An Honest Apology

I don't want to stake this girl up, but honestly, she should produce something that anyone cares about or shut up and go away.<p>There's qualified people out there she basically stole from. Stole jobs that should have been theirs, stole attention that could have been directed to something legitimate...<p>You don't get to apologize for stuff like this and have anyone care, you only get to overcome it. So until she has something to show us, I'd prefer not see her around.

Forgive. Half of Americans think it's okay to imprison suspects for life without evidence, to kill suspects and their families in drone strikes, and many well-respected tech companies do all sorts of grievous harm. No apologies. So maybe with that in mind we shouldn't judge this individual so harshly.

Context: <a href="http://techcrunch.com/2012/08/28/talented-shirley-hornstein/" rel="nofollow">http://techcrunch.com/2012/08/28/talented-shirley-hornstein/</a>

So I'm honestly a bit confused here. She pretended to be friends with a bunch of Silicon Valley celebrities through Photoshop, and people threw money at her because of that, and people are mad at her because she was lying and wasting their money?<p>It would be an incredibly boring story of overly rich people who should know better being scammed, except insofar as it shows some unsavory aspects of how Silicon Valley is set up.

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." - Friedrich Nietzsche

It's terribly sad that even in her process of reformation, she is still seeking approval and validation externally. The only person she needs to prove her worth to is herself.

I don't understand why would anyone care or make a big deal of it.<p>There's no difference between someone with a fake photo near Justin Timberlake and a real one. It's not an achivement. It's not a sign of success. It's nothing. The whole idea of "startup cred" gained by having photos of you around important people disgusts me to no end.<p>Fruitful interactions matter. Posing in photos does not. If you infer something from someone being on a same photo with someone else, you are the problem, not Shirley.<p>I see this as a sign that most people in the "Scene" are empty extroverts too busy making impressions to make any real things happen. So you measure each other by a number of "important" people you talked to.

I truly despise that attitude of "it worked for me for so long, why not keep doing it?". Pushing boundaries is one thing, maybe "hacking" your way to a single opportunity can be viewed in the light of experimentation, but being a serial deceiver is no way to live a life.<p>I hesitate something like that to be instantly apologized away. We all fall down, we all make mistakes. Learn from those mistakes instead of trying to just get by.

This is interesting to me for one reason: the need to apologize.<p>My, perhaps heavily biased, impression is that this is a typical American thing. I mean, what are the odds that all those people who did bad things (or things considered as bad) feel truly sorry? E.g. Lance Armstrong.<p>Why not be honest and say "I lied"/"I cheated", "deal with it"? That would garner more respect from me than an apology that is going to sound false.

Narcissists don't feel guilt, only shame<p>From TLP:<p>"But I want to change, I want to get better."<p>Narcissism says: I, me. Never you, them.<p>No one ever asks me, ever, "I think I'm a narcissist, and I'm worried I'm hurting my family." No one ever asks me, "I think I'm too controlling, I'm trying to subtly manipulate my girlfriend not to notice other people's qualities." No one ever, ever, ever asks me, "I am often consumed by irrational rage, I am unable to feel guilt, only shame, and when I am caught, found out, exposed, I try to break down those around me so they feel worse than I do, so they are too miserable to look down on me."<p>If that was what they asked, I would tell them them change is within grasp. But.<p>"So all is lost?"<p>Describe yourself: your traits, qualities, both good and bad.<p>Do not use the word "am."<p>Practice this."<p>- <a href="http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/01/can_narcissism_be_cured.html" rel="nofollow">http://thelastpsychiatrist.com/2009/01/can_narcissism_be_cur...</a>