Experiences won’t make you happier than possessions

Neither is going to make people happy.<p>People are happy if they are healthy, well fed, see the people they care about are happy, don&#x27;t live in anxiety all the time, and feel what they do day for day has some kind of meaning.<p>How that is achieved is secondary.<p>If someone feels like a faceless drone and constantly has to worry about how to make it through life after retirement, neither a 3000$ gaming PC nor a trip to Bali is going to make them happy, both are just bandaids over the misery.

&gt; Most of life is lived in the unmemorable, in-between moments<p>I think this is the crux of the issue. By traveling, you can make &quot;experiences&quot; be a larger percent of your time, which makes me happier at least.<p>Before I started traveling, my life was almost the exact same every day&#x2F;week&#x2F;year. Sleep, work, gym, pub. Go surfing on weekends if waves were good. One snowboard&#x2F;surf holiday a year.<p>Then I started traveling, lived in a ski resort in Georgia (country not the state) for 3 months and went snowboarding everyday, that made me happy (at the time at least). Living in SA and surfing everyday was great as well.<p>I am in the experiences are better than possessions camp, assuming you can significantly change the ratio of regular life Vs experience.<p>Is going on 3 one week holidays better than buying a comfortable sofa you sit on every night to watch Netflix? Probably not.<p>But for me, traveling non-stop makes me happier than owning a house and a car.

The <i>buy experiences</i> meme has always had a slight air of having been engineered in travel industry laboratory somewhere and released into the wild.

I was firmly in the experiences over possessions camp for years. But now…<p>Without a doubt owning a nicer house would make me happier. More room for family and friends to stay over. More room for hobbies (a workshop would be great). Nicer views, quieter, fewer neighbours.<p>“Possessions create experiences”, very true. Buy a games consoles to play with friends. Build bonds. Buy a bicycle to go to a riding meet-up. Get fit. A holiday to Asia is much more ephemeral<p>A part of me feels the message was pushed as part of an agenda. Own nothing and you’ll be happy…!

It depends on what kind of &#x27;stuff&#x27; you are buying too. If it&#x27;s a tool that you can use to learn new things or create beautiful things, then that&#x27;s a possession that can unlock valuable experiences.<p>It seems like a simple truth to me that in the end, what humans value are experiences of some sort. And that possessions have weight and therefore can weigh you down. Over-analyzing the two as a dichotomy doesn&#x27;t seem that useful to me.

If there ever was a clearer case of false dichotomy.<p>It&#x27;s what you do with what you have. You can&#x27;t have experiences if you don&#x27;t possess certain things, and possesing things that you do nothing with is a waste.<p>But don&#x27;t let common sense get in the way of a study grant.

Unlike the vast majority I do not like travelling. probaby due to being autistic. I will share how it feels for me. (Everyone is different so just me)<p>This ought not to be much of a problem, just dont travel. But it has been the &quot;thing&quot; for so long, and people want to do it, and expect everyone else to.<p>I tend to focus on practical matters.<p>Overstuffed highly uncomfortable airplanes where there is space for my legs, my arms rub up against the person(s) next to me.<p>All the hassle at the airport.<p>Then the hotel is never more comfortable than home.<p>The climate can be uncomfortable.<p>London in a peak hot period, I find the underground horrible. But it has been a while, perhaps they have stuffed some ACs in there.<p>Having certain dietary restrictions does not help this is made much more of a problem I dont speak the local language enough to talk about food, directions, I speak 4 languages fluently, and I am able to fake it in about 5 more.<p>An expectation when travelling with someone to do all sorts of boring and annoying tourist rituals.<p>etc. etc. etc. etc.<p>I live in Norway now but come from Colorado. I far prefer driving somewhere to airplanes. Much less hassle, kind of comfortable can stop when I want, eat something I like, having a good idea about what is sh*t and what is not when it comes to hotels, restaurants etc.<p>It is of course boring to just travel in the states.<p>I do like modern art museums and well run zoos. If I find those that is a good thing.

