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How I Fell in Love with a Schizophrenic

433 点作者 techdog超过 12 年前

26 条评论

steveklabnik超过 12 年前
There is a person with schizophrenia who posts to HN, who is shadowbanned due to the comments they leave, which are nonsensical due to their illness. Turn 'showdead' on in your profile, then hit <a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=losethos" rel="nofollow">http://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=losethos</a> and now <a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=SparrowOS" rel="nofollow">http://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=SparrowOS</a> .<p>They've been writing their own operating system in assembly for the last few years: <a href="http://www.losethos.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.losethos.com/</a> and now <a href="http://sparrowos.com/" rel="nofollow">http://sparrowos.com/</a><p>For more: <a href="http://qaa.ath.cx/LoseThos.html" rel="nofollow">http://qaa.ath.cx/LoseThos.html</a>
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chernevik超过 12 年前
God bless you.<p>I have worked with people like this, seen marriages to schizophrenics (somewhat less severe that Sally), and seen families supporting children with severe autism. Many of these are wonderful people and you are blessed to be able to see this.<p>But you, yourself, are going to need help to make this work.<p>Doing this for 18 months is one thing but you are going to need to build serious structural support for yourself to make the long haul. Build friend and family relationships where you can talk about what you are going through and which are committed to helping you through it. Make money, save as much as you can and avoid debt like plague, you already have enough stress in your life. Get a life insurance policy, get a will that creates a trust for Sally and receives the proceeds of the policy. If you are of any faith consider building up your church community.<p>You are essentially married to a not-normal person. You're going to have not-normal problems. It's okay to feel sad and tired and frustrated. Have people around you to help carry the load.<p>You have taken on a vocation as mental health advocate and social worker. Case management, navigation of the health system, is actually a profession, if you look around you'll probably find tools and practices to help you deal with the enormous administrative overhead involved with services.<p>Please don't take this the wrong way, but you should go get yourself checked out for psychological and emotional dysfunction. You are clearly yourself not-normal, which is awesome, but take seriously the possibility that you've got weaknesses of your own that need work. If you had ADHD or depression meds would make enormous improvements in your functionality. Even if it's all good, being in therapy, even only once a month, might not be a bad idea. Having a professional who knows you and can spot signs of depression or stress or anxiety could be handy.<p>I can't say enough how much I admire your vision and determination. My apologies if all of this has already occurred to you. Please take care of yourself.
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guylhem超过 12 年前
I'll cast a dissenting opinion.<p>Do you really, honestly think the author will be happy - and for long (say more than 2 years, after the initial thrill of doing something odd and new)?<p>It does not looks like a sane relation to me, but more like a relation based on needs - such as the need to "save" someone (frequent with young upperclass women) or such as a profound emotional need to display love.<p><i>"I'll throw myself in front of a bus for her if she wants it"</i> - this doesn't looks like a good thing to say about a relationship - especially about a relationship with someone hearing voices who might recommend such things.<p>Are normal persons (or life) so boring that one needs to import another person problems - especially unfixable problems given the state of our technology regarding schizophrenia?<p>(my cousin has a severe form and spends most of his time in various institutions)
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kristenlee超过 12 年前
Unfortunately this relationship has the makings of a codependent relationship. When you combine a man who is probably insecure since he searches for dates on craigslist and a woman with a litany of mental issues you generally have a codependent relationship. The insecure man needs to feel "needed" and the women needs to be "saved". Most of these relationships do not end well and lead to long-term unhappiness for both parties.
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mmariani超过 12 年前
<i>No doubt there's a lot of hard work ahead, for both of us. But you know what? I never saw anything in this life that was worth a damn that didn't involve hard work. The idea is not to shun the hard work but to embrace it. Embrace it with both arms, squeeze it hard, and accept it, not with fateful resignation but with the sure knowledge that if you do embrace it, good things will come, eventually. The alternative, giving up, is unthinkable.</i><p>That, exactly that, is what life is all about. If you don't get it don't bother living life until you get it. Simply put, because your existence won't have any meaning to drive yourself through the hard work ahead through the path that will change a life beside your own.<p>To the OP, people like you still give me hope about the mankind. All my best feelings and thoughts will be with you and your beloved one. I'm sure you'll get through that, and live happy. It's just a matter of time.
