For me, the topic is too multi-dimensional to boil down to a few paragraphs about having a kind inner voice and recognizing defense/survival mechanisms. The latter actually being more about hating others than myself in my experience.<p>I will add this to the thought stream on the topic however. Being ok with rejection, well more than that, accepting that rejection is a mechanism that guides me out of situations that aren’t right for me, or away from people who do not accept me for who I am is key to loving myself. The other path, to fear or avoid rejection is to prioritize destroying myself in the name of pleasing others, which is the opposite of self love.<p>Loving others involves accepting their variances from/conflicts with my important choices and being ok with that. Conversely, loving myself involves being ok with my important choices especially in the face of someone else rejecting me for said choices. IOW, accept me the way I am and the way I choose to grow, or kindly show yourself the door out of my life.<p>Again, this is an incomplete treatise on what self love is. I do however believe loving oneself is most important when it comes to dealing with others.