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Against Normalcy: Why Being Normal Can Be Dangerous

47 点作者 durmonski超过 1 年前

22 条评论

enasterosophes超过 1 年前
I feel like I have approached life from the opposite direction of the author. I walked to the beat of my own drum and didn&#x27;t care too much for opinions about how I was weird. I was making things better, and if other people weren&#x27;t along for the ride then it just showed how dumb and lazy they were.<p>Later, I realized that my relentless pursuit of self-improvement hasn&#x27;t brought me happiness. I need to work hard to cultivate good relationships if I want to be happy.<p>I suggest this post said more about the author than about life in general.
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URYSSmhd4J超过 1 年前
In 2020, there was no country in the world where at least majority (50%&gt;=) of the adult population smoked daily,[0] and I&#x27;d say that the modal cigarette consumption is almost certainly zero. Granted that the author leaves &quot;normal person&quot; and &quot;typically,&quot; &quot;statistically speaking,&quot; undefined, what does he think he could have meant?<p>Why would someone, on the 2024th year of Our Lord, write a silly claim such as <i>&quot;statistically speaking, a normal person typically... Smokes&quot;</i>? Not only that, but also put in the first line of their enumeration?<p>[0]: <a href="https:&#x2F;&#x2F;ourworldindata.org&#x2F;grapher&#x2F;share-of-adults-who-smoke">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;ourworldindata.org&#x2F;grapher&#x2F;share-of-adults-who-smoke</a>
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Barrin92超过 1 年前
What this article lacks is the self awareness that the entire process being described is the literal definition of normalcy. Hitting inflection points, changing your habits, then realizing that your new identity conflicts with your old social circle and so on is the most mundane stuff in human existence. It&#x27;s the narrative of every Bildungsroman. There&#x27;s a version of this blog from every person hitting 30&#x2F;40 or whatever.<p>Also culturally, this kind of stuff:<p><i>&quot;Don’t feel ashamed of acting differently. Find out what works for you, regardless of what others think.&quot;</i><p><i>is</i> already the default mantra of our time that everyone is supposed to live up to, that&#x27;s the slogan of every Pepsi commercial. Nowadays it&#x27;d be significantly weirder to say: &quot;Listen to the advice of your elders and live up to social rule expected of you&quot;.
mattgreenrocks超过 1 年前
Yeah, I need to digest this more.<p>However I find myself in similar shoes, if only for the fact that almost person I can count as a friend (e.g. beyond the level of an acquaintance) is &quot;normal&quot; and &quot;successful&quot; (for some reasonable definition) and also taking SSRI or similar type medications in order to function. Those that aren&#x27;t are very obviously self-medicating in some way. Is this the price of normal?<p>It is downright chilling. It may be that depression is an affliction of wealth, but I&#x27;ve had it long enough to see it as a curse you never rid yourself of.<p>PS: please don&#x27;t go full Internet pedant and tell me about all my biases and sampling errors. That goes without saying: it&#x27;s self-reported data!
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tptacek超过 1 年前
&quot;I studied the blade&quot; is a more succinct expression of the same sentiment.
tester756超过 1 年前
&gt;Travels because it’s considered acceptable – and cool – to travel.<p>Wow, that&#x27;s how I feel, I&#x27;m not a fan of traveling<p>It doesn&#x27;t make me happy, tires me as hell due to planning &amp; stuff, I don&#x27;t feel like I&#x27;m getting anything out of it (except improving bound with my friends)<p>But somehow I don&#x27;t think I know even one person who doesn&#x27;t like traveling.<p>Generally I&#x27;m finding this post really coherent with my experience, but I&#x27;ve been calling it &quot;why is it so hard to be relatively rational?&quot;<p>like you know - not smoking, drinking a lot, doing sports, etc.<p>I&#x27;d add one thing:<p>People rarely aggressively manage their careers, especially outside tech.
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groby_b超过 1 年前
It&#x27;s great to make conscious choices of what you want from your life, and accounting for the trade-offs. But these choices are likely different for everybody.<p>This post makes the fundamental mistake of assuming that &quot;different&quot; is automatically &quot;better&quot;. Some people might enjoy shows over books because e.g. they lack mental imagery and enjoy visualizations. Some people might enjoy wine because it works for their palate. Yes, it has a health impact, but guess what, so has long distance running.<p>Choose the path that works for you, and enjoy it. But if we all could stop telling each other that somehow, we personally lucked onto finding the perfect path, that&#x27;d be helpful. It&#x27;d be different from the normal case on the Internet, too.
jassyr超过 1 年前
I really enjoyed the read, thank you! Though... I get the feeling we&#x27;re all obsessing over how to live instead of just... Living. About halfway through I got anxiety thinking about how to improve my life.
stevenking86超过 1 年前
I don&#x27;t know. I did enjoy the read even if I didn&#x27;t agree with it very much.<p>I&#x27;m unsure if it&#x27;s meant to be life advice or philosophy but it misses the mark on both for me.<p>If life advice: Sure maybe for you? Others might find they&#x27;re a bit happier with a drink and their comfort TV shows in the evening.<p>If philosophy: Aren&#x27;t mindless self indulgence and relentless self improvement both just raging against an inevitable death? In a Buddhist sort of &quot;All life is suffering&quot; sort of way? What about being present?
dzolob超过 1 年前
