You should not ask for a number of stock options - you should ask for a percentage of the company.<p>In other words the number of stock options you get means nothing unless you put it in the context of total stock options. Its like saying you want 1000 coins and not mentioning the currency.<p>Without knowing your situation - tell them you want market salary and .1-.5% of the company in options. During negotiations value your options at $0 - if they happen to somehow materialize it will be a nice surprise bonus.
How much you ask for depends on your expectations. Generally, they should be realistic. Often, they are not. Google Chefs are the exception.<p>Here's my crude Fuck You Money calculator:<p><a href="http://fumoney.kludgecode.com/default.aspx" rel="nofollow">http://fumoney.kludgecode.com/default.aspx</a>
There is not enough details here. How early, how many key employees and founders are there already. Some of these factors will influence what the typical average are given. Also what location.
I have no real experience, other than hearing about peoples stock options being diluted to become worth almost nothing.<p>I would go for a decent monthly salary regardless of stock options, unless I really understood the ways I could be screwed. If it all goes extremely well then I'd try to negotiate a good salary increase or use the momentum to find a good job elsewhere, otherwise (statistically very likely) I have at least some money in the bank when things turn ugly.