I have been fired as a co-founder of a now very successful startup company that I have spend all my energy and time building.<p>And after being fired, I took full-time programming jobs on 3 other companies that eventually fired me and leave a very bitter experience and now so reluctant to take new jobs because I'm afraid that it would turn out to be the same fate as my past 4 work.<p>And everytime I got fired, I gradually lost my heart on software development.<p>Now I'm not finding any work and would like to start my own software company, but I'm still carrying this heavy burden of loss and failure in my heart, and just want to do nothing and lazily lay in my bed.<p>Any advice?
You're using very emotionally loaded words and have made repeated decisions in the short term that have led to very negative results. This is the time to get help from an external party that can maintain sufficient objectivity, privacy and perspective to help you steer a clear course until the extraneous factors that are distorting your option-evaluation-algorithm subside. To that end, I suggest food, sun, sex, sleep and whatever else you deny yourself when it's crunch time. If you are good enough, the opportunity is coming and this is waiting for the cusp to ensure right action. If not, then it is time to make peace with mediocrity.
In your opinion, are you being fired from these companies as a result of your depressed mood, or simply because you weren't delivering on the work you were being asked to do?<p>If it's the former, take a break! Read, travel, and give your mind some fodder for creativity, and later on, inspiration.<p>If it's the latter, perhaps you might consider the fact that computer science might not be your calling. If you like working for startups, maybe you should try moving into a related field like product development. Who knows, maybe you'll find your true passion, the one that tickles the fancy that programming seems to be missing.
How many confidants do you currently have? Friends that you can and have trusted with anything.<p>You need to find an intimate community of people to connect with. Someplace with members who are ready and willing to welcome new people and support them.<p>It sounds like your problems are a little bigger than having lost interest in programming. Having a personal support network is where you need to start if you're going to do something as ambitious as starting a company again.
Do you think you are clinically depressed? If so, you should talk to a psychiatrist.<p>If you simply feel unmotivated, the keefe's suggestions are probably good. You might also want to consider whether programming is really what you want to do. You might be very good at it, but not enjoy it. If so, are there other things you could do and enjoy more?
Loss of interest in something that previously gave you pleasure<p>Loss of motivation<p>Feelings of failure<p>Withdrawing from society<p>Recent adverse life events<p>Take some time for you. Consider seeing a therapist. (cognitive behaviour therapy should be a short course of about 8 weeks.)<p>Find a small tiny project that you want to do. Spend time investigating areas of programming that you haven't tried so much before.