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Never Be Intimidated

130 点作者 nancyhua大约 11 年前

32 条评论

ChuckMcM大约 11 年前
That was an interesting read, I can&#x27;t figure out if she believes it or not.<p>The people I&#x27;ve met who were easily intimidated by wealth, power, intelligence, or money seem to share a common fear of being judged. Clearly just anecdotal evidence is useless here but the heart of the intimidation on those people (when I asked about it) was fear that they would be judged and found wanting. That fear intimidates them, not the intelligence or the power or the money.<p>As a random part of my life growing up I spent quite a bit of time in Las Vegas (there is an Air Force base there). And people living there had a really non-chalant view of money, after all you could be down to your last quarter, play it and suddenly be up a few hundred thousand dollars. It didn&#x27;t &quot;mean&quot; anything, so having it or not having it didn&#x27;t &quot;mean&quot; anything. But I went to school in LA and in LA it seemed that having money &quot;meant&quot; you were better than people who didn&#x27;t have it. Which I rejected out of hand, after all I knew people who were complete scumbags who happened have a ton of cash back in Vegas, so clearly there wasn&#x27;t a correlation here. But for the folks who had grown up believing in that correlation they were out to &#x27;get money&#x27; so they could improve their standing in society. And <i>that</i> I found a very crazy notion indeed.<p>So the author is intelligent and she understands that she had nothing to do with the particular gene mix that brought her particular brand of intelligence out. That&#x27;s great, some folks aren&#x27;t so lucky and they fear being judged as &quot;dumb&quot; or simply &quot;not smart.&quot; Is that wrong? Well I certainly consider it wrong to judge someone that way. But are they wrong for fearing they will be judged that way? Probably not, there are plenty of people it seems who would be more than happy to point out to them a relative deficit in IQ. Is that healthy? No of course it isn&#x27;t.<p>So at the end of the day when I was feeling crappy because I had been teased at school for asking &quot;stupid&quot; questions like how birds fly upside down. My Mom would say &quot;Oh honey, they are just jealous.&quot; Which, while I&#x27;m sure she meant well, didn&#x27;t really help me with how these &quot;jealous&quot; kids seem to be looked up to by others and I seemed to be looked down upon by them. Thus I can&#x27;t see how telling someone who is feeling intimidated to not feel that, really helps all that much.
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fchollet大约 11 年前
OP makes some really smart points, but I can&#x27;t shake the feeling that they&#x27;re living in some kind of alternate reality fundamentally different from mine. Yes, if most people around you are very smart, or very wealthy, then intelligence or money are not really defining characteristics anymore. Intelligence and money define you in as much as they are vectors of power, but how much power they bring you over your environment is directly a function of how much <i>more</i> you have than others around you. When everybody possesses these things equally, they don&#x27;t confer you any power over others anymore.<p>Yes, it&#x27;s true that in the science-fiction world described by the OP, which might become a reality in 200 years, or maybe not, intelligence and looks will have been commoditized and won&#x27;t mean much anymore. In exactly the same way that in the post-scarcity economy (if such a thing is ever to be), money won&#x27;t matter anymore. But that is not the world we live in. In my world, really smart people are extremely rare, and they hold enormous power over the world due to their understanding, learning and problem-solving abilities. Wealthy people are few (the 1.5%) and possess monstrous power over the 98.5%. Just what kind of fairy tale does OP live in? Is SV really such an alternate reality?
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wavesounds大约 11 年前
&quot;Wait til I get my money right, then you can&#x27;t tell me nothin, right&quot; - Kanye West<p>&quot;Cash rules everything around me&quot; - Wu-Tang Clan<p>In America money rules everything. Anyone with an Ivy League education and access to Billionaires obviously is not going to be intimidated by other status symbols.<p>It&#x27;s only the people who need access who are intimidated by the gatekeepers.
