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I am not an introvert. I am just busy

298 点作者 mtabini大约 11 年前

44 条评论

peteforde大约 11 年前
You know, there&#x27;s a time and a place for quiet reflection. If the author needed time to reflect, he should go for a walk — alone, not go to a party.<p>I&#x27;m a shy introvert, but I see this fellow&#x27;s problem a mile away: he needs to get better at saying no to people. Sure it&#x27;s important to be present for social functions, and there&#x27;s an art to &quot;making an appearance&quot; that is just part of playing the game. But if you&#x27;re consciously aware that you should be somewhere else... GO.<p>A room full of tech geeks will get this. Actually, they most likely won&#x27;t notice that you&#x27;re leaving. That particular neurosis is rooted in ego: part of you wants someone to notice that you&#x27;re missing, so that you can be not just doing something important but be a hero about it.<p>Deep down, we&#x27;re all frequently irrational in similar ways.<p>&quot;I don&#x27;t want to be alone, but I want to be left alone.&quot; - Stephen Fry
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alex_c大约 11 年前
I love the writing, I love the anecdote, and I love the self-awareness it shows.<p>Almost just as much, I love the comments here - they&#x27;re just so incorrigibly HN. Not everything is a problem that should be taken literally, dissected, and solved. The story is not the author asking for help with enjoying parties, relating to others, or troubleshooting bugs. It&#x27;s a beautiful example of an internal monologue that shows not only how people approach social situations differently, but to what extent they <i>think</i> differently. I&#x27;m not sure the author needs any of the pseudo-analysis being offered to him (however well-meaning it is) - the writing suggests a lot more awareness of his perspective and that of the people around him than most of the comments rushing in with the most literal interpretation.<p>Either way, great piece of writing that seems to hold a mirror up to the reader more than anything - it clearly strikes a chord but each reader appears to be taking away something different.
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jxf大约 11 年前
This story reminded me of the &quot;Why you shouldn&#x27;t interrupt developers&quot; cartoon: <a href="http://i.imgur.com/PtMx9GJ.png" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;i.imgur.com&#x2F;PtMx9GJ.png</a>
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kabdib大约 11 年前
My personal theory: For something really hard, you have to put in your time and think about the issue. It has to consume you. You can&#x27;t hold decent conversations. Eventually that janitor in the back of your head wanders up to your mental whiteboard, looks at the problem, says &quot;Harumph!&quot; and scribbles down an answer, and you wake up in the middle of the night with the answer <i>so obvious</i> and a shriek on your lips.<p>But there aren&#x27;t any shortcuts, and the janitor is not at your beck and call.
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jamra大约 11 年前
I would like to see this story rewritten from the point of view of a super hacker who likes to visit bug lists, track down the programmers assigned where they work, and psychologically hack those programmers into finding the solution. He protects his identity wearing only a hoodie.
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austinhutch大约 11 年前
I&#x27;m an introvert and that doesn&#x27;t prevent me from enjoying parties and being sociable. It irks me when introvert is used as a pejorative or like it is something people have to &quot;cope&quot; with.
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chaz大约 11 年前
&gt; Are they actually talking to me? Unbelievable. I can’t talk, Dan; can’t you see? I’m hanging to this idea by a thread as it is<p>My problem with this story is that it makes it sounds like it&#x27;s Dan&#x27;s fault for walking up to the author at a party&#x2F;social event. We&#x27;ve all been there -- an all-consuming problem or an unexpected moment of clarity. Or maybe you realize something that puts you into a sour mood. We can&#x27;t expect those around us to be mind readers.
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rip747大约 11 年前
I think the take away is that sometimes you can&#x27;t see the forest through the trees, so look at the sunset.<p>When I&#x27;m working on something and I just can&#x27;t figure it out, I take my dog for a walk and hold some ridiculous one-way conversation with him. Yeah I know I must look like a manic talking to an eight pound pomeranian, but the point is to put your mind completely somewhere else. It&#x27;s amazing how the solution just appears when your mind isn&#x27;t engulfed in the problem.
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scoofy大约 11 年前
If you look on your phone, you might have a little app called &quot;notes.&quot; I use that and still have a great time at parties.
