On Living Below Your Potential

I remember feeling this way for much of my high school and college years. I even told my Harvard interviewer that I really hated how everyone always harped on my "potential", like there was some mythical standard I had to live up to. I didn't get in.<p>When I graduated, I had some minor successes with my independent programming projects. Revamped the software for FictionAlley.org. Wrote a fairly popular Haskell tutorial. Ported Arc to JavaScript. All of these got me attention, but they weren't really things that people <i>used</i>, they were just idle diversions for some niche communities.<p>It's only in the last couple years that my career took off. We revamped the Google Search page in 2010 - the first successful major visual redesign of websearch in 10 years. Identified authors for a few million pages on the web. Made perhaps a billion people happy for a few moments with various doodles &#38; easter eggs. And helped out with the GFiber launch last week.<p>What made the difference, I think, was that I stopped caring so much about living up to <i>my</i> potential and started caring more about being a part of important things. Basically all of those world-changing projects that you see in the news are <i>team</i> efforts, which many people contribute to. And we hunt for the individuals behind them because we want to find heroes, but really, there are no heroes. Only groups of people working their asses off to make things happen.<p>Maybe the secret to reaching your potential is as Randy Pausch said in his Last Lecture: realize that to accomplish anything worthwhile, you'll need help from other people. And then focus on being the type of person that other people want to help.<p>It also seems to be a lot more fun this way.<p>(As a side note, it strikes me how awkward the English language is when trying to describe group efforts I've been a part of. I want to use "we" to describe these efforts, because it's inaccurate to say "<i>I</i> redesigned the Google Search page" or "<i>I</i> launched Google Fiber last week" - there were a whole bunch of other people involved too. But at the same time, it's inaccurate to say "we", because there was a different group of people involved for each of those, and I'm really describing <i>my</i> career arc through a variety of these projects.)

Looking back at myself just a decade ago: Talking to young(er) people about life when they haven't lived is like trying to wake up someone who doesn't know they're asleep.<p>The spectrum of life lived, experiences had, and lessons positively learnt aren't wide, or often enough.<p>Without meaningful mentors, free of personal agendas, helping you push you push yourself, self-development can slow down.<p>The thing is, innovation and creativity live in the mindset of possibility, not doubt.<p>Building one skill trumps all others: discipline. First a healthy inner-dialogue, and improving discipline every day in every way.<p>We easily become undisciplined, so we seek the discipline of others instead of finding our own. Some march to someone else's orders, and follow the direction of others. Everyone's doing this framework? Everyone's building this? What am I missing out on? We feel left behind when our own feet aren't moving, let alone away from time wasting, resultless things like entreporn.<p>It takes a lot of self-directed effort to get in, and stay in a mindset of possibility, while not getting washed away in the self-doubt of others, or the blindness of your own.<p>Becoming and staying self-directed and relentless is a challenge, focussed on the right things even more, everything in life will want you to fit in if you let it.<p>All I know is if I'm doing what everyone's doing and using what everyone's using, I'll end up like everyone else.

According to the 'scientists' of the field, we are the entitlement generation, raised by hippies who broke all the rules and taught us to do the same, for the betterment of our own well-being, putting ourselves above the demands of others.<p>Perhaps this is what the OP, and the rest of this generation, is feeling: A constant nagging feeling that we are not getting everything we should be from life and that we are succumbing to societal pressures, letting ourselves become slaves to the Man for a measly paycheck every month?<p>A lot of studies have pointed to this phenomenon, f.ex. that students these days expect nothing less than the perfect job where they will completely realize themselves and be very comfortable financially at the same time.<p>I know that I have some of that feeling too, which is why I sit night and day in front of this screen and keyboard hacking away at my escape plan from the life of a corporate drone. I do sometimes wonder if I'd be happier and healthier taking a reality check of my ambitions, and what will happen to me if I fail and have to clip the ID badge back on and check in Monday morning at BigCo.

This feeling, that you are meant for something important but you don't know what it is, is the clearest signal you will ever get that you have yet to find your passion.<p>It gets harder to investigate your passions as you get older because you have more responsibilities to others, but the best thing to do when you don't know where your passion lies is to try as many different things as you can. Generally you can volunteer for things to get access to activities for which you want to go in with an attitude of if this isn't it then I'm going to do something different. You can volunteer through the various sciences, animal shelters, data gathering, politics, medical help, public service, television and radio, community service, environmental concerns, fishing, arts, etc. The nice thing about volunteering is that you can do your best and its always good enough because hey, its free for them right?<p>And while you're on this journey of self discovery you have to be <i>aware</i> which is to say you have to ask yourself at the end of the day, "How do I feel about the work I did today? Was it good? Was it great? Was it <i>meaningful</i>?" Listen to the inner you, shut out the voices of the world telling you what you <i>should</i> be doing, and find your center.<p>When you find it, build your life around it, make it your own. There won't be any more 'mediocre jobs' there will only be "This lets me work on this amazingly cool and important thing."

Its probably an unpopular sentiment here, but I found my "potential" to be exhausting. My guidance counselor would be appalled; I choose to live somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4. I could be more, someday I might find a cause that makes me want to be, but for now, I'm just happy taking it a little easy and hanging out with my friends and family.

