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Founder Depression

493 点作者 RRiccio将近 11 年前

52 条评论

EvanMiller将近 11 年前
Dig deeper, Sam.<p>Achievement-oriented people are given to depression both when they fail and when they succeed. If your identity is tied up in your work, then you feel bad about yourself when work isn&#x27;t going well. That&#x27;s obvious, and that&#x27;s the message of this blog post. The implicit message is that you&#x27;re depressed because you&#x27;re not succeeding, so get your shit together and succeed and be happy like everyone else.<p>But then if you do succeed, you start to wonder, why did I just spend my youth in this masochistic, narcissistic path, and why the fuck am I not as happy as I was expecting, and is this really all there is in life. This is a classic &quot;achiever in crisis.&quot; The problem is that you realize all along you&#x27;ve been doing things that OTHER people wanted -- that is, you&#x27;ve been doing things that make you valuable in society -- perfect summed up in the raison d&#x27;etre du jour, &quot;making the world a better place.&quot; And nobody stopped you, because who can argue with making the world a better place? (Or being a doctor, or whatever.) But upon reflection, you quickly realize that this was in many ways easier than asking yourself what YOU wanted out of life. I.e. you&#x27;ve pushed aside your innate feelings and desires, whatever they may have been, and replaced them with the external motivation of achievement, under the rationale that you&#x27;d be able to &quot;figure it out&quot; after you had &quot;made it&quot;.<p>Unfortunately achievers aren&#x27;t really sure what they want &quot;deep down&quot; because achievement is inherently defined by society, and then after they&#x27;ve &quot;made it&quot; they freak out because they start to wonder if there even is a &quot;deep down&quot; or if they&#x27;re just a highly educated donkey chasing a carrot.<p>If you talk to e.g. people who&#x27;ve gone through rigorous Ph.D. programs, you&#x27;ll find a number of them were severely depressed after their defense. It was just kind of a let-down after such a long buildup, and then they started to wonder why they invested the entirety of their twenties into it and question whether that&#x27;s really what they wanted their life to be. At least before the defense they could have something look forward to, and the various requirements provided a source of manic energy to propel the achiever forward.<p>Anyway I don&#x27;t think the problem here is &quot;not enough success,&quot; and I don&#x27;t think the solution is having more coffee meetings. Founders need to take a hard look in the mirror and ask themselves why they&#x27;re doing what they&#x27;re doing and whether their depression is truly a function of their free cash flow or if there&#x27;s a deeper dissonance between the founder&#x27;s feelings and the expectations of society, i.e. the heroic mythology of the founder that Silicon Valley has been inculcating in susceptible teenagers for the last 20 years.<p>Just my 2c. I am not a founder just an observer and aspiring societal psychiatrist. If you want to learn more I highly recommend &quot;The Wisdom of the Enneagram&quot;:<p><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Enneagram-Psychological-Spiritual-Personality/dp/0553378201" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;Wisdom-Enneagram-Psychological-Spiritu...</a><p>It looks a lot like astrological pseudoscientific trash but read it and see if things in it resonate with you.<p>Ok back to work.