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joesmo大约 11 年前
Most modern men cannot run a marathon. Physical strength is still quite useful. Based on such principles, it&#x27;s no wonder the author delves into ridiculous banter about singularity. At least she could have gotten some basic facts straight.
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kenjackson大约 11 年前
Honestly I didn&#x27;t really get this article. It seems to make ad hoc distinctions for traits based on some possible future reality, that may occur after we are dead. And none of it relates to why people get intimidated.
angersock大约 11 年前
tl,dr: future so bright we&#x27;ll need shades, so let&#x27;s pretend we care about other things--after all, all us rich people will be unable to signal using our jetpacks and bodymods anymore!<p>&quot;<i>Now when I meet someone with intelligence, beauty, or wealth, which is basically everyone in the post-singularity society of Silicon Valley, I automatically delete those qualities from my perception of their Real Identity. I still recognize intelligence, etc. as a property they possess, but I don’t define them by it.</i>&quot;<p>is this person as insufferable in real life as she is in her writing?
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ozy23378大约 11 年前
This text is nothing more than an aspirational humblebrag: &quot;Look at me, I am so intelligent and have so much access to intelligent, wealthy, attractive people that I don&#x27;t have to care about intelligence, wealth and beauty any longer! I have become blind to such superficialities and am now closer to enlightenment than any of you!&quot;<p>Furthermore, for someone with a &quot;Bachelors [sic] of Science in Writing&quot; her writing is remarkably poor (e.g., &quot;A millennia ago&quot;, &quot;Lamborghini’s&quot;).
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quarterwave大约 11 年前
Consider John Wayne&#x27;s advice in &#x27;The Shootist&#x27;: It&#x27;s not always about being fast or accurate, it&#x27;s about being willing.<p>Add another quote (from Feynman): you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool.<p>Now no one can intimidate you.
_xhok大约 11 年前
Didn&#x27;t see much of the title in the article. Also, while I agree with most of it, this part seems to be the most important:<p>&gt; <i>I try to define people by their ambitions, creativity, drive, perspective, attitude, inspirations… that soft gushy core inside the genius billionaire playboy. Love, values, interests, goals.</i><p>After an article about how intelligence, prestige, and beauty don&#x27;t matter, what <i>do</i> you define people by? I&#x27;m not seeing the pattern here. What ties these things together?<p>I&#x27;m not sure if this is what you&#x27;re trying to say, but the only message I&#x27;m taking away is: the traits people traditionally respect don&#x27;t matter as much as they think.
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ngpio大约 11 年前
A response to Jamil Elie Bou Kheir&#x27;s comment on Facebook (presumably jamilbk on HN), because I do not have Facebook:<p>&gt; hello from hacker news. thoughtful article! i think it&#x27;s not the mere intelligence, beauty, or wealth that defines someone. perhaps it&#x27;s the reasons and difficulty through which they are achieved. suppose i endure years of hardship and suddenly, in a flash of creativity, uncover a specific life path which i choose to follow. if the journey down that path necessitates an increase in intelligence, then wouldn&#x27;t that conscious pursuit of intelligence qualify as a viable aspect of my identity? similar points can be raised about beauty and wealth.<p>&gt; accordingly, i think no real identity is assumed when an individual gets these things &quot;for free&quot;. enthusiastically expressing one&#x27;s beauty, intelligence, or wealth that have existed since birth (or a lucky event) is actually rather distasteful... so yeah delete those qualities kthx.<p>You&#x27;ve made negation your identity the same way that others define themselves through beauty, intelligence and wealth. This is neither unique nor particularly useful, and I&#x27;ve found it to be generally unhealthy.<p>Entrench yourself in any region&#x27;s activist scene and you will be surrounded by this mentality. Despite being a higher level abstraction than beauty, intelligence and wealth, it is equally commoditizable given enough time and positive feedback. For instance, consider the phrase &quot;social capital&quot;.<p>The original post does not strike me as a rejection of one end of an axis in favor of its converse. Rather it is a dismissal of the axis itself, of an entire model of thinking, its conclusion resting in rational, subjective passivity. To ascribe any particular aesthetic about how things &quot;should be&quot; or how people &quot;should act&quot; is to miss the point.<p>I would summarize the original post&#x27;s conclusion thus: stop projecting; question abstractions; remove inconsistencies from the bottom, up.<p>That conclusion invites a plea. We all have a utility function, and it will eventually fail; how do we best extend its (and our) relevance, and do we even want to?
