Things I do to be consistently happy

I have a theory. I think that self-help books and articles actually make people miserable. I'm quite happy, and I manage to be happy without having a list of the 6 essential things I must do every day to stay happy.<p>In my personal life, the people most into self-help books and the like are the least happy. Correlation doesn't prove causation, so I can't blame the books and blogs -- but they certainly don't seem to be helpful either.<p>edit: I meant this as a light-hearted observation, not as a put-down to anyone who finds self-help helpful. :) I do think however that it's possible to become less happy by trying to over-optimize every moment of your life.

I find it somewhat interesting how often people profess that their key to happiness essentially boils down to living the sort of "good life" that in many ways is the Christian ideal, regardless of whether or not they are personally religious.<p>Although there are habits and rituals that can lead to a more positive outlook, such as exercising regularly, there are deeper aspects to this way of life. This includes helping others, which is featured in this article, but also includes dealing with others fairly and honestly (aka the Golden Rule), being willing to put others above yourself (at least part of the time), optimizing for long-term gain (the religious may be looking beyond death but there's also value in a somewhat shorter view), and so on.<p>Add in hard work and self-betterment ("Learn new skills") and it's not just a Christian outlook, it's downright Protestant.<p>But given the complexity of human nature, surely there are other ways to be happy. One option, generally only successfully exercised by the very rich, is to engage in constant luxurious pleasure. In spite of the fact that a majority of the planet's humans likely would be happy to adopt this way of life, we're told that the individuals who do are not actually happy and would be better off living like hard-working American Protestants.<p>At the other extreme is asceticism, which supposedly can lead to a life of satisfaction and contentment, if not happiness, but it generally seems to be a case of extreme long-term optimization, with little if anything in the way of short-term rewards. In any case, it's not a realistic life choice for me, since I have a family and no desire to leave them behind to live in a desert monastery.<p>So besides living the life of a monk, living the Protestant work ethic, and living the life of a dissolute jetsetter, what else is there that seems to offer a convincing chance at happiness?

I'm curious how many programmers find themselves most productive at specific times of the day. Personally, I'm <i>by far</i> the most productive late at night, in 1am - 4am territory.<p>The primary reason is that there are fewer distractions. The news cycle has slowed, my FB news feed is all but dead, I'm not receiving any emails/calls/chats, my roommates are asleep, and it's too late to accomplish chores like shopping or doing laundry. I'm also less likely to <i>desire</i> switching to another task, having accomplished them all earlier in the day. In other words, when I get into the zone late at night, I'm more likely to <i>stay</i> in the zone.<p>Another reason has to do with the pressure of a deadline. The later it gets, the stronger that nagging feeling is in the back of my mind telling me, "It's late. Go to bed." Nothing gets me working more efficiently than a rapidly approaching deadline. And, unlike most deadlines, I can continually push this one back: "1AM? Okay one more hour. 2AM? Shit, just one more hour." I can spend an almost indefinite amount of time in "deadline mode".<p>Of course this only works if you don't have anything important to wake up for in the morning.

At the risk of going completely off topic and being all philosophical:<p>Can someone explain to me what 'being happy' means?<p>I have consistently failed to answer anyone who asked me if I was happy or not. All I can say is that I am content or not. Which, for me, means that I am satisfied with the situation I am in. I can do what I want to do, when I want to do it and do not have to be bothered by things that do not interest me.<p>Happiness, on the other hand, is not something I understand. It feels like an utterly inappropriate term to use to describe this particular sensation. I have always regarded it as this magical state of being that would be used by people who also talk of 'achieving ultimate enlightenment'.<p>"The ultimate goal in life is to be happy" is what I hear regularly. And I have to keep wondering what could possibly be so wonderful about it that makes this worth being the sole focus of a person's life?<p>edit: Fixed some grammar.

