiters sent a mail about Client A to an employee of Client B. She screwed up - she saw an old resume that didn't have Client B's name, and didn't double-check on LinkedIn. The employee was pissed, Client B was pissed, I was pissed, my recruiter was embarrassed, but we all got over it, because we're adults.<p>Second, on finding an agency you like, I wrote a blog post on this a month back: <a href="http://roosterpark.com/blog/hiring-a-recruiter-how-to-choose-your-staffing-firm/" rel="nofollow">http://roosterpark.com/blog/hiring-a-recruiter-how-to-choose...</a>. dmk23 is right that you should be asking real questions: I've included some examples in the post. (I've never even submitted this to HN before. Wonder why.)