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Researchers find that a simple “talking to strangers” intervention is effective

142 点作者 sinashahandeh超过 2 年前

32 条评论

cpach超过 2 年前
I’m quite the chatterbox and I love talking to strangers. Even if I will never see them again. I do it quite often. I feel it really adds more fun and meaning as I navigate through my little town, or the big city, doing everyday things that could otherwise be quite boring. So at least to me this article rings true.
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geocrasher超过 2 年前
&quot;Don&#x27;t talk to strangers!&quot;<p>Having been told this over and over again as a child there is a taboo that was set up about it. It&#x27;s not right obviously. As a small child of course it is can be dangerous to talk to strangers but it is the worst kind of fear-mongering.<p>That&#x27;s not to say that kids don&#x27;t need to be protected and that there isn&#x27;t caution to be had for small children. But the blanket statement &quot;Don&#x27;t talk to strangers!&quot; tends to stick with people just like riding the bike on the wrong side of the road so you can see cars coming, because that&#x27;s what they were told to do as children. In practice though even that is quite dangerous.<p>Clearly these both have benefits in their context but unfortunately there is no expiration date given for them.
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jasim超过 2 年前
&gt; The researchers utilized 286 participants recruited from two universities: one in the United States and one in the United Kingdom.<p>The discussion here is interesting, but the research itself falls to the typical psychology research trap of using university students.
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vouaobrasil超过 2 年前
Since developing my hobby -- photography, I always talk to strangers. Or more accurately, they always talk to me. People are always interested in what I am photographing. My advice is take up a hobby you can do outside. Not only does it give you something to talk about, but it also makes you seem like a fun person to talk to (a person with hobbies is likely to be more healthy and normal than one without). Plus if you are doing something it likely means you are in a good mood and aren&#x27;t likely to be someone to take up another person&#x27;s time too much. It restricts the space of likely outcomes of a chance encounter to be mostly good outcomes.
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kentlyons超过 2 年前
It wasn&#x27;t entirely clear from this article, but the intervention itself is the scavenger hunt and associated instructions. From the supplementary material: &quot;Participants in the treatment condition were asked to talk to the person for at least a couple minutes, whereas participants in the control condition were simply asked to observe the person for at least a couple minutes&quot;. And from the related work this is based on previous research: &quot;This suggests a promising intervention strategy: give people concentrated and repeated practice talking to strangers, so that they may realize their fears are exaggerated.&quot;
sinashahandeh超过 2 年前
Researchers game money to people and an app so that they pick up a stranger and talk to them. They reported positive psychological outcome out of the exercise.
amelius超过 2 年前
Is there something governments can do to make their citizens talk to strangers more often?<p>Society seems to be going in the opposite direction (e.g. self-checkouts at supermarkets, government services being available over the internet, online shops, online gaming, etc.)
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null_object超过 2 年前
One overlooked factor in this article, is that some cultures consider people strange if they <i>don’t</i> make smalltalk between strangers, while others may consider you borderline insane if you <i>do.</i><p>I moved from a country where these interactions are normal, to one where they never happen, and I still find it vaguely depressing.<p>Otoh people who’ve moved here and never noticed the discomfort of those around them when they chatter to strangers are happily oblivious to the cultural nuances.<p>I’d gladly be more like them.
technological超过 2 年前
This is what I liked about commuting in public bus during my undergrad in india. I could easily start conversations with strangers and learn so many things
JoeAltmaier超过 2 年前
The study was important, but limited in the usual way? Some 20-something college students, many paid to perform the study?<p>In my mind it underscores the need to introduce folks at a younger age to social situations. It&#x27;s a problem that college students still can&#x27;t talk to strangers.<p>How about a High School program of &#x27;meet a random classmate&#x27; or some such? It&#x27;s all about exposure and becoming resilient.
bilsbie超过 2 年前
Does anyone know what I could say to strangers? That part trips me up.
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dheera超过 2 年前
&gt; many people fear social interactions with strangers due to worries about rejection<p>Actually, no, I don&#x27;t initiate interactions with strangers because I&#x27;m male and a good chunk of the population would think I&#x27;m a creep if I try to interact with them.
cardanome超过 2 年前
I find it odd that nearly no one mentioned the issue that some people don&#x27;t want to be talked to. Especially women tend to suffer from unwanted attention but it also applies to the general case.<p>Just as you don&#x27;t have want advertisers to spam your email address or call you without your consent you might not want randos to try to talk to you.<p>Please don&#x27;t reply with stochastic methods like trying to read the other person body language and other circumstances and making predictions about whether they would like to be talked to or not. These methods have a failure rate and if you are talking to a lot of strangers it means you will step on lot of toes even if you can keep the failure rate relatively low.<p>Having a baseline dread about talking to strangers is just being a well-adjusted adult.<p>Now there are social contexts like networking events where talking to stranger is encouraged and a good skill to have but I don&#x27;t think people that are not good at this are necessarily defect.<p>I feel like the general societal trend is more in the direction of talking to stranger becoming less socially acceptable, not to mention to mention that is already very unacceptable in many countries and would be seen at outright weird.