My house is larger than I need with the best view I can imagine. My car faster than I need. I own all the toys I want.<p>A bigger house or car won&#x27;t make me happier at this point. Buying things doesn&#x27;t make me happier either.<p>Using these things and toys, enjoying the view with friends and family eating things from the garden and meat from my neighbours. This is what makes me happy

&gt; <i>When I look around myself, I see two kinds of consumers, broadly speaking. One tends more toward having nice possessions: They have nicely decorated homes and stylish clothing. The other tends more toward having crazy experiences: They’ve traveled widely for meditation retreats, exotic meals, and maybe the occasional orgy.</i><p>This makes it sound like the author lives in an episode of Succession.<p>More importantly, the author doesn&#x27;t seem to understand what &quot;experiences&quot; mean, because the examples he gives are very similar to &quot;possessions&quot; -- &quot;trying the beef in Argentina&quot; or making one&#x27;s &quot;entire [life] into the most glamorous Instagram feed possible&quot;. He systematically refers to experiences as something you buy.<p>Experiences are like love: the best ones are the ones you don&#x27;t have to pay for.

The article&#x27;s crux is on the subtitle: Be skeptical of pop psychology studies.<p>After reading the whole piece, I&#x27;m not sure any specific argument or point presented was stronger than the subtitle. Exactly because experiences vs possessions is a deep an interesting rabbit hole, having someone tell you in so many words &quot;Trust that you can actually learn, at least broadly, what makes you happy, and that you know yourself more deeply than a pop psychology article does.&quot; doesn&#x27;t look like a good use of someone&#x27;s time.<p>I guess that&#x27;s the classic dilemma of &#x27;think for yourself&#x27; pieces.

What of spending money doesn&#x27;t make you as happy as friends.<p>The author compares different ways of spending and living your life, but among ways of spending, not with free experience:&#x2F;<p>Doing football (I mean football, not the US thing) with friends is free and fun. You know you won&#x27;t have the experience that will reveal the deeper meaning of your life. But it&#x27;s just how you enjoy.<p>Going to Bali and south america for a beef makes no sense if you don&#x27;t have acquaintances there. Maybe &quot;you&#x27;ve been there&quot; but so what.<p>I&#x27;ve recently travelled to crazy parts of the world, but because I wanted to hang out with friends there and develop bonds. (And my last travel was just about going on a shopping see spree instead of visiting, because my friend was into that. Bow I have the shorts that he chooses during a travel, and that makes me happy)<p>So yeah, consumerism isn&#x27;t the way to happiness. Neither will be minimalism on its own, focusing on wealth, ...<p>Just do your things, idk, no one is there to judge . Make friends, make love, pick up painting or death metal to shout your soul,...<p>Just be the happiest guy on your deathbed (and we&#x27;re all on a death bed, memento Mori )<p>And neither pointless possession nor pointless experience will fill your existential void. But friends _a la muerte_ that you want to fly around the world to see will do just that !

Experiences don’t take up space, but then if your memory starts to go you’ll lose the experiences.

There is just one that I don&#x27;t understand about this article<p>It makes the difference between possessions that are truly a mean to an end, like a guitar to allow you to do music, and the Instagram experience (like going to the fancy restaurant when you&#x27;re visibly not interested in food)<p>When you like something (in this article the music), you can&#x27;t dissociate the possessions to do it (the guitar), and all the experience you need to practice and do your passion (your guitar will be pointless without gigs, without traveling to see inspiring and skilled people to train you, to find a subject to sing about,...)<p>And that can be extended to anything! Like science ? What&#x27;s the point of owning a supercomputer and lab equipment if you don&#x27;t go to conferences and PhD presentations of your friends ?<p>Like cycling? What&#x27;s the point of owning a bicycle if you don&#x27;t cycle to nearby towns to have restaurants there, or never travel to the mountains to practice,... ?<p>When you&#x27;re passionate about something, this passion and the people you will meet for it will matter. It&#x27;s not a matter of possessions vs experiences.<p>The only thing that matters is to thing about how each experience and possession will shape you

The article concentrates on different types of consumption. I find what really makes people happy is creating rather than consuming.

Experiences and possessions do not make one happy. Flow states are the real deal. Invest in yourself and your skills. Be like a japanese martial artist master that can kill with one strike of a katana. Or like Robert Fripp, John Carmack, Buddha, Terrence Tao etc. Pick something and try to master it. Rabbit hole is deep.

