From TFA "We discuss the core ideas in the context of a read-only system, for simplicity. Many Dremel queries are one-pass aggregations; there-fore, we focus on explaining those and use them for experiments in the next section. We defer the discussion of joins, indexing, up-dates, etc. to future work." Really, it takes Dremel multiple SECONDS to complete trivial massively parallelized read queries? It must take hours for an UPDATE or JOIN then. Wake me up when you move past the trivial, until then, enjoy your hair.