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Ask HN: Dealing with that *challenging* work personality

4 点作者 throwarayes大约 2 年前
How do you deal with that person at work that:<p>1. Takes feedback as a personal attack. Gives feedback as a personal attack. Up to and including getting colleagues fired who have had disagreements with them.<p>2. Process is for thee, not for me. They complain when others don&#x27;t follow the rules. But they act completely independently of process and complains it holds them back.<p>3. They never take responsibility &#x2F; never contrite or apologize. This. means when they cross the line, it&#x27;s just the new unspoken standard of behavior. Not something they take time to repair and apologize for.<p>4. They see software development as a zero-sum game. If you are succeeding, it means its taking away success from me.<p>And no, I&#x27;m not talking about someone who&#x27;s incompetent. Or someone who&#x27;s a bit gruff.<p>Now the obvious answer is &#x27;leave&#x27; BUT its been my observation that most jobs have had at least one person that fits this profile. And you may not know when you interview.<p>How have you dealt this person in the past?

4 条评论

debarshri大约 2 年前
This guy should be fired. I hope it is not just you who feels this way in the team. There is always an underlying problem like compensation, ego, insecurity issues. I had a team member like this when I worked in amsterdam. If the management does not solve this, it is better to find a new job where thing are better. It often says a lot of the organisation if they do not manage this properly.<p>I felt more at peace when I left that job.
doublebind大约 2 年前
I&#x27;ve been there before. It&#x27;s frustrating; I&#x27;m sorry for you.<p>Here is the thing, you&#x27;re not going to &quot;fix&quot; that co-worker&#x27;s behavior, and trying to do so or deal with it can consume you or stress you in ways you can&#x27;t anticipate.<p>Check your options to move to some other project within your company. If your team lead can&#x27;t handle the situation (or is unwilling to), the workplace is not worth your time. Move on because, as I said, fixing the issue is outside your hands.<p>Not every company has these idiots, or they&#x27;re in other teams, and you can safely ignore them.
qthrowayq0909大约 2 年前
Tried to raise to management and&#x2F;or team lead. It&#x27;s really their job to handle a$$holes (not to mention to not hire them in the first place).<p>But, most of the times they either didn&#x27;t care or were spineless so next up is moving away either to a different role or team or department or a company. Every place has a$$holes but some places have a culture in place that does not allow them to go unchecked.<p>PS: Is him ex-FAANG? Usually it were such people for me.
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sharemywin大约 2 年前
If management doesn&#x27;t see it as a problem then you have a management problem.
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