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giardini超过 12 年前
Be careful who you fall in love with. While it is easy to fall in love with a person who is objectively perfection, it is also possible to fall in love with someone who is deeply flawed. The strength of the bond is no less.<p>Sometimes the old method of having one's parents choose a mate appears to be the better thing. Some cultures will investigate a potential mate's family background several generations looking for physical or psychological problems, thus averting potential disaster or the bearing of flawed offspring.<p>On the other hand statistics show that when love strikes, such marriages last longer and result in more children than arranged marriages.<p>Can you choose who you fall in love with? Likely no, but you can know when it's happening and terminate the process if you see serious warning signs. In this story the warning signs were explicitly posted at the entrance gate.
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cldwalker超过 12 年前
To the OP, thanks for encouraging others to think about mental illness and improving the situation in the US.<p>Side note to others - in my experience with people with schizophrenia, they usually prefer to be referred to as just that, "a person with schizophrenia", not "a schizophrenic". People are more than just their illness.
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agentultra超过 12 年前
Wonderful story, thanks for sharing.<p><i>It's an outrage that a disabled person is expected to live independently on $661 a month.</i><p>Even in Canada where we have social assistance and state healthcare the disability pensions here are abysmal. I spent my adolescent years growing up with a single disabled mother and that's pretty much all she gets to this day; less than minimum wage. If it wasn't for me working long hours after school and the alimony from my estranged father we wouldn't have made it. It's frustrating that she cannot live close to where her primary health care providers practice and cannot even get to them on her own any more.<p>I wish we'd spend less money as a society on jails and war and more on eliminating poverty and researching ways to enhance the human condition.
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Benferhat超过 12 年前
Finding out that someone you already care about has a mental illness is really tough. What do you do? Run for the hills, or stand by their side? If they were <i>physically</i> sick, it would be a no-brainer: it could just as easily be you who's sick with the flu or cancer or what have you, and you'd want your friends to be there for you.<p>But when it comes to mental illness, it's different. Those afflicted are somehow no longer a part of our in-group, and it becomes easier to turn our backs on them. This post is a sort of therapy for me as well, you see, as I've turned my back on two similarly afflicted former friends. Difficult decisions indeed.
subpixel超过 12 年前
One of the most devastating things about this disease is that the majority of its sufferers refuse medication, based on the fear, distrust, and paranoia brought on by their condition.<p>To be sure, medication is not always effective for schizophrenia, but the disease's course without medication is a terrible one.<p>I'm not sure how schizophrenia is handled in other countries, but in the US you can't force medication except in a hospital (often via the ER). And there is a dire lack of facilities that specialize in treating and supporting people with schizophrenia.
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winter_blue超过 12 年前
&#62; It's an outrage that a disabled person is expected to live independently on $661 a month.<p>&#62; It's the kind of thing that makes me ashamed of my own country.<p>I think the author is extremely ungrateful for having been born in a country that even provides _that_.<p>Do you know that _software engineers_ at Microsoft India, yes Microsoft of all places, get paid Rs. 30'000/month ($600/month) when they join in as a trainee?<p>People, we're talking about software developers under the monicker of "trainee"; people who've been through 4-year college _and_ been smart enough to get accepted to Microsoft India (in a highly competitive country) -- getting paid $600/month.<p>This guys has all his facts wrong when he says $600/month is bad in Gabon, and he's being totally ungrateful when he criticizes the U.S. gov. for what they're giving; not showing an iota of thankfulness.<p>Does the author know nearly 50% of children (hundreds of millions of children) in _India_ are <i>malnourished</i>?<p>In India, a completely healthy person who can't find a job, will be left to starve by both government and society. It's a ruthless, cold, heartless nation compared to the government of the U.S. In fact in India, even food meant for the poor is stolen by greedy politicians. It's a terrible country.<p>You should be thankful to be an American, instead of expecting even more from a government that far surpasses most countries in the world in terms of what it does.