I have two issues with this advice. One is, it's incredibly robotic. The same routine every day, the same times doing the same things, the same route every evening. Basically he is creating boredom. I have no trouble believing that it makes the st of his life more interesting. Would I want to follow that? Hardly. Responding to my environment, doing unexpected things, improvisation, these are things that make me happy. I get bored doing the same thing twice, there is no way on earth I joule be able to robotically do the same freaking routine every day.<p>Second: this life advice clearly comes from someone without a family. I read some comments stating that his routine is conductive to a family friendly life style, and in theory it is. But young children do not care about theory. They have dreams, don't want to sleep yet, throw up, get sick and a million more things. Every one of which would ruin this guy's schedule. Also, he never goes out, a movie or dinner? There's never a concert in town? Friends and family to visit?<p>Seriously, it's advice from a person with no social contacts (IRL) who has discovered bliss by living like a monk. Thanks, but no thanks.

I've never felt that great during those times I've had to regularly be up early school or work. Back when I was on the swim team and regularly got up by 5am, I was <i>not</i> a happy camper.<p>The happiest time I've had, my schedule was this: I slept from 5am to noon. I generally drank 1.5L of water and did about a 90 minute run right after getting up, showered, put on my suit and hit the office by 2:30pm. I stayed until about 11pm, then went out with my friends for seafood, veggies and beer at a 熱炒 (stir fry?) restaurant. Then, I'd come home at about 1:30 and do some work on my computer until 4am. After that I'd watch a video online, write a couple of note to myself for the next day and go to bed.<p>I completely agree with the blogger on the impact of exercising, continual learning, and helping others. It's not the most important stuff, though. I've found that having really good friends matters at least as much as any of his keys to happiness. Being in love doesn't hurt, either.

There is no such thing as "consistently happy." If you're interested in the subject, I recommend paying attention to Daniel Kahneman's work instead of vapid self-helpy blog posts.<p><a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_experience_vs_memory.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.ted.com/talks/daniel_kahneman_the_riddle_of_exper...</a><p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/0374275637" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/Thinking-Fast-Slow-Daniel-Kahneman/dp/...</a>

One thing that I am impressed with is that Joel (OP) is good at following advice.<p>About 7 days ago I commented that I thought his post was inappropriately named (I took issue with Joel using "How to name your startup" rather than "my experience with how I named my startup" (because of what I felt was his limited experience in this area).<p><a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4371318" rel="nofollow">http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4371318</a><p>On this post he titles correctly "6 Things <i>I do</i> to be consistently happy".

I'm at my happiest when I've 3-6 months of living expenses in my bank account. This is freedom.<p>However, getting there without going through a gruelling 9-5 existence can be demotivating. You have to do it. People will probably be happiest getting advice on how to be content in an unhappy (/less than ideal) work environment, as this is what most people have to do.<p>Unless you're lucky enough to find the right collaborators, and funding, or stumble into an idea that makes money from the start, or start trying to do your own thing early on in your 20s when time doesn't matter so much, you're going to have to do the 9-5, and save up, and instead of buying a house take some time off for your own ideas.<p>Cycle to work. Live closer to work. Take your lunch break &#38; have a stroll. Don't eat too many pizzas or chips. See some friends at least twice a week. Cook a nice meal for a mate. See an amazing film. Don't watch live tv. Find projects to work on with people you like, and that they're also motivated by. Ask someone you like out on a date, at least once a month. Be ambitious, but don't beat yourself up for not achieving. Learn from mistakes - actually recognise improvements, but don't beat yourself up for not doing them..they'll be another time. Ignore fluffy people - there's nothing going on below their superficial surfice. Live within your means; don't buy a new shiney device if you can't afford it when something else will do the same job. Save money for a rainy day.<p>[Edit:updated a spelling mistake, and added below] Practicalities like finding a good house mate, that allows you to have a good 8 hour sleep, whilst maintaining a degree of interesting human contact allude me.

I think the only thing I would add to this very sensible list is to have multiple, different classes of tasks that engage different skills. This way you can often work very long but not feel tired or bored.

