Ask HN: Dealing with unsupportive parents - creating startup

I hate to agree with your parents BUT....<p>If you continue with your miserable job things will take longer, and your job will get in the way from time to time. However you should funnel that misery into motivation into building your app. If you are single, don't have kids you can do this easily, nights and weekends. It will mean giving up some hobbies and not going out with friends but I like your odds. The money you saved should not be spent on living without a job for 6 months, pay someone to help you build your idea. The risk is low as it seems unlikely you would move in with your parents if you had a wife and kids. The flipside of this is;<p>You build your business, you finish it and then... maybe you don't have any customers, or no revenue, and the panic of "I have no job and my product is failing", this is a pretty terrible and terrifying feeling.<p>For the record I've met 2 people who opted for what you are proposing (quit job, work on project full time) and they both went through the panic of "my project is done and I have no or insufficient income!" And what happens if you don't finish? What happens if you hit a snag? Even if you do everything right does not mean you will have enough paying customers after 6 months. I feel like you are setting yourself up for failure without a net. I know it works out for some people, but I'm only playing the percentages here and I feel like you are more likely to be on the losing end.<p>I on the other hand have a wife, 2 kids, am the primary bread winner and have built my project after hours. It has been slow going and I have no revenue. I've lost a lot of sleep. I've struggled with marketing. However I still have confidence in what I'm doing, and while it takes more time for me to make changes and market on my own I prefer being where I am. My only complaint is I can't market much from 9-5. I've resorted to making cold calls at lunch, but I feel like I'm doing the right thing (I don't have much of a choice really with the kids and family, but still). My project may be a total failure but I still have the satisfaction of building something myself without the panic. All I lost was sleep, and time with friends. I have no regrets.<p>For me there will be no dread fueled panic (or panic fueled dread) from the feeling of "I have a project that is not generating enough revenue and I have no job!" Granted I can't afford to quit. But while I've made some unwise decisions in development(learning a new language/framework to build a web app) and struggled with some decisions I don't feel the pressure that those bad decisions ruined me, they were learning experiences. Please do not quit your job.<p>If I can do it after hours you surely can do it. Listing to Rob and Mike from Startups for the Rest of Us podcast, and they both worked on their startup until they had enough revenue to quit. I would trust their advice before mine. Definitely pay someone else to help you, which will move things along faster. You are young and the risks are low, it's a worth while investment.<p>Good luck man, sorry to come out on the same side as your parents.

PROBLEM: No time for your project because you're always exhausted after 12 hours of commuting and work?<p>SOLUTION: Wake up earlier and work on your project while you're fresh.<p><pre><code> 4:00 AM - Wake up, work on project 7:00 AM - Get ready, head into day job 8:00 PM - Sleep </code></pre> I understand (very well) how hard it is to work on a project after 12 hours of commuting and work. That's why working on your project before you go to your day job is so effective.<p>But, it requires a lot of motivation and discipline to sleep and wake so early every day. If you can't handle doing it for at least a few months, while you get your project ready, you probably won't have the drive to do anything anyway.

From seeing your situation, i have some suggestions:<p>first thing. move closer to work, and you'd have saved 15 hrs to put into your project. from what you say, it's right in the face. trying to save few $100's in rent by wasting the time on commute is the worst trade off you are making right now. If you think spending few $100s extra on a place closer to work should be minimal compared to what you think your project is worth. If you think otherwise, i'm not sure how much important this project is to you.<p>second thing. don't speculate how much responsibility you might have. Don't promise on taking responsibility from your manager only to do what you don't enjoy as much; only take what you can at the current work pace. if you are not trying to climb up the corporate ladder, why take more than necessary responsibilities and make your life harder? be an mediocre employee at a corporate entity. Produce 8hrs worth of deliverables every day, be present, and contribute to the job in those 8 hrs, no more. that should work for most corporations.

Sounds like you're living with your parents still. If that is the case, you have to take their wishes into consideration more strongly than you otherwise would have.<p>I would wait until you have some sort of product, even if it's an MVP. Otherwise you could be doing yourself a great disservice - if you do fail, your parents may never support you again.

If the line "in order to live at home" means "live with my parents rent free", you can't do that without their support. If that is the current plan, consider it busted and come up with something else. If, instead, you mean you have six months savings and plan to "work from home" and that home is your own home, you do what makes sense to you and try to not talk too much about it with the parents.