Radical Honesty: I Think You're Fat (2007)

I can say, w\o hyperbole, that radical honesty ruined my life. Do not, I repeat do not believe that people are generally good, want to help you, will appreciate your honesty.<p>Now, I didn't do anything stupid like telling my boss that I'd like to sleep with his daughter, but, when he asked me where I saw myself in 5 years I did say that I wanted to start my own business.<p>Our relationship went from great to icy.<p>Over the next seven months my work life became a living hell. I went from "valued team contributor" to "does not function as part of the unit." My dedication was called into question and eventually I was told that the company had changed and that I was no longer useful.<p>I wasn't fired, but, I was left alone in my office, no new tasks were assigned, my medical condition was not accommodated, etc.<p>I eventually left my position, lost my gf because of it, ruined my credit after I couldn't find a new job, and have been unable to get loans to return to school (after leaving to help out my former employer.)<p>I often wonder what my life would be like if I had just said: "In five years I see myself working for you with only a slight raise!"<p>Don't try this at home.

I think in some sense that Blanton is advocating an intellectually lazy kind of radical honesty. It's not communicating to excrete whatever verbalizations come to mind because there is no one thing on your mind. You are forced to censor, or at least edit, what you say, by the limitations of the channel.<p>The real value, I think, in honesty, is that it brings one's thoughts out in the open to work with, instead of sapping one's energy and directing it towards the construction of some facade.

AJ Jacobs writes really cool 'project' pieces: he dedicates himself to an idea and writes articles and books about it. I loved "A year of living biblically" and am hoping to read "Know it all" sometime soon.

Print Link -- One page, mostly text: <a href="http://www.esquire.com/print-this/honesty0707" rel="nofollow">http://www.esquire.com/print-this/honesty0707</a>

Funny video about this guy's attempt to run for congress.<p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx-OVdTkwvA" rel="nofollow">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gx-OVdTkwvA</a>

I hope someone else can remember this, but wasn't there a link around here recently (possibly elsewhere) about how it was speculated that the ability to lie was thought to distinguish us from other animals? That is, lying is a concept associated with intelligence?<p>Of course, I could be wrong, and am merely trying to make a point without standing behind it, so that I can avoid the humiliation of being called out on it.

My hunch is that this is a charismatic (evidence: he's fucked 500 women) guy telling everybody "be more like me." That reminds me of somebody I used to work for who would say things to people that would have gotten me fired or beaten up in the parking lot, but he got away with it because he was charming.<p>So what happens when somebody with average or sub-average charisma tries it?

I don't think so. I view people around me as animals, a part of natural environment (like trees, rocks, water).<p>I am dedicated to _always_ play a role. Just like I wouldn't go and jump from a bridge to defy gravity I wouldn't say "God doesn't exist" to my mother, who is a fundamental Christian. I am not particularly scared of consequences of saying "fuck you, pig" to a policeman but I'm also not scared of banging my head against the wall. Yet, I don't see any particular reason why I should bang my head against the wall.<p>I like PG's essay "Things you can't say" since it describes me so perfectly. Inside my mind anything is allowed, even the most perverse and horrible fantasies -- ANYTHING. Yet, not much of this goes outside :)

"when he [your boss] asked me where I saw myself in 5 years I did say that I wanted to start my own business... Our relationship went from great to icy."<p>hmm... if you're in Silicon Valley, it's assumed that everyone wants to start his/her own business.