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pdpi大约 11 年前
Nope, sorry, you&#x27;re wrong. You are the exact definition of an introvert. You&#x27;re in a social environment, surrounded by other people, and instead of interacting with others, you&#x27;re lost in thought about something else entirely.<p>Just wikipedia it: Introversion is &quot;the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one&#x27;s own mental life&quot;. That exactly describes the behaviour you&#x27;re relating. Now, being an introvert isn&#x27;t a problem, but that title tells me that you&#x27;re no so much concerned about introversion being a problem, as you are about grandstanding and making your &quot;busyness&quot; mark you as important somehow.
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Gigablah大约 11 年前
There&#x27;s a difference between being &quot;busy&quot; and being &quot;self-absorbed&quot;.
pbhjpbhj大约 11 年前
My mother still recounts that at primary school (5-11) all I&#x27;d did is day-dream all day and they could never get me to do any work. That&#x27;s not strictly true of course - I was reading &quot;top class&quot; books when still in infants and was never challenged by the maths we did, taught the teachers about electric circuits (perhaps they were just humouring me).<p>One of my favourite things to do is simply sit and stare out the window, or sit on the stairs but I&#x27;m always thinking about something. Always inventing something in my mind or doing some gedanken or other.<p>I wish this had been recognised as indicative of internal complex state rather than laziness and vacuity and then I might have been encouraged towards developing those thoughts properly.<p>... but then I&#x27;m prone to blame external forces for my failings.
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castlegrove大约 11 年前
I totally get this. As one who works in a coworking space I have to fend off people all day. I love to talk, but not when I&#x27;m trying to write code. Some people don&#x27;t realize that headphones are the universal sign of &quot;I&#x27;m busy&quot;.
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sudhirj大约 11 年前
What doesn&#x27;t seem to be coming through here is the power of the subconscious to pattern match and work on problems independently of our main heads. The way this guy figured out the solution to his problem was by observing another person&#x27;s behaviour in an elevator, which matched a pattern in his mind.<p>aStimulus is often a good thing. I&#x27;ve actually found watching a lot of unrelated everyday interactions helps with designing systems.
cgriswald大约 11 年前
Fantastic read. I&#x27;m not a fan of the labels introvert and extrovert as they apply to people. However, I think as they apply to behaviors they are useful, and I found the fact that you didn&#x27;t advocate for yourself to get out of there (possibly even at the expense of being rude) to be a bit introverted. Same with the idea that you usually &quot;blow it&quot; during conversation. (Alternatively, perhaps I am asocial.)
intull大约 11 年前
This is one of the best articles I&#x27;ve read for situations like those. I fall into such situations every now and then! And I&#x27;m going to pass this on to my friends as a &quot;nice article&quot;. ;)
shakeel_mohamed大约 11 年前
&quot;Seriously, who wears a hoodie at an office party?&quot; - As the only intern in a small office, I did it last year :) (Partially because I was forced to go)
sakura_k大约 11 年前
~(introvert || extrovert). Or perhaps a better definition is that there is no common mutex for introverts and extroverts. Or we&#x27;re all a little introvert and all a little extrovert.<p>Introverts are powered by self-reflection and alone time spent understanding the things they love. Extroverts are powered by spending time with other people and reflecting on what they love. Most of us are a linear combination of the two. I&#x27;m about a 0.6i + a 0.4e (factors subject to change; some amazing people&#x27;s factors add up to 1.0; warranty void where prohibited).<p>Introversion and extroversion aren&#x27;t necessarily a dichotomy and aren&#x27;t anything to apologize for. We partake of these modes of socialite as life permits. If you&#x27;re binary on the scale, great - that helps other people understand you. If you&#x27;re analog on the scale, great, you can help others understand you where you are currently.
kirab大约 11 年前
Actually it’s obvious that the author is an introvert. It’s just the negative connotations which make him deny it.
AdrianRossouw大约 11 年前
I&#x27;m in a situation now where I might end up taking my first office job in more than a decade.<p>I&#x27;m actually kind of worried that the impact of having other people around will significantly limit my productivity. The few times I have gone to a remote office to do some work, I really suffered with the open plan situation.<p>I have to make a conscious effort not to be gruff and terse with my SO when he breaks my concentration, and I outright love him. I have to remind myself that other people aren&#x27;t able to perceive what is going on in the virtual world.<p>Maybe it will work out fine, but in all honesty having to commute and be somewhere every day at a certain(ish) time is probably what&#x27;s going to kill the experiment for me, not the other people.
