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Piss-Weak Parenting

29 点作者 goindeep超过 2 年前

16 条评论

afavour超过 2 年前
Why on earth is this on HN, I wonder? I feel like the author needs to be told “yes, you’re a much better parent than all the other parents you know” so that they can relax a bit and stop gunning for attention on the internet. If only this was in the form of a TikTok video, then the irony would truly have eaten itself.<p>EDIT: this post wants me to sign up for a newsletter named “CryptoFireside”? Is it a weird content strategy to improve SEO for a crypto shill or something?
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cauliflower99超过 2 年前
Great article. My wife and I are 29 year old parents (young by today&#x27;s standards). She is part of some mother + baby groups and the stories she comes back with...my goodness. So many mothers and parents complain of problems that are OBVIOUSLY their own doing.<p>Other mother: Oh I&#x27;m tired we were up all night with our two year old who kept standing up in their cot.<p>Her: Yeah ours used to do that but we just let them cry until they settled down again.<p>Them: I&#x27;ve read that causes long term anxiety so we bring them into our own bed or just give them our phone for an hour.<p>Me: The Bible is right - people do choose to live in hell.<p>The article hits it on the head - your kids are NOT your friends.
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lettergram超过 2 年前
I have quite a few thoughts, but this really struck me:<p>&gt; It’s not my kid. So I just did the right thing, I nodded in showing my understanding and I made sure I didn’t open my stupid mouth and say something dumb.<p>I’m not known to be quite on topics, ever. But when someone presents an opening like “hey I’m struggling with this, I think this is the problem”<p>I wouldn’t keep my mouth shut. I’d ask follow up questions. “Has this only started happening since X was introduced”. I’d also offer what &#x2F; if anything I’ve seen — “yeah, we try to avoid X, saw something similar in our kid”.<p>You don’t have to tell them what to do and shouldn’t, but as part of a community, share experience.<p>Regarding the general premise — kids, phones and social media I’ve written on the subject:<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;austingwalters.com&#x2F;talk-to-yourself&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;austingwalters.com&#x2F;talk-to-yourself&#x2F;</a><p>I think constant tech kills internal dialog, even with adults. But in children it probably breaks some cognitive development.<p>Put simply, your internal dialog probably helps reprogram you. Anyone, who’s read Gödel Escher Bach should be familiar with the idea, though the details are vague. I find that children who grew up with moderate to heavy social media use end up being far less thoughtful than those who read or play more often.
xtiansimon超过 2 年前
I hate writing like this—common sense old-timey advice mixed with dangerous replicators.<p>What’s the dangerous replicator? “Piss-weak” what the heck does that mean? Who knows, but it’s placed in an article about parenting and pre-adolescent children. So is the author trying to suggest the child or parent have bad toilet behaviors? Or is that question so obvious and uncomfortable idea, that it can’t be anything but fluff—-just substitute any other explicative (or ‘pizza’).<p>Why is it dangerous? Because if you’re having the problem the author suggests, you might think this sassy writer is trying to give you some “secret to parenting”—be piss strong. “Weak” immediately suggests “strong”. That’s not ‘good’ advice, but a mind frag.<p>I also commented recently on HN that words matter, and in support of comments on HN which take writers to task for the words they choose.<p>This is the tip of the alt-crazy world disguised as alt-lazy or alt-cool. It’s insidious use of language. 24h cable News-Infotainment, Fox News. Etc. all with common sense, off the cuff comments on world events and manufactured outrage.<p>This isn’t advice. This is undermining and something else.
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m0llusk超过 2 年前
This does seem to happen. The opposite may also be a problem. I know several families with concerned and involved parents who are constantly diving in and helping out with things, coming up with new activities, and planning schedules. Their kids have some input, but are never really left on their own to choose what to do or to finish what they decided on.<p>Now their children are getting older and have serious problems with executive function. Their attentions constantly wander. They don&#x27;t know what to do and they never finish anything on their own. This is sometimes diagnosed as ADHD and results in medications, but based on my observations it is primarily a state acquired through conditioning. Helpful parents can be helpful, but too much of that leads to helpless children who eventually run in to problems trying to function without the helpful parents present.
bobsmooth超过 2 年前
Kids need discipline. This was true 10000 years ago and it&#x27;s true today.
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dgreensp超过 2 年前
As a parent, I find the first part relatable.<p>Monster trucks are for boys or girls or whoever wants them IMO.
Fire-Dragon-DoL超过 2 年前
I kinda agreed with the article until the part about the monster truck. That felt sexist to me.<p>My daughter received transformers and trucks too.<p>And yes we gave a doll to our 1 year old son (but the train got all the focus).<p>To be clear, I agree with doing something about it, I disagree on bounding toys to gender
