I used to do film reviews quasi-professionally. There's zero excuse for bribery, the work is hard enough to perform well as it is. Reviewers have at least three tasks before them.<p>1) The TV Guide summary, which consists of one or two sentences describing what happens during the film, perhaps a categorization, then some references to the actors wherein based on a scale which multiplies how much time that person is in the film against how famous that person is. The runtime part is easy. Then you have your star rating, which is almost agonizing. This product is used to determine whether or not you will just sort of put something on while you fold laundry.<p>2) The "do I want to exert effort and/or money seeing this film?" review. This is the most dangerous part. You have no idea who is reading this. How will you know that they will or will not like this movie? Your best bet here is to cover the most objective portions of the film in detail. Your subjective impressions must highlight their subjectivity and point out your own biases. This allows for the "Ebert doesn't really do most horror films well" factor, as well as some of his other quirks. For all that I might disagree, he wore his heart on his sleeve and I could predict which films he might give short shrift.<p>3) The third product is a monologue, hopefully something which can start a conversation somewhere, about the more abstract businesses of film-making. How has this actor developed over time? Is this a worthy entry in this director's career? Are there rip-offs, allusions, homages, nudges and winks? You can talk about anything which struck you during the film, so long as you leave room to begin a kind of dialogue with someone, somewhere.<p>The best you can hope for is that a reader understands what you have said in your review to the point where they can decide not to see a film you like, or vice versa, because you have sufficiently explained your reaction. I would not call myself a tastemaker, but I am good at, with friends, identifying what they will and will not like, whether or not I care for the film. A great deal of that just comes from examination of my own biases (my turn-ons, my turn-offs, my habits and my aversions).<p>It is a shame, but not especially shocking, at how we have just another clumsy fumble at our wallets and minds.