One thing which I noticed (and I'm sad because that seems to be trend for a new generation) that none of 6 things is related to family and friends. Something like having sex (directly correlated with happiness), drinking with friends, small rituals like morning coffee with your spouse, hanging out with kids, etc.<p>In other words, I doubt that these 6 things will make anybody happy if there is no family and partner next to you. These 6 points are very important to ensure that you are not stressed out - but not really happy.

This article resonates with me on so many levels. When I started working on Semantics3 early this year, I spent many a day frustrated that I was barely achieving 50% of the productivity that I was capable of and I felt quite miserable about it. Here are a few things I did to get things back on track:<p>1) Moved Closer to Work: Daily long journeys are massive downers. When I awake in the morning, I often feel the urge to hit my laptop right away and channel all the early morning enthusiasm towards work. College years were ideal on this front because there was never anywhere to be (I wasn't too inclined towards attending classes ;)). Anyway, now, I live 20 mins away from work.<p>2) Stopped Listening to Music (especially during the few hours after I awake): I'm a music buff and perennially have music in my ears. But I find that music often blocks useful thoughts; letting the mind wander leads me down interesting channels, be it more ideas for my startup or even bugs in my code that I discover by merely thinking about the previous day's work (Rob Pike's "Best Programming Advice" comes to mind). Few things are more satisfying than stumbling on these nuggets! These days, I restrict music to certain times of day, such as my ride home or during certain phases during the work day.<p>3) Found Time at Work Alone: I like getting to work a couple of hours before everyone else, before any distractions kick in. For some of you, staying at work an hour after everyone leaves, lunchtime, or even spending an hour at home to finish things up might do the trick. Those power-charged hours make me feel like I've given that extra bit to my day. On a related note, check out PGs "Maker's Schedule, Manager's Schedule" (www.paulgraham.com/makersschedule.html)

Why is being in love not mentioned? Or sex?<p>Are you just happier being alone?

Surely happiness is relative? I'm sure that many people who we think of as having shitty lives often feel "happy". If you're "consistently happy", then doesn't that just become the norm? To me, happiness is the peaks from the "norm" - if I was consistently happy, then I'd have to re-define what happy meant to me.

Honestly I believe going to the gym every morning M-F is the single biggest improvement to my life. There's something about forcing your muscles into "adapt or you'll fail" mode that has amazing downstream effects on energy levels, eating and digestion, sleeping, etc...

The first two points (waking up early, exercising daily) make me happy, too. Compared to not doing those things, the difference is enormous. I would have thrown 'eating clean' in there as well.<p>The other points I agree with, too. But in my experience the first two points organically lead to the later ones.<p>On a side note: I'm an atheist and raised as such. I don't think guilt, dogmatic thinking, and the fear(!) of an afterlife would be conducive to my happiness. The intersection between The Christian Way Of Life and the OP's original points is so random and incomplete, you could just as well draw a connection to Scientology and be more spot-on (and still–for all practical purposes–not be spot-on at all).

Sound advice, especially the part about having multiple ways to win. I'm happier when I'm more gentle to myself for things I have little to no control over such as winning the startup lottery, ranking high in Google, or physical shortcomings.

I strive for consistent happiness, yet it remains elusive despite my best efforts. I do a number of the things mentioned in the article but they only get me halfway there because I live in an area of the USA that doesn't get enough light most of the year - the Pacific Northwest. Low level clouds completely sap the energy from me and a number of people here, and it is not something that one has much control over.<p>I'm no stranger to light boxes, vitamin D, fish-oil,and anti-depressants, but there is nothing like a bright, sunny day to get my mood up. Unfortunately I can't summon those types of days by sheer force of will.

I would love a view into the self-talk /automatic thoughts that (self-professed consistently) happy people have.<p>What goes through your mind when you are stressed or anxious? What is the immediate, automatic, unblockable thought(s) that come up?<p>What is the first visceral response when you have setback?<p>What is the script that plays when you are exhausted?<p>I think the author's habits are admirable, but also think that they might be symptoms (rather than the cause) of a another form of health - a mind that is filled with patterns of thought that lead to happiness, and I would enjoy seeing into those minds a whole lot. Anyone?