adventured大约 11 年前
The entire article is built around a false premise: that we&#x27;re all going to be genius supermen, and struggle with what to identify ourselves by.<p>Another major thing from the article that is false, and destroys the conclusions that rest upon it: intelligence, wealth and beauty <i>used</i> to seem like notable qualities.<p>It&#x27;s fitting then that the 2014 SI Swimsuit edition just came out. Remind Kate Upton that beauty isn&#x27;t a notable quality. I can&#x27;t figure out how someone like that makes millions of dollars off a non-notable commodity.<p>The author seems to suffer from an intense privilege bias. Try telling someone in Romania that wealth isn&#x27;t a notable quality, and they will laugh in your face.<p>Intelligence has been commoditized? John Carmack, to name one very easy example, proves that isn&#x27;t true, and isn&#x27;t going to be true in our lifetimes.<p>A millennia ago the strongest person was also the richest (because the &#x27;dude&#x27; could bop you on the head and steal your cow apparently)? What? That&#x27;s not even remotely historically accurate. Now strength doesn&#x27;t even matter! Well yippee, we&#x27;ve all been liberated from our primitive past, apparently. Unless of course you&#x27;re one of the hundreds of millions in China, or billions globally, that still use physical labor every day to earn a living. Again, intense privilege bias.<p>The only thing this article has going for it, is an appeal to emotion: it&#x27;s the type of world the author wishes exists, but in fact does not.
unoti大约 11 年前
&gt; &quot;For me, maturation has been a series of realizing what doesn’t matter.&quot;<p>Best part of it, for me! I recently realized that I&#x27;d be way ahead of the game if I had a garage full of cans of &quot;Don&#x27;t give a fuck&quot; and could just open one up whenever I need it. All kinds of things I get hung up on would stop holding me back.
mathattack大约 11 年前
Many financially successful people are socially awkward. This gets amplified by people putting up a barrier because of the intimidation. This manifests itself in CEOs who lose contact with new hires in their firm, and famous speakers standing alone before their presentations. In this case, the level setting behavior is being the person willing to make contact, whether it&#x27;s via small talk or something they care about.<p>The original article is interesting. I wonder if the author is willing to not just go beyond things like physical appearance and intelligence, but to also ignore them entirely. (Are the first two &quot;necessary but not sufficient&quot; or just &quot;unnecessary&quot;?) My experience in life has been the former, not the latter.
sakura_k大约 11 年前
Also, get a writing sample from them. If the word &quot;I&quot; dominates the single-word histogram, run like hell. (OP fails magnificently).
mark_l_watson大约 11 年前
A good read. This article resonated with me because my Dad is a member of the national academy of science, and I grew up around lots of very well known and successful people. This exposure to famous and gifted people early in life really helped my career since I usually felt comfortable just walking up to people in power and talk with them and potentially increase my network.<p>BTW, I had never read any of Nancy&#x27;s stuff before. I also really liked <a href="http://nancyhua.com/2013/02/05/what-to-work-on-when-you-dont-need-to-work/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;nancyhua.com&#x2F;2013&#x2F;02&#x2F;05&#x2F;what-to-work-on-when-you-dont...</a>
hellbanned_大约 11 年前
A rich daddy&#x27;s &quot;nerdy hehe&quot; girl manifesto on how she goes out with male models and doesn&#x27;t feel inferior to them? This is just wrong on so many levels. As someone who has developed social anxiety because of spending most of my life in poverty and the stigma that you have to bear with it, especially as a child, I&#x27;m rather offended by this.<p>I know you guys like to upvote pretty much anything done by a girl because of some twisted gender equality quota, but why is this here exactly?