Kronopath大约 11 年前
This is why I used to carry around a pocket notebook with me at all times (nowadays I use the Notes functionality on my smartphone). Managed to figure out the solution to a problem I&#x27;ve been struggling with? Got a sudden flash of creative inspiration I don&#x27;t want to forget? Need to remember to do some chore later on this evening? Pull out the notebook and pen, quickly write it down as best I can, then put the notebook back in my pocket and return my focus to what&#x27;s going on around me at the time. That way I can put that idea out of my mind, returning to it when the situation is right.
kirillzubovsky大约 11 年前
I just want to say, love the writing style!
mvkel大约 11 年前
I never understood why being an introvert is looked at as a negative, like the last thing you want to be is an introvert.<p>If this piece is this guy&#x27;s inner monologue, he&#x27;s an introvert. If he&#x27;s incessantly focused on _things_, and people seem to be a distraction from that thing, that&#x27;s a pretty big indicator of an introverted personality.<p>Extroverts can&#x27;t _help_ but think about connecting with people. They thrive on it. They&#x27;re people people.
sukuriant大约 11 年前
So, this guy went to a social event that he didn&#x27;t want to go to because his mind was on work things and had been for a long, long time.<p>[edit] I&#x27;m taking the stance that there was a good reason for his going. Otherwise the question is just &quot;why did he go?&quot;[&#x2F;edit]<p>Why wasn&#x27;t he in the moment at the party? I suppose there&#x27;s several reasons. I&#x27;m going to assume he was having a great time, someone that he was talking to left and then he wandered back into thought rather than going off to talk to someone else. That&#x27;s fine, whatever. So, now I wonder where I&#x27;m supposed to go from here with this piece. The thing is this can&#x27;t be about are getting flustered at people for interrupting your thought. It doesn&#x27;t look like it. Therefore, I&#x27;m going to assume it&#x27;s something like I&#x27;m doing right now: stream of consciousness. If that&#x27;s the case, then, neat! I&#x27;ve been there! Very cool. Sorry it got awkward for you there. The other guy is a CEO, he understands being in thought all the time. &quot;Just one sec, I gotta write this down&quot; and then scribbling a bunch of notes wouldn&#x27;t be too offensive to a man in charge of a whole company. He&#x27;s done it plenty of times, and those ideas come at any random moment. I wouldn&#x27;t be offended by a brief scribble before some proper salutations. After all, that CEO has now been given your undivided attention after about 5 seconds of scribbling (presuming you can write something short down that can be used to jog your memory). People like undivided attention. Makes them feel important, be they your boss, co-worker, friend, spouse or child.<p>Now, what is this story being used for. &quot;I am not an introvert. I am just busy.&quot; No, you&#x27;re not busy. Or, at least, your busy-ness shouldn&#x27;t be with work things right now. You&#x27;re at a party and should be in party mode with your friends. It&#x27;s kinda like a father going home and saying he&#x27;s going to spend time with his children, only to completely space out when he&#x27;s playing catch. His mind should have been on his children. Your time is with your friends, there. Not giving them your attention is rude to them. &quot;I am not socially awkward &#x2F; going through the motions. I had a sudden thought I need to write down &#x27;real quick&quot; but that wouldn&#x27;t be as catchy of a title.<p>There&#x27;s those little notebooks that fit in front pockets that people buy and carry around. Maybe this is what those are for; or, as someone else in this thread pointed out, that&#x27;s what the &#x27;notes&#x27; app on your phone is for. I&#x27;d honestly not considered that is a reason, or if I have, I just re-realized that&#x27;s what they can be for. Anyway,<p>We can take this to some other situations where it wouldn&#x27;t be acceptable to be sucked into this train of thought: a meeting about a different feature at the job you&#x27;re working at. They want you present on their tasks, too.<p>Live in the moment, be that completely absorbed in your current work task, or hanging out with your friends, laughing about stupid things, or hearing a friend talk about his story.
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griffinheart大约 11 年前
There was never a time that a &quot;F*ck this, i&#x27;m going for a drink&#x2F;dinner&quot; moment didn&#x27;t help me solve a problem.<p>What i feel is that after grinding on a problem for a while we get tunnel vision, the only way out of that, for me, is to turn off and go do something else.
notlisted大约 11 年前
Replace &#x27;CEO&#x27; by &#x27;my wife&#x27; and you have my life. It&#x27;s difficult to explain apparently, but me sitting quietly in my underwear in the office chair staring at the wall on a Sunday morning doesn&#x27;t mean I&#x27;m not busy. Those pancakes can wait.
markbnj大约 11 年前
You seem too anxious. I don&#x27;t know about you, but once an idea occurs to me about what might be causing a problem, there&#x27;s zero chance of forgetting it. You should have just enjoyed the party. After all, the ROI on the relaxation had just gone up significantly.
randac大约 11 年前
Jot some notes on the back of a napkin and the issue becomes less of one. The real problem, as others have said, is agreeing to things that you would rather not go through with... Now, that I can sympathize with. Not least because I struggle with it too.