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earbitscom将近 11 年前
Am I qualified to chime in? We just shut down today after 4.5 years. ;)<p>This is very true, and unfortunate. It makes it easy to feel like everyone is being successful except you. I realized this a couple years ago and, when talking to other founders, I just stopped sugar coating things about my situation. I would tell them about our struggles, what was going on, and its affect on me. I don&#x27;t think I&#x27;ve ever been brought to tears as many times as this year. It is super painful, but lying about it is bad for all involved. You can&#x27;t get the support you need, nor provide proper support to others.<p>I can definitely vouch for the dark days. I feel fortunate to be an eternal optimist who knows these things are temporary, but the startup lows are about as low as they come. On top of that, you have things like breakups, family emergencies and other tragedies that are already hard enough to deal with when you are not nursing a struggling company. When those things hit at the same time, it can feel impossible to do anything.<p>Seriously, as a founder, find a few people you can really confide in and do so. And, don&#x27;t be afraid to say things aren&#x27;t going well. You never know what people can do to help. On that note, though today isn&#x27;t the best day for me to cheer up others, I&#x27;m available to chat for any founder going through dark days. joey@earbits.com
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pbiggar将近 11 年前
&gt; You’ll also be surprised how much you find other founders are willing to listen.<p>This is super important. Non-founders often will not get it, in my experience. If you haven&#x27;t started a company, you often will not have experienced the intense ups and downs, and just how fucked everything can be, even when you pour your life and soul into it, and that there really can be a light on the other side of the tunnel.<p>One brief tip: it is OK to give up your startup - don&#x27;t feel that you can&#x27;t.<p>If you&#x27;re in a dark place, do take up the kind offers that people are making in this thread. (I&#x27;m paul@circleci.com if you want to chat, and I&#x27;ve publicly fucked up one startup, so I understand.)
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njloof将近 11 年前
My first thought on reading this: &quot;Great, but who <i>shouldn&#x27;t</i> I talk to?&quot;<p>I&#x27;ve known founders whose VCs took their &quot;down&quot; moments as weakness. They &quot;helped&quot; them dilute to pave the way for future takeover. They exploited founders&#x27; weakness and talked about them behind their backs. Who can you really trust when you <i>and</i> your company are at their weakest?
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robg将近 11 年前
The latest brain research is showing two powerful trends worth talking about in any conversation among friends and advisers:<p>1) The key role of sleep appears to be flushing toxins from the brain: <a href="http://news.sciencemag.org/brain-behavior/2013/10/sleep-ultimate-brainwasher" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.sciencemag.org&#x2F;brain-behavior&#x2F;2013&#x2F;10&#x2F;sleep-ulti...</a><p>2) Sleep disorders appear to precede mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression: <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2012/03/30/health/conditions/sleep-apnea-depression/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.cnn.com&#x2F;2012&#x2F;03&#x2F;30&#x2F;health&#x2F;conditions&#x2F;sleep-apnea-...</a> <a href="http://www.adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/sleep-disorders" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.adaa.org&#x2F;understanding-anxiety&#x2F;related-illnesses&#x2F;...</a><p>Your brain is your performance and health computer. Please remember to take care of it.
tossmeaway将近 11 年前
Father died in final year of college. Only child moved home to mourning mother(of course!) Went on huge sarge to find a women. Did side work, but focused on 2nd startup(1st one in back of my mind to reboot.) Failed. Arrogant and never found a full time job. Was in love and my girl needed to marry to stay in country. She was fine I thought while i went after my dreams. Finally found my 3rd idea and was working on skills. Eventually wife lost faith and cheated(multiple times and not just sex on one, successful man.) Found out, blew my retirement(roth) I made working when I was younger on booze. Lost faith in myself, saw no point in my great idea, mother attacks, no real man to fend off. Sleep in a truck, brain so fried from settling divorce and lack of self confidence or a dime. Idea still viable, even after all this time, timing might be right. &quot;If you are going through hell, keep going.&quot;
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mclenithan将近 11 年前
I worked up the restaurant industry, opened my first restaurant in 2007. Second in 2009. In 2009 I was 24.<p>Leased the first location, bought the second for about $2 mil, ($100k down)... Economy took a crap, road work, city restrictions, f<i></i>king Denny&#x27;s decided to open right next to my first location. I closed in 2010. Sole-Proprietor. Combine taxes, bills, loans, etc.. I was looking at around 1.5 mil in debt. I had $400 about at the time. The newspaper had me front page for closing, social media blew up, everyone wants to know wtf happened.<p>I made ALOT of mistakes, not saying I am a complete victim but it hurts... REAL bad. So I ran and hid. Couldn&#x27;t own a bank account, had to move. All those &quot;friends&quot; ain&#x27;t friends we you are in the gutter. Worked random jobs just to eat and pay rent on a shared room in a new town. Decided to code because it looked better than my bartending&#x2F;sales jobs.<p>Learned code and now in the industry. Its fun to hear people get VC help, a co-founder, community support, nothing really on the line but other peoples money and time. Not saying that it&#x27;s everyone or even the OP, but things could be sooooo much harder when falling from grace. When you get on your knees in front of all your staff and beg the power company rep not to shut off the lights, you are pretty close to that wonderful feeling. &quot;Run it till the wheels fall off..&quot;
coffeemug将近 11 年前
I&#x27;ve been to some really dark places and back. If anyone needs to talk, shoot me an e-mail -- slava@rethinkdb.com. I&#x27;ll buy you coffee, listen, and try to help you find a better place.
