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How To Do A Startup On The Side And Not Lose Your Family

217 点作者 speric将近 13 年前

23 条评论

aculver将近 13 年前
Make that N=2. This post is very, very similar to my own experience after launching my "startup on the side" last year (<a href="http://www.limelightapp.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.limelightapp.com/</a>) and the advice closely parallels what I'd give to others as well.<p>&#62;&#62; Get your spouse or SO's buy-in. Until that happens, I'd suggest not going forward.<p>Agree completely. I think one key to gaining my wife's incredible support was the understanding we both had that Limelight came after her and the kids. Once we had that discussion, she <i>made</i> time for me to work on it once the kids were in bed.<p>&#62;&#62; Something has to give, and it's usually your hobbies.<p>I miss Japanese. :-(
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mountaineer将近 13 年前
I've been doing side-projects while supporting a family for over 8 years now and I share a lot of your experiences. One of them led to being acquihired at a funded startup in the same area. It was a lot easier when there was one kid. Now with 3, like yourself, I find it's near impossible to get any kind of consistent focus. However, I know the hours are usually there, so that's my problem more than anything.<p>However, I will say this. If you're thinking about starting a startup on the side, don't. That's my advice, don't do it. If you're a young hacker without kids, make a full-time go at it. If you've already got kids, save until you can. While I admire the poster's ability to juggle so many things, this cannot be maintained for more than a year, maybe two before you will come to resent one or more of your job, your family, your partners.<p>If you do go ahead, make office hours and stick to them. That's the only thing I've ever found to be effective in terms of relieving the need to work on it.<p>Of course will I take my own advice? Probably not, once you start, it's hard to stop, the allure is too tempting to scratch an itch, solve a problem, or learn a new technology. But, don't say I didn't warn you.
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elliottcarlson将近 13 年前
The most important lesson I learned the hard way was not prioritizing things correctly. At one point in my relationship I was working obscene hours to get a project done by a certain deadline. The timeline was completely unreasonable - and my employer just as much. Sadly, I take my work seriously and will do anything I can to get things launched on time and this sadly involved plenty of late nights in the office just to come home and continue to work after dinner and even pulling an all nighter. This had serious repercussions on my health, my literal sanity and worst of all on my relationship. I have since left that job and have learned that prioritizing your life like this article states is extremely important, and you will be happier staying organized.
DigitalSea将近 13 年前
I've been doing the same thing for about 5 years now. I think I've somewhat nailed splitting time between family, friends, employment obligations and having a life. I get by on 6 hours sleep a night (my body is used to that amount now, any more and I feel like crap). I stay up late working on my ideas, get up early working on my ideas, use my laptop on the train commute to work (35 minutes), use any spare time I can during my lunch break to work on my projects.<p>Support of your spouse is a must, no doubt about that. If your spouse see's all of your time spent on the computer as just that, "being on the computer" forget about having a startup the support isn't there. I'm fortunate enough to have a supportive spouse who understands I want to succeed not only for us, but because I'm tired of making other people money and have untamed entrepreneurial spirit.<p>Great article.
SABmore将近 13 年前
Eric: Thanks for sharing, and great tips. As someone who is in the same boat, I'm always curious as to how others handle the situation. I'm assuming your goal is to leverage the success of your startup so that you can leave your day job? If so, how do you keep focused on your day job, when the excitement of your startup keeps pulling more at you, especially if you are as you start to see success? I'm in a day job that I hate (its soul crushing), but that gives me the flexibility to work on my startup. The allure of my startup is always calling, but its going to be a while before we see profit, and I've got a wife and bills waiting for me at home so I do what I can to stay sane. All the best.
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talentchef将近 13 年前
