In my opinion it comes down to this, Do you want to play the game, or do you want to change the game.<p>If you want to play the game, Sure, be a jerk, be the biggest sociopathic jerk you can be, stamp your feet when your timelines get pushed back, force your subordinates to work extra hours, yell at anyone who breaks the build. It's the way the game has always been played.<p>Or you could change the game. Be the humble, helpful leader, be steadfast and nurturing, look at your employees as investments, because thats what they truly are, you are investing your product, your time, even your value into them, so they better damn well be worth your emotional efforts. Be the leaders that you see that are Charismatic and optimistic. But don't expect it to be easy.<p>For some of us, being the jerk is harder.