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kyro将近 11 年前
Can someone provide insight on life after a failed startup, in terms of career prospects? Often depression can make you feel as if you&#x27;re failing on all fronts, that nothing will get better in the foreseeable future. Most of the time that really isn&#x27;t true. You&#x27;re often stuck in a temporary rut that your mind drastically exaggerates. But for a founder who&#x27;s going through a dark time and whose startup ultimately fails, is it easy to pick yourself up again? Can you realistically transition into a more stable job where you&#x27;ll have more energy to improve your life? I&#x27;ve heard from quite a few that the years spent on a failed startup do not improve your career options, and for a founder that may find themselves depressed running a company, I can&#x27;t imagine such poor prospects lending any hope.
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logicallee将近 11 年前
You can&#x27;t afford to follow this advice. Saying you&#x27;re crushing it is part of your 24&#x2F;7 job description.<p>There is a story of the founder who had just put a round together with a VC. Then, privately, the founder confided to a mutual friend, over dinner, about some of the difficulties. Result? The friend told the VC, the VC pulled out, and cited this conversation, saying that it was because his mutual friend said the company was having difficulties.<p>You can&#x27;t afford to talk.
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hkmurakami将近 11 年前
While the situation is most acute for founders, I feel that the general situation is true for most if not all professionals with strong aspirations.<p>You can&#x27;t show weakness in public (web) for fear that a potential employer will flag you. You can&#x27;t express your lament to many coworkers since it can come back to bite you.<p>Non-founders generally aren&#x27;t subjected to the kind of lows that founders are, and have more room for camaraderie and confidants. But no matter who we are, it seems that were need to put on an air of invulnerability, and this bothers me immensely.<p>(And in general, I play the game as well)
shantanubala将近 11 年前
If anyone feels like they need someone to talk to, send me an email (in my profile).<p>If you&#x27;re in San Francisco, we can also get coffee.
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gregorymichael将近 11 年前
I&#x27;m a developer with bipolar disorder. I gave a about it last year at Business of Software called <i>Developers, Entrepreneurs and Depression</i> that some founders have found useful:<p><a href="http://businessofsoftware.org/2013/11/developers-entrepreneurs-depression-a-wonderful-talk-at-business-of-software-conference/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;businessofsoftware.org&#x2F;2013&#x2F;11&#x2F;developers-entrepreneu...</a>
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trevmckendrick将近 11 年前
It will go a long way to have more people like Sam say &quot;it&#x27;s okay to talk.&quot;<p>It&#x27;s not like people have to open their souls on their blogs.<p>But when high profile individuals like Sam &quot;proclaim&quot; that it&#x27;s okay to talk about this, somehow it feels a lot safer to open up to people in person.<p>Especially if they&#x27;re in a similar situation.
mrev19将近 11 年前
Try dedicating your life to music its freakin brutal. Write some songs and go sing em in a public forum, thats some serious vulnerability. Not saying its tougher than being a founder, but no way the opposite is true. Anyway my point is that these days many people who are attracted to being founders tend to be shocked by the costs because they don&#x27;t have the natural temperament to sharply veer from the path of established norms. Many don&#x27;t believe in something greater than themselves or money which would allow them to suffer the pain as a cost of doing business. This is a given in the arts. Its like the marines, pain is part of the practice.
