Rejection

My feeling is like that of astrojams', though I wouldn't like to say what particular part of your upbringing or culture leads you to have such a (to me) weird desire to praise the mundane and unremarkable.<p>By your own observation, Alex succumbed to social pressure to overcome his fear of heights. He topped off the event with some damage-limiting self-deprecation. All of that's normal. It wasn't especially brave or ingenious or anything. Maybe now he's made the jump he'll be less worried about it next time. Maybe he won't.<p>Frankly, if you'd gone over and congratulated him, you'd either have embarrassed him (because his dive was so terrible that some well-meaning weirdo felt the need to encourage him) or weirded him out (because seriously, who goes around complimenting strangers?). In the meantime, you're lying (it's not like his dive was actually impressive) and fostering an environment where people get praised for every meagre personal triumph. Please don't do that.

I too have missed opportunities to encourage people when they needed it. I'm more forthright now, quicker to laud others for trying, but I still wince when I think of those instances.<p>The post is well written and the analogy seems appropriate btw. Rejection Therapy has a post on the secret fear hacks of high divers and the golden rule is to never balk: <a href="http://rejectiontherapy.com/fear-hacks-of-world-class-high-divers/" rel="nofollow">http://rejectiontherapy.com/fear-hacks-of-world-class-high-d...</a><p>Alex never balked either. Good for him. Great blog post too.

Whilst I appreciate the encouraging words, this is an incredibly cheesy and highly unrealistic analogy.<p>Again, I get the authors point however the delivery is terrible. The kids post-dive reaction is unrealistic, the kids pre-dive fear is unrealistic. I accept it's just an analogy but the story bothers me.<p>Maybe it's people like me the author is targeting.

Great read. and well writ. I feel that it perfectly sums up what a lot of people go though, myself included. If only we all had the guts to go and congratulate people when they attempt something, and urge them to keep trying. Instead of the oft scathing "constructive criticism" we tend to give, if we even bother doing more than just silent acknowledgement.

Excellent story. This resonates with me very strongly.<p>Social freedom is an amazing trait to have, which you can (I certainly did and continue to) learn.<p>Some of my friends think I am crazy. I think I am socially free.<p>How your inner monologue runs when in social situations, or even walking to the shops for milk, greatly affects how you act.<p>As a hetro man, a classic example is nervousness in approaching a girl on the street you see walk by to find out if you like each other enough for a date or more. Thoughts like "your not allowed to (talk/stop/interrupt/greet) her on the street" and other limiting beliefs that prevent you from taking risks and grabbing life with such amazing force, all because of social conditioning and worrying about what other people will think of you, sucks.<p>Changing how you think, and instead becoming excited at the chance you could be bringing an amazing person into your life is much better.<p>When you realize that thought process exists and work to change it, in my experience, amazing adventure happens.<p>This applies to every aspect of life, from how you treat others, family, relationships, and work.<p>Changes to how you think let you not only take opportunities, but make them.

Ignoring the metaphor for a while, if I'm 16 years old and a smiling guy comes up at me after a dive to tell me that I did a good job, I'm not sure if I'd feel so encouraged. At 12, maybe. At 22, sure. But at 16 years old? No way. Get away from me, old man.