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batgaijin超过 12 年前
I highly recommend looking into the work of Paris Williams: <a href="http://brainblogger.com/2012/08/07/schizophrenia-and-psychosis-brain-disease-or-existential-crisis/" rel="nofollow">http://brainblogger.com/2012/08/07/schizophrenia-and-psychos...</a> <a href="http://brainblogger.com/2012/06/23/is-schizophrenia-really-a-brain-disease/" rel="nofollow">http://brainblogger.com/2012/06/23/is-schizophrenia-really-a...</a> <a href="http://brainblogger.com/2012/05/29/full-recovery-from-schizophrenia/" rel="nofollow">http://brainblogger.com/2012/05/29/full-recovery-from-schizo...</a><p>He also has a book called "Rethinking Madness" which is amazing.<p>Basically, there is no medical evidence for classifying schizophrenia as a disease. He believes that it is a state the mind creates for itself when it's surroundings stress the person out too much. There are very high recovery rates for schizophrenia in 3rd world countries, which he believes is due to the lack of medication.
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rikacomet超过 12 年前
My heart felt feelings for you my friend, your that kind of man, which I want to be, someone who has truly lived the saying:<p>Beauty stays till 40-50, Intellect till 60-70, after that, only those who love each other for the heck of it, truly stay happily ever after.
bguthrie超过 12 年前
My late brother-in-law was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder last year. Unstable, paranoid, and off his meds, he took his own life a few months later, still in his mid-twenties. He left a surreal suicide note. His family wants someone to blame. It has been very hard.<p>Thanks for sharing your and Sally's experiences. It takes a lot of courage to do.
imran超过 12 年前
When reading your post it reminded of my own "sally". She is straightforward , kind hearted, truthful, caring etc. When we find such a person in our lives , the love that comes out is purely unconditional! We finally realise that no matter what this person says, looks, behaves, what she does or does not, or if the world may come to an end, no matter what we will love with uncondition love. Its a gift (love) to the pure hearted from god himself!
DanBC超过 12 年前
Thank you so much for having the courage to openly discuss your relationship with a person with a mental illness.<p>Your calm words will, I hope, do a lot to explain what it's like.<p>&#62; <i>I think most guys, on a first date, upon hearing a young lady talk seriously about being visited by aliens, would probably find some reason to cut the evening short. I merely listened. Sally "knew" the alien visitation wasn't real. But it felt real enough to her when it happened. So I asked her to tell me about it in detail. And I listened, without passing judgment. She ultimately laughed the whole thing off, but I knew it was an important part of her reality.</i><p>Talking to people who have hallucinations or who hear voices is sometimes fascinating. Sometimes they start the conversation and you don't know that anything is different, and because they are not lying the story sounds utterly convincing. And then, maybe, some odd details start creeping in. Or maybe the story is about alien visitation and it's obviously not true from the start, even though the person telling the tale it utterly believable.<p>&#62; <i>She didn't know that when a yellow car pulled in front of her on the road, it didn't mean there was danger ahead.</i><p>At their gentlest these paranoias and delusions seem similar to everyday superstitions. I think that's what makes it harder for people to understand just how strong the feelings are.<p>&#62; <i>As a disabled person (who can't work a normal job, because of the severity of her residual symptoms), Sally gets a monthly check for $661. That's it. That's all. No more. Here you go: $661 a month, now go take care of yourself.</i><p>This is the thing I really want to talk about.<p>I live in the UK. We've had a variety of different disability benefits over the years. Unfortunately those benefits have not kept current with modern treatment; nor with modern political directions; and now we're in the unpleasant situation of needing to cut our massive welfare bill, but not having any suitable alternatives for people yet, and not having adequate support for disabled people.<p>For example, in the 1980's people with bad back were told to not move, to lie flat on their back on a firm mattress. Many people were signed off work for years because of bad back. We know now that's terrible advice. If there's no underlying illness causing the backache (and there can be serious illness causing backache) you should carefully take pain killers, and keep moving. Some exercise will help recovery, and some other exercise will prevent relapse. So, now, with bad back you might need a bit of time off work to let the pain killers start working, and then a bit of time to get the exercise going, but then you can return to work full time.<p>Applying that to MH problems we see that people with mood disorders like depression were cocooned away from stress. "Don't go back to work, because you'll trigger another episode of illness". But many people want to work. They do not want to live a life on benefits.<p>Ideally you have a programme that finds people the work they want to do, and then gives them time-unlimited support for that work. That support would be things like helping someone sort out transport; explaining to a boss what reasonable adjustments (a legal concept) means; discussion about difficulties staying in work and how to resolve those; discussion about any prejudice that is happening etc.<p>Such programmes exist, but are patchy and usually <i>very</i> busy with long wait-lists.<p>And because our benefits system hasn't caught up people can get caught in nasty situations. There's a variety of benefit schemes to help people get back into work, but if you're working (even with a severe, enduring MH problem) they might take the disability benefits away from you, which can then shut down other parts of your support network; and which can be very stressful for some people. Coping with complex benefit and tax systems is not helpful when you've just started your first job in 12 years.<p>So, while we have made a lot of progress, there is still a lot of progress to be made. I wish you and Sally all the best for the future!