holri将近 11 年前
Greek philosopher Epiktet has the solution. From <a href="http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;classics.mit.edu&#x2F;Epictetus&#x2F;epicench.html</a>:<p>The Enchiridion<p>By Epictetus<p>Written 135 A.C.E.<p>Translated by Elizabeth Carter<p>1. Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.<p>The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed.<p>Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved.<p>Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, &quot;You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be.&quot; And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you.<p>[...]
georgewfraser将近 11 年前
Another good resource is the classic &quot;Feeling Good&quot; [1], which describes basic cognitive behavioral therapy in a self-help format. It&#x27;s old but good and has been validated in clinical trials.<p>[1] <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0380810336?pc_redir=1402628516&amp;robot_redir=1" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.amazon.com&#x2F;gp&#x2F;aw&#x2F;d&#x2F;0380810336?pc_redir=1402628516...</a>
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wting将近 11 年前
&gt; If you ask a founder how her startup is going, the answer is almost always some version of “Great!”<p>This is not founder-specific but a fairly typical American greeting. &quot;How&#x27;s it going?&quot; &quot;Pretty good, you?&quot; &quot;Not too bad, how &#x27;bout the weather &#x2F; sports team?&quot;<p>By comparison, the next time someone initiates the standard greeting try responding with something out of the ordinary. &quot;I&#x27;m having a difficult time with foo&quot; or &quot;My wife and I just did this&quot;. Breaking the pattern will result in a lot more meaningful conversations.
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mindcrime将近 11 年前
I can definitely relate to this. There are definitely times when it&#x27;s hard to talk to anybody... and I don&#x27;t know about you guys, but with some topics I actually find it harder to talk to someone I know, than, say, a random stranger at a bar. Luckily I have at least one or two friends, who, for whatever reason, I can talk to about &quot;founder depression&quot; issues more easily than other people. Strangely enough, it&#x27;s not even that they&#x27;re my <i>closer</i> friends, they&#x27;re just people where the nature of the relationship feels &quot;different&quot; in some subtle way.<p>I also find that being more frank, than is probably expected, on forums like this is somewhat cathartic. If you were to dig through my old posts (don&#x27;t waste your time, it&#x27;s not actually <i>that</i> interesting) you&#x27;ll find my admitting to suicidal ideation, and talking openly about how I think I&#x27;d off myself in the &quot;doomsday&quot; scenario. I hope it never comes to that, and I doubt it will, but something about this almost pseudonymous forum leaves me feeling more comfortable about saying certain things. This is true even though my &quot;real life&quot; identity is clearly spelled out in my profile and is trivially easy to find. <i>shrug</i><p>Anyway, I&#x27;m no mental health expert, but if anybody just needs a friendly ear to listen to them vent, feel free to give me a shout. If you&#x27;re in the RTP, NC area, I&#x27;m happy to meet for coffee&#x2F;food&#x2F;drinks or whatever. Email and contact info in profile.
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ibisum将近 11 年前
On the flipside of this is the fact that, as a founder, you are a clear target for subconscious repression by <i>everyone</i>, thanks to the tall poppy syndrome. So, many times, discussing the issues and problems with others is precisely what you <i>shouldn&#x27;t</i> do, because you will trigger the syndrome.<p>Its very important, thus, to have established trust with your support network <i>before</i> you go into the founder seat. If you don&#x27;t have a support network that consciously navigates around such things as TPS and mobbing-mentality, then you&#x27;re going to be in for a hard time. The fact of the matter is that humans are subconsciously hard-wired to dissent against organizational structures requiring hard work and honest production, and a founder getting up there on the hill and attempting to work hard and produce new things needs to understand that the most difficult thing about organizing humans, is humans.<p>Disclaimer: founder who just went through all of the above, and still working hard to survive in spite of it all.