As Eric's co-founder, I'm encouraged he put this out there. We have regular conversations about staying focused and not letting the "what if" scenarios rule the tasks at hand. I think there is huge value in constrained resources early in the life of your startup and certainly one of the most scarce is time. This external time constraint has to focus our efforts for maximum ROI. Of course this constraint also keeps us agile as we don't have the luxury of excess anything.<p>An old, wise chicken restaurant founder (Truett Cathy) said in his book, Eat More Chicken, Inspire More People, (paraphrasing terribly) "Growing slowly allows you to grow into your success and your mistakes.". We still dream about success, about trend lines that go up (and they are), but focusing on the resources at hand to make that dream a reality has been our key to date. I'd love for everything to move faster from a growth perspective of course but keeping priorities straight means speed is exchanged for quality of life, agile and lean growth, and the unsung hero in the startup world, sanity.
Dewitters79将近 13 年前
Good to see I'm not alone! I'm 33 with 2 kids, working on <a href="http://www.koonsolo.com" rel="nofollow">http://www.koonsolo.com</a> in my spare time. I have the advantage that my hobby is my startup: creating games. It's still hard to find the time though. My advice: get plenty of sleep to stay productive. But with a small baby, even this is sometimes hard to get.<p>Best of success to every spare time entrepreneur daddy! :)
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pigs将近 13 年前
Nice writeup, but I would think watching Chelsea win the Champions League is the exact opposite of "an emotionally traumatic experience".
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emmelaich将近 13 年前
Great post. Here's the bit I'd like to emphasise:<p>&#62; When you're with your family or friends, "be there" mentally<p>You know those ads for laptops with the perfect family plus dog on the beach or at the park, with one of the parents using a laptop? What a horrible lie. Never do that.<p>It says to your kids/spouse that even when you're <i>there</i> you're <i>not</i> there.
acconrad将近 13 年前
Talk about hitting home. This was me a year ago, except my girlfriend (who I then planned to marry) broke up with me.<p>&#62; "By far the biggest win in my situation is the support of my wife. She not only tolerates my involvement in a startup, she actively supports me and roots for me. She wants to see us succeed."<p>Truer words have never been spoken. You don't lose your family by equal parts self-discipline but ALSO having a spouse that supports and tolerates that kind of craziness. It makes sense why doctors marry doctors, lawyers marry lawyers, PhDs marry PhDs...cause someone working the 9 to 5 cannot appreciate, nor empathize, with the other person's extended (and often erratic) working schedule. They'll feel neglected since they have more free time, and it will be tough to relate and feel appreciated. This I know first hand.
ahmadss将近 13 年前
The one thing you mentioned in your post but, in my opinion, didn't emphasize enough, is the fact that you have a co-founder helping you with this.<p>I've found that it's a much easier sell a side project to the family when you have a team mate believing in this idea and willing to work at it with you. That early "validation" goes a long way in justifying time away from the family to spend hacking/coding/selling.
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AznHisoka将近 13 年前
Where do friends fit in? You seem to think that they are expendable since you don't see those Saturday soccer mornings as particularly important.
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ams6110将近 13 年前
<i>Get your spouse or SO's buy-in.</i><p>The challenge here is does SO really understand a priori what [s]he is buying into.
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flojito将近 13 年前
My 2 cents: I just spend 7 hours working each day (5 off 7). The remaining time I just live! Having fun with my 2 kids: reading, playing, practising martial arts. To sum up: enjoying the life, it's too wonderful to spend it working :-)
gawker将近 13 年前
Thanks for sharing. I appreciate the part about providing for family. It's never easy when you have other people who depend on you and so it's comforting to hear of others who are in a similar situation.
tevih将近 13 年前
These are things everybody here knows. It just helps to read, and reread it, to keep us focused, and get the support from the community, knowing we all have to squeeze 37 hour days into a measly 24.
andreer将近 13 年前
It seems amazing what you can find time for, I'm inspired. I'd be very curious to see it quantified in a schedule of your typical (or any) week, to see how it all fits together.
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hilti将近 13 年前
Great Post!<p>To me, the toughest part is to focus on an idea, because the internet is full of inspiration.
mxu将近 13 年前
It feels good to know my situation is not unique. Thanks for sharing!
j45将近 13 年前
Thanks for sharing. There is more than one path.
abcd_f将近 13 年前
What's an "elder?"
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elchief将近 13 年前
Up-vote, purely for not misspelling "Lose".
ogd将近 13 年前
someone on HN believes in God? No judgments, I just thought hacker and atheist were deeply intertwined. Perhaps I just picked up the wrong impression from Reddit.
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