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_feda_超过 12 年前
Brilliant post kas. I'm impressed by your loyalty and cogency.<p>If the two of you ever considered having kids, there'd be a few things you'd do well to prepare for. I am the child of a severe manic-depressive/alcoholic. I can't begin to tell you the myriad ways this has effected my development, but the influence runs deep and strong. Your children will grow up in an environment of chaos, where crisis is often the default state of affairs. I'm not saying your kids will, in the grander scheme of life, be any worse off for the potentially unstable environment in which they grow, but it can make them feel unusual, left out and alone in comparison to their peers. With any luck, they'll be as well-rounded, if not moreso than anyone else, not in spite of but because of their experiences with a close relative suffering from severe mental illness.<p>I wish you the best of luck and send all my love to you both.
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danso超过 12 年前
Besides the story of unconditional love, I'm completely amazed that it happened through Craigslist, of all the places in which you can meet someone today
jere超过 12 年前
&#62;She didn't know that numbers don't have "assigned colors" to them.<p>For some people (most of them, I imagine, not schizophrenics) they do: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Synesthesia</a><p>&#62;Our meeting was the fluke of the century. I happened to be scrounging around on Craigslist one day looking for a furniture item. Sally happened to be on Craigslist looking for pet supplies.<p>Read: one person was posting to a personals section, the other browsing. Not much of a fluke.
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lustlosigkeit超过 12 年前
My goodness...I am in a similar situation to the lady mentioned in this article, yet arguably more functional, and I haven't even come close to meeting someone who was this tolerant and accepting. Is this guy just very special? I can't figure it out.<p>I alternate between brutal honesty on my condition (the approach of this woman) and hiding it (what I'm going through now), and I'm not sure if it's better or worse either way.
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gcmartinelli超过 12 年前
I recommend to all reading the novella by Machado de Assis called "O alienista" (The Psychiatrist). I couldn't find an english version online, but here is a review: <a href="http://quarterlyconversation.com/on-the-alienist-by-machado-de-assis" rel="nofollow">http://quarterlyconversation.com/on-the-alienist-by-machado-...</a>
jre超过 12 年前
This is an inspiring story to start the new year with. Thank you.
shail超过 12 年前
Now this is the god of love stories. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
yanivfr超过 12 年前
Great story...
michaelochurch超过 12 年前
Good luck, OP. Major props for seeing someone with a horrible disease (that terrifies most people, hence the stigma) as a human.<p>You have a hard road ahead of you. Some advice, from someone with plenty of experience with bipolar disorder (family, romantic relationships, business partners):<p>* Study Eastern approaches to mental health and spirituality. Buddhism will accept you regardless of whether you have any metaphysical beliefs whatsoever. "You may not believe in God, but God believes in you." (Actually, Buddhism is theologically agnostic and compatible with theism or atheism, but that's an aside.) Don't expect miracles, because it takes decades to get good at this and mentally ill people can't "meditate out of" their illnesses, and but the insights into the mind from meditation and yoga can help both of you.<p>* You both should avoid all recreational drugs, including alcohol and tobacco. Both of you. Normal people can use drugs like psilocybin, marijuana and LSD with low levels of risk. You can't. Even if you're neurologically normal, your circumstances are abnormal and these drugs are unpredictable even in the best circumstances.<p>* You have hard travels ahead of you. It's probably good, even if your mental health is totally normal, for you to see a therapist.<p>* Exercise. It won't always clear everything away, but it will make the situation better.
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ctdonath超过 12 年前
$661/mo<p>Just throwing money at someone with a tenuous grasp on reality is not kindness. More won't help.
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