Abstract:<p>> Having conversations with new people is an important and rewarding part of social life. Yet conversations can also be intimidating and anxiety provoking, and this makes people wonder and worry about what their conversation partners really think of them. Are people accurate in their estimates? We found that following interactions, people systematically underestimated how much their conversation partners liked them and enjoyed their company, an illusion we call the liking gap. We observed the liking gap as strangers got acquainted in the laboratory, as first-year college students got to know their dorm mates, and as formerly unacquainted members of the general public got to know each other during a personal development workshop. The liking gap persisted in conversations of varying lengths and even lasted for several months, as college dorm mates developed new relationships. Our studies suggest that after people have conversations, they are liked more than they know.<p>Quick summary of sub-studies:<p>> We call this mistaken belief the liking gap, and we explored it across five studies. In Study 1a, we tested the hypothesis that after a short conversation, people will underestimate how much others like them. Studies 1b and 2 provided evidence that the liking gap exists not because people fail to signal that they like each other—in fact, the signals are right there for people to see—but, rather, people are too focused on their own self-critical thoughts to notice. Studies 3 and 4 showed that the liking gap exists after short, medium, and long conversations, as well as among the general public in a United Kingdom (UK) sample. Finally, in Study 5, we tracked college dorm mates over the course of an academic year, finding that they too showed sustained evidence of the liking gap. Together, these studies suggest that after people have conversations, they chronically underestimate how much their conversation partners like them and enjoy their company.