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varispeed超过 2 年前
Not sure if this is anything ground breaking. I used to have a fear of talking to strangers, but as life would have it I had not choice but to get a customer facing job, which meant approaching strangers and talking to them. It was terrifying, but after a couple of days I wouldn&#x27;t even think about it. It became nothing. Then after I left that job after a couple of months the same fear has come back and it was difficult again.
zug_zug超过 2 年前
Would love a website for this, timeboxed 3-5 minute chats, like chatroulette but ... just normalish people.
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civopsec超过 2 年前
People got better at something they practiced?<p>&gt; Though many people have this pervasive fear, research has shown that most strangers are perfectly happy to be spoken to, leaving this common fear unfounded.<p>They could be happy because it’s a nice change of pace. But what would happen if 20% of people started interacting more with other people? Would that be liked, or would people be annoyed with that?<p>&gt; Social interaction is very important and has many well-documented benefits, such as increased happiness, better health, and stronger sense of belonging.<p>This has become yet another thing for me to worry about: how many “cigarettes worth” am I smoking by not socializing enough? Thanks, media.<p>I am almost never lonely alone. (Being along isn’t terribly fun but it doesn’t feel <i>bad</i>, either.) Only together with other people. Because I see what they have and what I don’t. Then I blame myself for my jealousy—it is mine, after all. But jealousy is a social thing too, is it not? And that’s kind of the kicker. Feeling out of place, unworthy, being bothered by the well-adjustedness of others <i>is also</i> part of the social game. So yeah, <i>they</i> get to have better blood pressure, better longevity, and so on—good for them. But I wonder: was their joy and happiness a social co-creation, while my less-than-happy disposition (again, in the proximity of other people) was self-inflicted? Because it wasn’t like I just looked at the bare facts (as presented to me) of other people’s lives and then felt bad—I was also informed, in no uncertain terms, of what was acceptable, good, wholesome, and what was deservedly labeled as miserable and degenerate.<p>And yet they will be happy together while my misery is almost only mine—(1) it was self-inflicted, (2) there is no one else to blame but “society”, which is too vague, and (3) being upset at others would just lower my status further.<p>And I also will be quiet about this to others. Because no one wants to hear about it. But I will know. And they will know. And I will say “it was fine”. And they will judge me or don’t care. And I will think that they judge me.
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jx593超过 2 年前
Most of the stranger&#x27;s conversations I ever overheard in the US were about rather common topics, like sports, pop culture, children &amp; schools, etc. What if someone doesn&#x27;t know much or care about such things, but still wants the &quot;well-documented benefits, such as increased happiness, better health, and stronger sense of belonging&quot;?<p>I&#x27;m new to the US and come from a different culture where the common topics have little in common with what you&#x27;d talk to strangers in the US. I&#x27;d love to talk about less common topics, like science, tech, AI, philosophy — basically what is being discussed here in HN, but in the real life. Is there a hope for me to become less lonely?
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bitwize超过 2 年前
My wife came here to the northern US from the south, and the relative unwillingness of strangers to speak here rubs her all sorts of wrong ways. She&#x27;s cut off from her old friends, and cut off from making new friends, and socializing with friends is as essential to her existence as corn grits (also in short supply here).<p>There is one exception: Older women seem to enjoy having someone to talk to, so she&#x27;s befriended a few in the neighborhood. Nevertheless we are considering a move.
meken超过 2 年前
&gt; These results continued for at least a week following the end of the study<p>Speaking from personal experience, I’ve felt similar bumps in moods from bouts of intentionally talking with strangers. They are always short lived though and I always regress back to withdrawing<p>But the feeling I get when I am comfortable talking to strangers is unreal. It’s a completely different world when everyone around you is a potential friend, as opposed to someone just in the way that you have to navigate around
einpoklum超过 2 年前
Notwithstanding the valid criticism of this being a typical &quot;we solicited a bunch of university students to XYZ&quot; study...<p>&gt; People’s beliefs changed slowly throughout the course of the study<p>this is interesting: It&#x27;s not just people&#x27;s behavior patterns that change quickly, it&#x27;s even their _beliefs_ - and even when they know they were being manipulated. An example of the extent to which &quot;social being determines consciousness&quot;.
eshack94超过 2 年前
To get better at something, force yourself to do it more often. Exposure therapy, there&#x27;s nothing new or novel here. But it is effective.