5943d536-f360将近 11 年前
I wanted to chime in here to whine about my founder problems (loneliness, destruction of personal relationships, total chaos in one&#x27;s life, no time for oneself etc) and I realized that I can&#x27;t even anonymously talk about this without feeling like a spoiled entitled brat. I feel that no matter how much I lose to this absurd path I&#x27;ve forced myself into, I still have no right to complain about it, otherwise I&#x27;m obviously not &quot;founder material&quot;.<p>I think to myself &quot;Well, I&#x27;ve certainly turned my life into a clusterfuck, but at least I&#x27;m not like some of these guys who went bankrupt, couldn&#x27;t afford medical for their children or who died from overworking. Can&#x27;t really complain, right?&quot;<p>I guess I find it very hard to whine about my struggles and all the fuck-ups when it&#x27;s self-imposed martyrdom. Nobody asked me to quit my cushy 6 figures 9 to 5. I was miserable at it, but doesn&#x27;t mean I needed to do a startup instead.
arnonejoe将近 11 年前
Dear Sam,<p>It&#x27;s interesting to hear you speak about founder depression as you sit on top of the world.<p>Our team, openhospital.com, interviewed at YCombinator 6 weeks ago for the current batch and we failed (rejection email below). The $1100 interview reimbursement we received from YC only covered 1&#x2F;3 of the cost of the trip and the time&#x2F;energy spent applying could have been time and money spent coding and developing our product (and paying rent).<p>In the last 7 months I&#x27;ve managed to burn through my 401k from years software engineering jobs in pursuit building a cash medicine marketplace. I barely have enough money to pay my rent next month. In a desperate attempt to find capital, I also charged a trip to San Jose on my credit card 2 weeks ago to knock on doors up and down Sand Hill Road.<p>If you or anyone on this forum is interested in starting a cash medicine marketplace there is an opportunity to change the world and this needs to be done. Ironically my wife has horrible stomach problems and I spent two hours calling GI&#x2F;colonoscopy doctors trying to find a cash price as I will be charging this on my credit cards as well.<p>I am desperate to start this and I don&#x27;t care if I end up with 1&#x2F;10000th of founder ownership at the end. We have a working provider site with several providers (18k lines of code). The other engineer on my team is smart (Stanford educated) and an awesome co-founder to work with.<p>Am I depressed? Yes. Am I giving up? Never.<p>My contact info is joe (at) openhospital.com if you Sam or anyone on this forum would like to chat.<p>Joe Arnone Founder OpenHospital.com<p><a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/d0jz58wmd8ynsup/Photo%20Apr%2026%2C%206%2002%2038%20PM.png" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.dropbox.com&#x2F;s&#x2F;d0jz58wmd8ynsup&#x2F;Photo%20Apr%2026%2...</a>
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mikeleeorg将近 11 年前
When I first became a manager at a large corporation, I often felt stressed out and alone. So a year into it, I created an informal &quot;support group&quot; of other new managers. We&#x27;d trade stories, tips, and beers.<p>This was nowhere near the pressure of founding a company, but I took that experience and created an informal support group of founders amongst my colleagues too. It didn&#x27;t last unfortunately, but I later got into an accelerator and found the same support group.<p>No matter what the cause of your stress or depression, having a good support system is extremely helpful. It ranges from Mommy&#x2F;Daddy groups to AA to even a single good friend.<p>Unfortunately for many people, it&#x27;s very difficult to find and&#x2F;or build a support system.<p>P.S. I vaguely recall seeing an organization (maybe a startup) listed on HN that basically helped people find someone to talk to. Anyone remember the name?
