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Ask HN: How do you deal with mail anxiety?

3 点作者 throwawaynay超过 3 年前
I often wait hours before opening some important mails because I&#x27;m stressed about the content. And the more important mails I have to open during the day, the more I&#x27;m drained of my mental capacity to handle this stress.<p>I don&#x27;t know if this is a crazy idea, but I thought about using sentiment analysis AI to read my mails before me, and tell me how positive or negative each message is without opening them first, so I can choose when I want to read bad news. Or sort my mails by priority.<p>Do you think that might be useful? or do you have better low tech solutions to that problem?(besides CBT, weed or xanax)

2 条评论

ninesnines超过 3 年前
Hello!<p>I have the same problem -- especially if it is a very important email. Here are a couple of things that helped me:<p>1. The email already exists: often I am worried that someone will say something mean or unkind in an email, which is pretty much never the actual case, but I build it up in my mind. Reminding myself that the email already exists and the words already exists helps me get the courage the look at them.<p>2. Getting in the habit of just opening all the messages, and reminding yourself that these emails are usually either neutral or positive. Most people don&#x27;t send nasty emails, because setting a tone in an email is very hard to do. Usually if people have bad things to say, they will say it over zoom, etc.! Also that it doesn&#x27;t leave a great impression is e-mails are not answered long term!<p>3. Set a deadline: Not all emails have to be answered right away; for very important emails I give myself a hard deadline of 24 hours. However, as soon as I see a very scary email, I am now really trying to open it immediately; waiting makes the anxiety worse. I tell myself &#x27;you are brave&#x27;, &#x27;usually emails are good&#x27;, &#x27;you are a reliable person who always answers emails&#x27;and &#x27;don&#x27;t be a chicken shit&#x27; and these phrases help me get the nerve to open the emails. However, if the email is VERY scary I sometimes will wait to my 24 hour deadline. Making it a habit that you are the type of person to open emails really is what fixed me hiding from emails.<p>4. therapy! got myself a kind therapist<p>you&#x27;re definitely not the only one with this problem! good luck!
giantg2超过 3 年前
Separate the tasks of reading and acting. Just open all the mail and read it. Don&#x27;t act on one until the others are read. Essentially turn the act of reading the mail into a separate task from whatever the actual contents are. This decoupling might help you. Then prioritize and act.<p>Talking to a therapist could help too.