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helf超过 2 年前
Some days I’m super chatty and will talk to whoever in person or online. But I really don’t get the obsession society has at large with small talk and socializing. I’ll happily go weeks with no human contact.<p>People losing their shit over the pandemic lockdowns was cracking me up. “Omg can’t socialize how I want for a few months!!”
mtnygard超过 2 年前
&quot;At its heart, our intervention is simple: it involves repeatedly approaching and talking to strangers.&quot;<p>So... the &quot;intervention&quot; to help people gain confidence talking to strangers was to have them talk to a bunch of strangers. What an odd thing to make an article about.
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pella超过 2 年前
Related:<p>- <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Rejection_Therapy" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;en.wikipedia.org&#x2F;wiki&#x2F;Rejection_Therapy</a><p>- <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.rejectiontherapy.com&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.rejectiontherapy.com&#x2F;</a>
RyanShook超过 2 年前
I’m reading this book to help overcome my fear of talking to strangers.<p>How to Talk to Anyone <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;amzn.to&#x2F;3YKFc21" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;amzn.to&#x2F;3YKFc21</a>
causality0超过 2 年前
<i>research has shown that most strangers are perfectly happy to be spoken to</i><p>This feels a lot like hand-waving. Was this research rigorous? Did it differentiate between the attractiveness of the person initiating conversation and the context in which it was initiated?<p>When I&#x27;m out I&#x27;m typically trying to accomplish a task and have no desire for random strangers to talk to me. I would also never presume a stranger wants it either, unless we&#x27;re having a shared experience.
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skybrian超过 2 年前
…is effective for some college students in the US and UK.<p>It would be interesting to see if it varies depending on age or in other countries.
guerrilla超过 2 年前
This isn&#x27;t really news; it&#x27;s just exposure therapy, which is pretty well known. Habituation is everything in these domains. I do like the scavenger hunt though. That&#x27;s a good icebreaker. The list is at the very end of the study by the way[1]. These seem pretty difficult for someone with social anxiety or poor smalltalking skills though.<p><pre><code> Al Fresco Find someone outdoors, and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. All Smiles Find someone who seems friendly and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Artsy Find someone who looks artistic and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Blue Mood Find someone who looks sad and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Bossy Pants Find someone who looks like a leader and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Caffeination Station Find a barista&#x2F;server and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Coffee Break Find someone who&#x27;s drinking a coffee and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Do Gooder Find someone who seems like a nice or kind person and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Fashionista Find someone who&#x27;s accessorizing (e.g., wearing a scarf, hat…) and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Fun Fabric Find someone wearing stand-out print (e.g., stripes, animal-print) and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Graphic Tee Find someone who is wearing an interesting shirt and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Hot Find someone whom you find attractive and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Hungry Find someone who&#x27;s eating and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Inked Up Find someone who has a tattoo and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Inside Find someone indoors and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Jock Find someone sporty and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Kickin’ It Find someone who is wearing interesting shoes and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Line Up Find someone who&#x27;s waiting in a queue&#x2F;line and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Manscape Find someone who has a beard&#x2F;goatee&#x2F;etc. and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Minion Find someone who is wearing a uniform and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Nailed It Find someone who has funky nails (e.g., unusual shade, fancy design) and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Next Gen Find someone who&#x27;s from a different generation than you and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. On Top Find someone who is wearing a hat and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Ray of Sunshine Find someone who looks happy and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Sexy Find someone whose gender differs from yours and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Skin Deep Find someone whose skin tone is different from yours and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Twins Find someone wearing the same thing as you (hair style, shirt, shoes, etc.) and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Unicorn Find someone who has eye-catching hair (e.g., pink tips), dyed hair, or a cool hair style and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. Wild Card x 2 Find anyone of your choosing and [talk to&#x2F;observe] them for a few minutes. </code></pre> 1. <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.sciencedirect.com&#x2F;science&#x2F;article&#x2F;pii&#x2F;S0022103122000750" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.sciencedirect.com&#x2F;science&#x2F;article&#x2F;pii&#x2F;S002210312...</a>
z3r0k00l超过 2 年前
why is america getting this strange obsession with forcing people to do shit they dont want to?
nsxwolf超过 2 年前
Whenever a stranger talks to me, I think they’re about to accuse me of something.
o--o超过 2 年前
Mama Said Don&#x27;t Talk To Strangers . . .
curiousgal超过 2 年前
Ah yes, the buzzfeed of science journalism.