Definitely important to define terms. Seems like in this case experiences = thrill-seeking or &quot;bought experiences&quot;.<p>For that type of thing, I&#x27;m reminded of this SNL sketch about a tour operator that tries to set realistic expectations about what going to Italy can or can&#x27;t do for your life <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=TbwlC2B-BIg">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=TbwlC2B-BIg</a><p>&gt; There&#x27;s a lot a vacation can do. Help you unwind. See some different-looking squirrels. But it cannot fix deeper issues like how you behave in group settings or your general baseline mood. That is a job for incremental lifestyle changes sustained over time. We can give you the zipline. We cannot give you the ability to say &quot;wheeee&quot; and mean it.

If you are healthy you want thousand things to make you happy. If you are sick you only want one thing.

This is a wild late stage capitalist, Baudrillard&#x27;s Simulacra and Simulation take. The author exclusively refers to experiences as something to be bought. A Bali retreat, a dinner at Chez Panisse, you can imagine these as something Patrick Bateman would espouse at a dinner party.<p>The author makes the mistake in trying to distinguish between spending money on products and spending money on services, but these are fundamentally the same thing; they are just something to be bought. Only one is temporal and once is physical.<p>When people discuss the joys of experiences as anti-materialism, they are talking about actually doing something. Depending on your sense of adventure this could be going to a dinner party with friends, or climbing a mountain in a foreign country. True experience needs to happen in your own control, outside of consumerism. This is a well studied and written about phenomenon: see any adventure book written in the past 100 years.

Undoubtedly there’s something to be learned about the happiness-generating potential of possessions versus experiences in aggregate. But surely there must be significant intersubject variation. It probably has at least something to do with your stage of life. In my 30’s travel and acquisition of possessions were both a source of happiness. Approaching my 60’s now, both experiences and possessions have different value. I find I’m much more interested in the meaning behind how I use my time and money.

Happiness is overrated.<p>Which is more fulfilling? Ownership or experience?

The most profound experience I ever had was experiencing days as whole moments on a sabbatical where I just hiked for months straight.<p>My only possessions were about 20 lbs of gear. I can promise you, the possessions were necessary to make the experience possible but I don’t have a relationship with that year.<p>I have a relationship with the memory of how reality works when you disconnect from society and plug into nature.

I’m supposedly strongly in the unmaterialistic camp, but to my horror often when I finally buy useless nice to have things they turn out to be really important sources of active happiness for me for years. Like buying a nice car after owning reasonable cars previously, building home cinema or getting guitar way too good for my skill level when I already had a guitar.

Both possessions and experiences may put you in the aesthetic camp anyway. Some people are more wired for the ethical camp where commitment and doing the right things makes you happy.<p><a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;jondouglas.dev&#x2F;either-or&#x2F;" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;jondouglas.dev&#x2F;either-or&#x2F;</a>

I&#x27;m not thinking about possessions that I once had twenty years ago, but I am thinking about experiences.

The sky doesn&#x27;t complain about the clouds.<p>To my experience, the trouble seems to be in the external sourcing of feelings like happiness.<p>If only...I would exercises work for me when considering my intentions. If only I had a fast red car then I&#x27;d be happy. If only I went to Paris I would be happy.

I can’t believe the article used that midjourney image with the hell-beasts in the background

There&#x27;s always this, by Donovan, well commented too:<p>&gt;<a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=-cGWTAe3M6U">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.youtube.com&#x2F;watch?v=-cGWTAe3M6U</a><p>partial lyrics, perhaps the most meaningful:<p>&gt; Happiness runs, happiness runs<p>&gt; Why? Because

So it&#x27;s basically a make-or-buy decision: Buy your experiences or make it with the stuff you own.<p>And no, a hammer is not necessarily more boring than a guitar. It depends on what you do with it.

Learning to truly appreciate experiences is what makes people happiest. In the end, a possession is just another experience.

Touring through eastern Afghanistan with a cheap netbook and a backpack more than a decade ago made me extremely happy.

I don’t know if the author is right in general. But I possess a good German car and I have the experience daily of the quality of the car, the silence, the smoothness etc. And yes, it’s pretty nice!

Striving for happiness is a trap.

What make people happy are not experience per se, but the validation they get by posting them on instagram. It’s the same thing: in the 50s people uses to buy a new car or a new refrigerator to impress the neighbor and today they post their travel to Machu Picchu or Dubai to impress their followers