Generated by GPT3.5 API<p>"Facebook: Where your privacy is just a suggestion."<p>"Twitter: Come for the memes, stay for the existential dread."<p>"LinkedIn: Where humblebragging is an art form."<p>"Microsoft: Testing your patience since the '90s."<p>"Apple: Making you feel superior one expensive product at a time."<p>"Nike: Because running away from your problems never looked so good."<p>"OpenAI: Making you question your intelligence one chatbot conversation at a time."<p>"IKEA: Where the furniture is cheap, but the assembly is priceless."<p>"Instagram: Making narcissism look cool since 2010."<p>"Google: We know what you did last summer...and every summer before that."<p>"Coca Cola: Making dentists rich since 1886."<p>"McDonald's: Where the meat may be questionable, but the fries never disappoint."