What Do You Tell People You Are?

Depends on who it is.<p>Cute girls, I'll usually say something to get a reaction, like "I have a technology company. You know, on the Internet." When they follow up with, "Like what?" The response is "Mostly porn." If they take me seriously, they're probably not going to get the real explanation, anyway, so I have a little fun with the porn explanation, making it more and more outlandish until they realize I'm joking. I often tell myself that this is merely for amusement, and that what I actually do for a living is not far more embarrassing (due to being really boring to most people) than running a porn empire.<p>Other technology people, "I started a company that builds systems management software for web hosting."<p>Regular folks, "Computer stuff." Very similar to vasudeva's response. The only flaw in this tactic is that every once in a while, you'll meet someone who <i>also</i> does "computer stuff" (or their nephew or son or cousin does), and they'll want to "talk shop" about their website where they sell their knitted dog hats, or whatever MLM scheme they've most recently signed up for that includes a website. Or ask me ridiculous questions about hacking GMail or facebook or something equally retarded (depending on age and demographic).

I usually just tell people I'm a programmer. If you say you're a writer, that tends to provoke some people into an attempt to discover whether you're "really" a writer, which in their minds equates with making your whole living from it. Despite the prevalence of open source, this sort of person tends to believe that no one would write code except for money, so they'll usually take your word for it if you say you're a programmer. Even though in fact I make some money from writing and none from programming.

"I write software" is typically where I start and if the other person wants more information we can go down the rabbit hole from there.<p>Funny story though, my wife and I are friends with Eric Meyer (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Meyer" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Meyer</a>) and if we're in a group and other people ask him what he does, my wife jumps in and says he fixes printers. You should see his face :-)

I write code.<p>Some people think that diminishes what I do. I don't just sit at a computer and type code in from start to end. I have to plan, design, revise, and test. I have to read and criticize. I have to consider very high-level structures and very low-level structures. Therefore, I should say I do something much grander than "write code." Something about "science" or "engineering."<p>It's surely not science. Calling it "engineering" would be fair. Sometimes I do. I don't see what's wrong with calling it "writing," though. After all, don't I write code principally for other humans to understand, and only incidentally for machines to execute? Writers plan, imagine, write, revise, test, and rewrite. Writers read and criticize. Writers consider high-level structures and low-level structures. Writers produce rivers of words one afternoon and struggle with a single line the next. Writers excise large sections of their work with mixed feelings of triumph and regret.<p>Writing code is what I do. If the language had evolved differently, I would be proud to call myself a "code writer" or simply a "writer." The closest equivalent seems to be "programmer," so that's what I call myself. Or, on my resume, as a concession to corporate dullness, a software engineer.

Funny, I was just referencing this issue the other day.<p>When people ask me what I do, I say "computer stuff", and occasionally I'll lift my hands and kind of type at a non-existent keyboard. They invariably go "oh" -- to date, not one has said "ok, but what KIND of computer stuff?" which would be my own personal response.<p>This tells me I'm either consistently gauging their level of computer savvy pretty accurately, or that occasionally I come off like a bit of a dick. YMMV.

He forgets to mention "Computational Mathematician". Computer stuff is more often like math than it is like science. Out of math, science, and engineering, I would say it is like science the least.<p>I hereby request to be called an "applied computational mathematician".<p>Although, often I get the feeling that I am a sort of wizard in training; constantly learning new spells (programming techniques) to apply to new situations. So I will also accept "apprentice computational warlock".

I always tell people I'm a programmer. I don't really like terms like "software engineer" or "architect".<p>This is largely because I think programming needs to stand on its own as a discipline. Sometimes I think people are worried that they'll be perceived as "merely a coder", so they play up the non-coding aspects of their jobs in their titles. Personally, I don't know a single programmer who "merely codes", and I rarely encounter a coding project that I'd use "mere" to describe anyway.<p>I also avoid the term "engineer" because I don't want engineers to start thinking they have a claim on programming, especially with regard to these PE initiatives in software engineering. Maybe this is because I was a math major, but these people worry me.

I tell people I'm a computer programmer, most of the time that's enough. Sure, that doesn't really tell them what I do, and sure, their eyes would glaze over if I talked about debugging or memory management, but so what? I don't really know what a brain surgeon does (besides 'operate on brains') and my eyes would probably glaze over if one started going into details of how they choose which scalpel or the details about _why_ they work on a particular brain.<p>Any complex job will be largely incomprehensible to people not in the field, if you think otherwise, there is a good chance you don't know how much you don't know.