"Potential" is a myth.<p>Our "potential" is determined by our genetics and environment. I believe each human does his "best" and by that I mean, does what he thinks he needs to do to get the things he wants, based on his own priorities. For some people, this is sitting at home and playing games all day. For some it's writing an operating system. For some it's going to the moon.<p>Essentially I believe that any of us, at any given point in our lives: could not have done any better than we did. I believe we will always do what we want to do, and that's that. That will, that desire to do something by the way, it's just an illusion. It's an abstraction built upon the deterministic movement of physical phenomena.<p>I was told by about a million teachers in high school "oh you have such great potential, if only you applied yourself"<p>It took me until my mid twenties to realize that I <i>was</i> applying myself. I have a limited capacity for <i>application</i>.<p>Even if you aren't ultimately limited by your cleverness, your limitations in capacity for execution can thwart your career.<p>Thus I'm 25, no degree, hack for fun, contract work here and there, and otherwise I could care less. I can execute uninteresting work, but I have a limited tolerance for it. Perhaps its more of a blessing than I think though, because it's really cemented in my mind that I must make and sell my own products.<p>I want a degree. Maybe I'll get one someday.

The last couple of years I have found myself intensely making the same thoughts, constantly measuring life by some invisible standard that is grounded on a hazy idea of what my potential is. And coming up short. Recently I've been looking around me more. I notice that not everyone has the same stringent criteria of what constitutes success or fulfillment of one's life purpose. They seem happier too.<p>The author states: <i>"I wanted to be doing something greater, something more, that childhood emotional memory was back again, begging for more"</i>. I am all for aiming for the sky, putting in the hard work, getting out of the rat race, raising capital, becoming a billionaire, whatever. But then I step back and see the bigger picture; I try to suppress that emotional memory, try to stop being depressed because I am not swinging for the fences as I should (?) be doing. I stop comparing myself to the top 1% that frequents HN.<p>Then I become happy and content. Because I am alive and healthy. Because I don't have to slave away to secure my food. But this only lasts for a tiny bit and I again swiftly swim in my self-perceived ocean of mediocrity.<p>Help?

I highly recommend "The Underachiever's Manifesto: The Guide to Accomplishing Little and Feeling Great": <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Underachievers-Manifesto-Accomplishing-Feeling/dp/0811853683" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/The-Underachievers-Manifesto-Accomplis...</a><p>Face it, if we're reading HN on a Saturday, probably thinking about work, we're probably saddled with the nagging feeling that we're not achieving enough. But achievement can become a dangerous addiction that makes us unhappy.<p>There are common themes in the book that come up in software engineering as well, like "perfect is the enemy of the good" and "the law of diminishing returns applies everywhere". It's a rational way to think about living.

"Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who've ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need. We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives. We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off. " - Tyler Durden

It's rare to see such shameless, unfiltered whining. How passive!<p><i>Ever since I was a young child I have always felt that there was something great I was meant to do, something beyond what I was doing at any present moment.</i><p>It's something you were meant to <i>do</i>, not something meant to happen to you.

Derek Sivers is one of my philosophical role models, as he writes on life from the perspective of someone who already did something "great" (starting a successful business and gaining financial independence). Ironically, one of his most repeated messages is to assume being below average and excite yourself by being over your head. For example, <a href="http://sivers.org/beginner" rel="nofollow">http://sivers.org/beginner</a> , <a href="http://sivers.org/below-average" rel="nofollow">http://sivers.org/below-average</a> , and <a href="http://sivers.org/scares-excites-do-it" rel="nofollow">http://sivers.org/scares-excites-do-it</a> all share the same basic message.<p>I think life is too multi-dimensional to successfully become the Übermensch.

I love how this is written... Kinda wish there was an extension to it. Perhaps a meditation on where / how to move forward. Perhaps a wild fancy?

My advice would be to get in the habit of making an accomplishment every day. Little success every day, not matter what it is, will get you out of the rut.<p>I am reading 2% of War and Peace every day. Made it to 75% by now, and every day that I read the book I have something to look back to. Contemplative reading has second order effects as well - I feel I can concentrate better, which is very helpful given that the internet has taught our minds to jump all over the place like a monkey. I set aside an hour in the evening and do nothing but read.<p>Try it. If nothing else you will have read a great book. And then you will become acquainted with one of the books key characters l'Russe Bezuhoff, who seems to have had all of the same doubts that you do, only exactly 200 years earlier. :)

This pretty much sums my life up in a nutshell. I feel this a lot because I tend not to be satisfied with a lot of my work. I always critique and find ways I can do it better. That's probably why I don't have a whole lot to my name.

The world needs all sorts of people and jobs filled. Just because someone grows up privileged doesn't mean the upper echelons are their birthright. Rich parents and family are idiots for imposing their own entitlement complexes on others, instead of just letting them find their own path in life.

Sivers once told me most people do not know what they want, so if you do, you're already one step closer to achieving anything. I'd say, if you feel useless, start by setting a goal and define the first step towards it. It feels mighty to have a goal.

okay, enough lurking. this is what narcissism looks like. you are not special. you can make something great, everybody can, but you will waste your life because it is easier to just dream about how awesome you are.<p>"I'll do whatever it takes not to move towards success, because then I will never have failed." - you, right now.<p>you disgust me.

This comment may seem trollish or stupid, but it is what I would say to the OP if I met him in real life. If it doesn't sound nice that's because conversations aren't always nice.<p>Stop whining. Just do whatever you want to do.<p>As a question to everyone else here: why upvote this shameless self-pity?

Thanks for this!

Know thyself.

I'm currently where you were in Korea, thanks for letting me know it's going to go so I can prevent it :)