rektide超过 2 年前
Piss weak posting.<p>&gt; <i>Why would the kid want to be canoeing with boring people when there was a whole world of smart, interesting, beautiful people in 30-second, filtered, buzzing, sing-song videos that snap-crackle-and-pop and make all your senses light up?!</i> ...<p>&gt; <i>TikTok? No way!</i><p>&gt; <i>These apps themselves are weaponized to the point adults have trouble putting them down. They hire marketing geniuses and psychologists to design the games and user experience in such a way that it becomes physically addictive. We know this already!</i><p>Author thinks they are way smart &amp; has all the answers &amp; has already fore-decided the villian and all problems are definitely the pre-determined villian and the so smart author obviously knows better.<p>Gross article from gross person. Thankfully now flagged.<p>There may be some real material here perhaps but the constant cock-sure sermonizing attitude &amp; willingness to lay blame at probably fairly side-show factors as the source of all problems... it&#x27;s embarassingly awful.
dougmwne超过 2 年前
“A person I know” will get surgery videos on a fresh TikTok account within 20 minutes. “Another person I know” gets Ukraine battle footage. The algorithm is incredible and terrifying. I would never let any child use it without sitting next to them.
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zug_zug超过 2 年前
Seems like wishful thinking.<p>Might tiktok be why that one particular kid is depressed? Maybe, nice anecdote bro. But on the otherhand, maybe keeping your kids away from cellphones is going to make them complete outsiders in highschool. We just don&#x27;t know.<p>Re the thing at the end -- It sounds like the author is hypothesizing that trans is caused (only caused?) by permissive parenting. Again, wishful thinking. Truth is we really don&#x27;t have a darn clue, and if people care so much they should set aside their assumptions and support research.
timemachine超过 2 年前
<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect</a>
illuminerdy超过 2 年前
Too many parents have basically abdicated their responsibility towards their children these days. I don&#x27;t know when it started, but it has really made out society so much worse.<p>They are afraid to exercise actual control over their children. They are afraid to pass on their values for fear of &#x27;suppressing&#x27; their child&#x27;s individuality. They turn their children over to government schools without even a moment&#x27;s concern to see what is being taught (more like indoctrinated) to their children. And then, even when they recognize that something is wrong, so many of them are more concerned with how they will look to the outside world if they react the way any rational person would react.<p>They&#x27;re doing so much harm to their children by shirking their duty to protect and guide their children.
BLKNSLVR超过 2 年前
Whilst I agree wholeheartedly with the article, I&#x27;m going to try and see it as analagous to bad leadership &#x2F; bad management.<p>Electronic device = Task with no context. Just go and do it and leave me alone.<p>Long enough of no context in one&#x27;s work and it leads to anxiety and existential-type questions around their purpose and role in the company or the value of the company itself.<p>Engagement is what adds value; understanding what motivates each individual to do &#x2F; be better and work on that. It requires paying attention. It&#x27;s hard work, it doesn&#x27;t scale, it&#x27;s per-individual, but, hey, they&#x27;re humans, not robots.<p>Management or Parenting, it&#x27;s your responsibility to make them better (than you are).<p>Edited to add: I&#x27;m finding the presence of defensive reactions to this post very interesting and somewhat depressingly informative.<p>Edited further to add: The post has now been flagged. Increasingly interesting and informative.
clnq超过 2 年前
Wow, the attention-seeking in this blog post is really something. &quot;Piss-weak parenting&quot;, &quot;-ism&quot; and &quot;-ist&quot; bait. And the point is presented with no nuance, just &quot;TikTok bad, other parent bad, I am good.&quot; I suppose a certain degree of edginess is needed to stand out from the many discount-bin opinion pieces like this online.<p>There&#x27;s hardly any substance to it if you take away one guy&#x27;s strong opinion and snark. He has a point, but argues for it with one anecdote. This article could have been written so much better if it just focused on the importance of telling your children &quot;no&quot; and why that helps in general. Now it reads like Jordan Peterson&#x27;s advice on parenting - very situational, clever, but also very opinionated and superficial.<p>Other articles on the blog are, of course, about crypto and hustle culture. Par for the (edgy internet personalty) course, I suppose.
superchroma超过 2 年前
The article was fine until the swipe at trans people (nurture not nature) at the end. That was unnecessary and literally reads as &quot;don&#x27;t let your kid do gay shit and they won&#x27;t turn out gay&quot;. The author would probably say they were just doing good parenting, but spotlighting it whilst also chuckling and remarking about how spicy your -isms are and how people are going to call you offensive kind of gives the game away.<p>Anyway, I agree with the premise, a lot of parents have no control over their children and are letting them be raised by the internet. This is probably the second generation of kids this is happening to.
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