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adamzerner大约 11 年前
&gt; I still recognize intelligence, etc. as a property they possess, but I don’t define them by it.<p>Why not? I think that what you mean by &quot;define&quot; is that something matters to you. Why wouldn&#x27;t intelligence matter? Whether intelligence means knowledge, aptitude, or rationality, Don&#x27;t those things make someone more pleasant to be around? (sorry if I misunderstood what you&#x27;re saying)
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vayarajesh大约 11 年前
Very interesting, however i think intelligence is not only related to knowledge but it also resembles how a person thinks and that thinking leads to all the factors you look into a person like ambition, creativity, inspirations etc.<p>I think intelligence(not only knowledge) as a bigger definition is one important quality i look into a person.<p>I too agree completely that money, beauty do not matter as they are just attributes
forgottenpaswrd大约 11 年前
Saying that intelligence, fitness or any other quality does not matter is living in the future, in an alternate universe.<p>Probably it won&#x27;t matter in the future, but it matters today.<p>Probably in the future it won&#x27;t matter, but if the future is 100 years from now it is not a good strategy to live your alternate reality until then.<p>Just believing that technology alone will solve all the problems looks naive to me. Imagine for example that a dictator, like Castro could modify their genome with very expensive treatment for living young forever. This does not mean the people he forbids earning more than 20$ a month(everybody in Cuba) will.<p>Of course, if he does it will be because &quot;he cares so much about his people&quot;, or the revolution, not because he wants to, like any other dictator or person in power, they will justify maintaining their power over anyone else.
spiritplumber大约 11 年前
Corollary: If you have the chance, be a little intimidating, and note the other person&#x27;s reaction.
elwell大约 11 年前
What category does HN karma fall into?
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polarix大约 11 年前
&gt; Love, values, interests, goals.<p>Perhaps names for one&#x27;s negotiation of:<p>- scarcity of imagination and desire<p>- scarcity of attention and perspective<p>- scarcity of social context<p>Even in a post-singularity post-material-scarcity society, under the assumption that all direct desires are met, these tensions remain.
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li-ch大约 11 年前
The premise is false: with all the technologies, she still looks ugly.
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sneak大约 11 年前
...except there are different kinds of intelligence.<p>Some kinds are commodities, no doubt.<p>Then there&#x27;re the kinds that tell you WHAT you should be studying. That&#x27;s a horse of a different color.
tool大约 11 年前
From the FB comments: &quot;Jamil Elie Bou Kheir hello from hacker news. thoughtful article! i think it&#x27;s not the mere intelligence, beauty, or wealth…&quot;<p>Caused me to cringe, now not only calling yourself a hacker is a commodity, but if you can&#x27;t stretch that far, just declaring that you read hacker news gains you status?<p>Not pretending like this site is an exclusive club, but c&#x27;mon.
sidcool大约 11 年前
&gt;Intelligence, beauty, and wealth used to seem like notable qualities, but now they’re commoditized by technology<p>Very well put.
ajju大约 11 年前
Excellent read. Perhaps &quot;Intelligence is a commodity&quot; would be a better title for it.
hrjet大约 11 年前
I read this several decades back but it has stuck with me:<p>Attitude, not aptitude, determines altitude.
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szany大约 11 年前
What makes ambition&#x2F;creativity&#x2F;drive&#x2F;perspective&#x2F;attitude&#x2F;inspiration any more intrinsic than intelligence&#x2F;knowledge?
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nickthemagicman大约 11 年前
What about the ambitions, creativity, drive, and inspirations of a fat balding unsuccessful guy?
notoriousjpg大约 11 年前
So until the point of asteroid harvesting we have a reason to be intimidated?
elwell大约 11 年前
I liked the article.