> How to get myself better at conversing?<p>I am going to give some conventional, but unconventional advice.<p>I am being totally serious about this: If you are fat lose weight and if you are skinny gain muscle, get some clothes that look nice (that means that they aren't baggy or shoddy). Make sure your hair looks like someone cared about it.<p>That might sound like dating advice, but I am serious about it being advice about being better at conversations. People are as interested in talking to you as they are interested in what you have to offer. People who look good have something to offer before you even open your mouth and so people will be more interested in talking to you. Looking good is a form of self respect and people prefer people who respect themselves.<p>If you don't believe me, do it empirically, I promise you it matters a lot. If you are an absolute cave troll, you can go from being invisible to being a real human.<p>After that: do stuff. Don't say no to invites. It doesn't matter what you do too much as long as it's not staring into the HN/reddit abyss or jiggling your dopamine switch with computer games (or the bad drugs).<p>Lastly as far as mindset goes remember: "I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had at the time." That is self forgiveness in a nutshell. If you hate on yourself or start feeling sorry for yourself, remember that.<p>Also remember that "if I am comfortable that means I am not growing." You will not get better at conversing with people without being uncomfortable, so do things that make you uncomfortable. When you take a risk and it doesn't pay off, remember you're paying the price for when it eventually does pay off.<p>If you want a tactic, work at remembering people's name, and for every person who's name you know, ask them how their day was as soon as you see them and don't accept a 3 word response. As this interaction is repeated, you start to understand who a person is and you can ask them about the current events in their life and more importantly the drama.