<i>When I decided that I didn’t want to be normal. I didn’t do it intentionally. I didn’t wake up one day declaring, “I’m an idiot surrounded by other idiots!”</i><p><i>No, I started with identifying behaviors that were corrupting my life and then made a conscious decision to replace them with alternative activities. Activities that were meant to contribute to my life progression, instead of persisting in current endeavors that have confined me in a wretched abyss of mediocrity.</i><p>Oh, boy! An idiot among idiots? “corrupting” your life? Life progression? “Wretched abyss of mediocrity”?<p>I’m sorry to break it to you, but while you might have moved from “statistical normality”, you have become a linkedin meme, which is, in fact, the pinnacle of normal.<p>Long life to the struggles of the soul and the search of the heart. Beware of those who claim to have found a solution for the human condition based on such vain things as fitness, money or turning off the tv. Sure, take care of your body and your mind, find a more holistic way of being, but don’t be fooled into thinking that happiness or fulfillment is behind empty accomplishments that make you feel better than your friends, family and many other worthy human beings.
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sharadov超过 1 年前
You can indulge from time to time.<p>Based on your list I would be considered &quot;abnormal&quot;.<p>But I also like to socialize from time to time - and it can mean I&#x27;ve polished off half a bottle of wine hanging out with people I dearly love, who I don&#x27;t see that often and where I lose track of time and miss the next day&#x27;s workout is worth the price.<p>If I am disciplined 90% of the time - I can goof up for the 10%.
anovikov超过 1 年前
Not arguing with most of it. And for those struggling with executing on it, i highly recommend to get on Ozempic&#x2F;Wegovy which helps with nearly all the list just due to the way it wraps your mind - anyway, if you have a problem procrastinating, drinking, overeating and not saving money you are also likely overweight and qualify for it.<p>But question is: wtf is wrong about travelling? I understand the purpose of travelling simply as: seeing new stuff frequently and frequently doing everyday things in a way you never did before just because new surroundings force you to. You can&#x27;t follow you normal routine, you have to think on every step. That keeps your mind sharper. The older you are, the more benefit it makes. What&#x27;s wrong about it? Smartest (and richest) people i know just travel most of the time literally. A few are nomadic in the most direct sense: they move from one 5-star hotel suite to the next for years and years.
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booleandilemma超过 1 年前
<i>I stopped watching shows, so I can focus more on books.</i><p>It really depends on what you&#x27;re reading. If you trade binging Netflix for binging scifi novels, it&#x27;s basically the same thing.
cgrealy超过 1 年前
Deciding not to do “normal” things is fine. You don’t want to drink or smoke or watch TV? Good for you.<p>But it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can enjoy some really great TV and ignore the reality dreck. You can have a beer with friends or enjoy a wine with a meal without being an alcoholic.<p>And you can go for a run without feeling the need to look down on people who don’t want to do ultras.
hscontinuity超过 1 年前
The author&#x27;s subjective take is objectively pure subjection of his own experience.<p>And though I say this not as judgement, rather as speculation - the experiences read from a person who hasn&#x27;t known life prior to the inception of the internet, and all that came forth from it, after it.
JohnFen超过 1 年前
&quot;Normal&quot; is just another word for &quot;average&quot;, and who wants to be average?
SebFender超过 1 年前
&quot;a life where you push yourself to get better is not necessarily a life where everything feels awesome.&quot;<p>That&#x27;s the big challenge these days - many people think life is supposed to be &quot;always awesome&quot; - and it&#x27;s not.<p>If you think drinking, smoking and staying out late is fun - cool. Wait till these guys hit 40&#x2F;50 and you&#x27;ll see the result - I did and quite happy about my choices.<p>Short term thinking is ultimately what kills us.
JohnMakin超过 1 年前
&gt; Watches all kinds of sports, but never participates in sports himself.<p>This is incredibly ableist. I don&#x27;t necessarily disagree with the rest but this stood out a lot.
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dotcoma超过 1 年前
Thanks for sharing this, even if I think there’s absolutely no need to do the things other people do, ever.<p>All you need to do is to teach yourself how to love different things.
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artfloriani超过 1 年前
Thanks for putting these words together - I can relate to it!<p>I feel this article lacks a bit of the purpose behind &quot;being different&quot;. I agree that doing what you described is not easy and will make you socialise less than before. However, isn&#x27;t the point of all these changes to make you feel good?<p>If you are feeling depressed or have a feeling that everything is &quot;work&quot; - I would question, &quot;What &#x27;being different&#x27; will do for you?&quot;. If you are &#x27;living for the future&#x27;, what is your deadline to live this way before you start enjoying life?<p>One extra tool that has been super helpful for me (although a bit hard to start) is self-compassion. It helped me be more aligned with what I want. Sometimes, I want to brainlessly rest by watching Netflix, which is fine as long as I&#x27;m not lying to myself.<p>Anyway, thanks for sharing again :)
egads超过 1 年前
I feel like I have a very clear idea why the author&#x27;s friends quit hanging out with him.
jesstaa超过 1 年前
A guy describing his most basic bitch lifestyle as unique and different from everybody else.