I think there exists a terrible confusion about emotions in general fueled by pop culture. People should understand that emotions are just a form of motivation and not something magical. Unpleasant emotions don't have purpose to make you feel bad, they are here to help you to better adapt to your environment. Pleasant ones mean that you are well adapted. Simple as that. Also I would like to add that on the topic of happiness and other stuff related to positive psychology there is an excellent course from prof. Tal Ben-Shahar.

He mentions regularly helping people and then doesn't mention it in the context of how Buffer makes people happy. It's probably assumed, but worth saying: if you're working at a startup, one of the best (maybe the best) feeling is your users telling you how your work is helping them.<p>It's easy to get caught up in other stuff or forget, but talking to your users/customers and asking them how you're making their lives better is often very revealing and rewarding. It might feel scary/weird to ask, but the answers are awesome.

I can relate to this article. I've found that waking up at 6am and going for a jog was a great way to start the day. Also, as a programmer you can lose all sense of time whilst pounding away at a project. My way of disengaging from that is going to the gym, the cinema or just hanging out with friends. You must be sure to not get lost in the start-up race and do things that have nothing to do with your start-up every now and then at least. Great article!

I think its solid advice on a bunch of things you can do to feel energetic and alert every day. I'm not sure I would have used the word "happy" but the advice is good. I follow similar routines and I found myself feeling fantastic.<p>Occasionally I'll pig out with food, stop going to the gym etc and I notice a huge difference in my energy levels and my motivation towards work and life in general.

I've read many books on happiness. My favorite was the one by Desmond Morris: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Nature-Happiness-Desmond-Morris/dp/1904435572" rel="nofollow">http://www.amazon.com/The-Nature-Happiness-Desmond-Morris/dp...</a>

While I might not necessarily follow these (I'm a firm believer that its your personal duty to find what works for you, and someone else's advice won't help) but it was very refreshing to read this, especially how you laid it all out.

I particulary found Shawn Achor's ted talk on happiness to be the best <a href="http://goodthinkinc.com/speakers/shawn-achor/" rel="nofollow">http://goodthinkinc.com/speakers/shawn-achor/</a>

If you have problems disengaging from your work, I strongly recommend having a go at archery. Focusing on nothing but a spot of gold way down the field does wonders for clearing your head :)

i don't know about having to do all these things every day, but getting closer to your goals, feeling spiritually and physically healthy, and helping others WILL make you happier. regardless of the source that lead you to do it (self help, religion, up-bringing,..). i'd also add meditation to the list.

Kind of reads like blogspam. I'm always suspicious any time someone writes one of these 'n things to x' posts.

I've been pouring in the 16 hour days for a year now and executing well, but neglecting any sort of balance in my life. All the added stress has made me neglect my family and definitely eliminated any personal time.<p>I decided to do something about it in June.<p>Exercise has made a big impact. I started running almost every morning and logging 20M+ weekend mountain bike rides. I've realized that you need to keep your cardio strong and your physique honed or the lifestyle will simply make you pudgy and listless. Great Founders know how to eat right, work out right, and feel right. This is like running a marathon, so you must live your life like a marathon runner. I've also heard that its good to do some sport where you can hit something. Tennis, boxing, hockey, or martial arts, let you hit something hard and get the negative energy out.<p>I used to stay up working until 3 or 4am quite regularly but now walk away from my computer by 1AM so that I can get at least 6 hours of sleep. I think sleep deprivation is a reality for most startup entrepreneurs.<p>If you really want to mess your life up, forget to put your family in the balance. This is your most important asset and precious responsibility. Make sure you focus here and not only give them dedicated time, but meaningful time. I reinstated date night with my wife and I'm trying to make an effort to balance things out in general.