PhasmaFelis大约 11 年前
I honestly can&#x27;t decide if being like this would make me more happy (because totally dedicated to something that fascinates me) or less (because can&#x27;t enjoy personal time for itself).
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drivingmenuts大约 11 年前
Well-written article. I can relate (I often zone out at social gatherings that I don&#x27;t exactly know if I could skip out on, which is most of them).<p>Amazing how much bike-shedding is going on here.<p>Or perhaps not.
inquist大约 11 年前
I have a similar bug. But I was able to code a workaround so the original leak has still not been found. Good news is it&#x27;s not causing any problems :)<p>Sometimes it just needs to work.
iamthepieman大约 11 年前
I enjoyed reading this. I don&#x27;t normally like stream of consciousness writing but this was catchy.
robbiea大约 11 年前
Love the writing style of this post. He may be in an introvert but he&#x27;s a damn good writer!
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zwieback大约 11 年前
Nice story, please ignore all the whiner comments.<p>What I want to know is: did your inspiration help fix the bug?
hessenwolf大约 11 年前
Very entertaining. Virginia Woolf stream of consciousness in a socially anxious situation.
1602大约 11 年前
No, woman, no cry. Just be in a present moment and everything is gonna be alright.
chris_mahan大约 11 年前
This is why I always carry a small notebook in my back pocket. And pens.
dsschnau大约 11 年前
That was a wonderful little story. I really enjoyed it.
frade33大约 11 年前
the title is now my twitter tag line, thanks for that. People often accuse me of being introvert, while I am shy of telling them the truth ;)
dave_chenell大约 11 年前
This is perfect
mello151大约 11 年前
I thought it was just me...
tdsamardzhiev大约 11 年前
No, you are an introvert.
thenerdfiles大约 11 年前
I know a developer who once walked over to a business analyst to ask about an interesting ID in our database. She chatted with him for a bit, drew her question, then they bantered some.<p>At the end of it, he recalled the interesting ID that she originally queried about, as they conversed, told her, then as she passed on to her next endeavor, her closing comment was, &quot;Now let me try to remember that number all the way back to my desk.&quot;<p>Now granted, this is just an ID — not a bug, an &quot;idea&quot; or something embedded in some complicated (dis)array of logic — but she engaged the person whom she asked, and through human interaction and grace, the two pulled out an answer together. Then she took it in strides that <i>memory is up to her</i>.<p>I remember when I used to be more like her — and less like this antihuman, perpetually brooding, code-distressed, oh-can-you-leave-me-to-my-precious-mind sob-story archetype that you rage-hackers (again perpetually) perpetuate.<p>Why do we romanticize this? It&#x27;s becoming obnoxious — <i>the glorification of obnoxiousness</i>. Your mind is <i>your</i> garden, and no one owes you peace of mind. And if people wish to browse <i>your</i> garden, you should be absolutely fucking thrilled.<p>Why are you propping up and romanticizing this &quot;do no enter&quot; sign at the entrance of your gardens?<p>You know — there&#x27;s a Java dev here that often times will start off an interruption with, &quot;How can I provide you with outstanding customer service today?&quot;<p>How about this? Forget your &quot;engineer&quot; metaphor. Forget your &quot;prodigious self-torment&quot;. If you want to fold to the Machines — that&#x27;s YOUR M.O. Stop sharing with piss about it. Stop <i>whining</i>. Our job has one distinct role, and that&#x27;s to protect EACH OTHER from this massively complicated world of machines. Do your goddamn fellow human a favor, and pay more attention to HUMANS than you do machines.<p>Maybe your life will be filled with more spontaneity, warmth, and gifts — because all a fucking computer is going to give you is rules. One key subcomponent of our job as developers, programmers, etc. is Customer Service and that&#x27;s because <i>humans first</i>.<p>Why else is &quot;human-readable&quot; a thing?
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puppetmaster3大约 11 年前
Opposite is also true: I have nothing to do, let me call a meeting a blowhard.