I usually say something like, "I'm a programmer. I make apps for the iPhone." As soon as I utter the word "programmer", I can see the light in their eyes begin to fade - but mentioning the iPhone brings them back and suddenly I'm a person with a cool job. The nice thing about being an iPhone dev is I can avoid the usual "computer stuff" response that results in doing tech support because people don't realize that the iPhone <i>is</i> just a computer platform. :) I also have the advantage of having previously worked for Tapulous (as one of the original employees, actually), so people who have an iPhone/iPod have almost universally heard of Tap Tap Revenge - which has/had a little of my code buried in there somewhere.

I think he's greatly overestimating how well people understand engineering jobs. Half the time when I tell people I'm an electrical engineer, they go, "Oh, like an electrician?".<p>Also, I've never met anyone outside of engineering who knew what a P.E. license is.

I start off by saying "I work in IT for an investment bank", which usually ends up with bewildered looks.<p>Then I say "I fix keyboards and mice for an investment bank", which usually ends up with some nervous laughs (some get it, some don't).<p>Then I say "I write software that run electronic trading systems, like stock exchanges". That's when most people get it. The others tend to think the finance world ends at their ATM.<p>Recently, the last sentence has ended up with dirty looks from those who probably think that people like me caused the current global recession. At this point I usually say something like "I don't work in credit derivatives".

Surely the entrepreneur's answer to "What do you do?" is "Whatever it takes!"

I usually tell people I'm a programmer. Sure, it doesn't sound as nice as "Software Engineer", but it gives most people a decent-enough idea of what I do - I sit in front of a computer and make software.<p>It doesn't matter than people don't know exactly what I do day-to-day, since the same thing is true of almost any other profession.

I just tell people I make the websites.<p>As a joke, I make developer and pornographer interchangeable. Too bad I don't do back-end work.

Once I tried to chat up this girl in a party. I told her that I'm a programmer and her response was, "you're what? a problemmer?!"<p>These days I just tried to avoid the subject. It's lots of fun to talk about technology with hackers. With other people it's actually one of the worst topics to bring up.<p>If people ask, I say that I'm a technologist. If they press to know what it is that I actually do I tell them that I talk on the phone a lot, and sometimes write emails, which is partly true and something almost anyone can relate to. Then I change the subject.

I've always gone with the domain, rather than the task.<p>Me: "I build medical instruments"<p>Them: "Oh." sometimes followed by "like what?"<p>Me: "Blood test machines"<p>Them: "Cool. You like football?"<p>Most people have little idea what a computer programmer does. But they can understand that when a nurse takes their blood it goes into an instrument that measures different things about it and that's good enough for them.

I tell people I am a Software Developer. I'm not a programmer, though software development occasionally requires programming. I certainly don't say Software Engineer, because what we do doesn't resemble engineering, no matter how much adherents to various methodologies say we do.

If they look like they'll be remotely interested, I give them an actual quick description: "I run a business that sells websites to video game players."<p>On the other hand, if I don't really want to talk with them, I'll just give them the ol' "I'm a programmer."

Careerwise, I answer "programmer, for TV news systems". That seems to work pretty well.<p>When explaining my hobby, "programming" seems to generate strong associations to Excel for some reason, so I usually answer "mathematics" instead.

I used to say "I work for a financial software startup." Then it was "I'm starting a web software company." Now it's "I work for Google."<p>The latter seems to be by far the most effective explanation.

Sometimes I tell people I run a small business. I've done that many different things though, I'm not always sure what I do these days!

"I'm currently making cartoons" sums it up pretty much.<p>I really don't want to get into the specifics because you then see people's eyes glaze over.

I tell people I am a "Professional web surfer."

It is just me, or do the capitals in the title sentence make it really difficult to comprehend? (just curious)

I'm a runner. But what do you do to make a living. Computer stuff, sometimes, I'm not really good at it.

Professionally, I am a Software Engineer. Otherwise, I am a nerd.

I say "I make computers do what other people want them to do".

Engineer by training, entrepreneur by affliction.

Fancy typist.

Software Engineer.

I just tell people I invest in startup companies or that I don't really have a job.

Everything you had wanted to be :)