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paul9290将近 11 年前
As they say start ups are a roller coaster ride.<p>All the lows are worth it for the highs, because the alternative is working n wasting ur life away at a desk job. Which after experiencing many highs sitting at that desk makes you hate it and for me I only keep jobs for a year because of my incessant need to start up. Needless to say I don&#x27;t lead the normal societal life as I have sacrificed such for my startups&#x2F;dreams.<p>But oh the lows(depression) and instability... Like today because of my startup addiction it&#x27;s time to find a new desk job.<p>This stuff is crazy HARD, but I can&#x27;t stop!
digita88将近 11 年前
For founders, it is a good idea to scope which socio-economic-environmental factors would contribute to their dissonance or depression. For me it&#x27;s the lack of face-to-face contact, being an &#x27;outlier&#x27; in so many respects, being in an environment that is not as innovative or open to entrepreneurs and so on. The list is not that encouraging but as long as the factors are known at least they are &#x27;known&#x27;. Also these factors can easily contribute to freelancers, independent workers, etc.<p>The next item to know is that there are factors that would actively contribute to depression. I used to have some really bad habits that would otherwise feed into some sort of circle of depression and these would pop up when I am triggered. These habits formed because of thought patterns that I have somewhat developed growing up. Whenever I feel the triggers, I need to make sure that I don&#x27;t engage in any of these bad habits or that if I do, I need to try and get out of that zone.<p>I&#x27;ve had my first episode when I was really young - culminated in a few sessions with a psychologist at school - so I&#x27;ve had this affliction for a while now. On top of that, I&#x27;ve been entrepreneurial since I was young so I think that the external &#x27;being a founder&#x27; is hard to separate from the biology.<p>It&#x27;s a bit of a circle for me - I get in founder phases and then when the business or idea fizzles out or when I need the cash, I get into employee phase which then culminates in me wanting to get my feet back into the entrepreneur game... and so on and so forth. At the moment I&#x27;m in that founder phase and have made commitments and arrangements so that I don&#x27;t get back into being an employee for at least January 2015.
zeeshanm将近 11 年前
Lots of interesting comments here. I&#x27;ll put some thoughts here, too... I have always thought there are two kinds of people in this world. One who do things that make other people&#x27;s life better. Others who reap benefits of things done by the former group. To me the question is about whether you want to be selfless in the service of others or live a steady life. Once you have figured out, there is no shame in failing if your goals are high and intentions are right. If you base your success based on how people perceive you that is a very wrong way to think. The only reason because public opinion tends to change very so often. So, for me at least, being successful implies reaching for a bigger goal than the self. Being principled and finding happiness in doing the right thing. Just imagine if Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Dr King, etc would have only thought for themselves what kind of a messed up world we all would have been living in? With greater goals come even greater challenges in some shape or form of &quot;failures.&quot; &quot;If There Is No Struggle, There Is No Progress”
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peachngrapes将近 11 年前
At the beginning most founders getting some kind of depression but the better founders quickly adapt to the situation and answer &#x27;some version of great&#x27; when asked how their startup is going.<p>The reason is quite simple -- successful founders are always positive because every event which happens has some positive impact in their perception, even if it might feel as a failure. Successful founders don&#x27;t use the word failure, nothing is a failure to them.<p>People who are depressed -- it doesn&#x27;t matter if those are founders or not -- tend to let external circumstances determine the mood or happyness level. Most people are happy when it&#x27;s good weather and sad if it is raining, successful people do not let something like rain influence their mood level.<p>The question is rather why the topic &#x27;depression&#x27; pops up quite often on HN.<p>My theory: I had very successful times as a founder and also -- let&#x27;s call them -- &#x27;slow&#x27; times as a founder, in particular in the beginning. When I had successful times I didn&#x27;t check HN for months a single time, when I had &#x27;slow&#x27; times, I checked HN every 30 minutes.<p>-
taylorhou将近 11 年前
for the significant others of founders - <a href="http://lifeofastartupgf.com" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;lifeofastartupgf.com</a> - being in a relationship with a founder is tough and sometimes, extremely stressful.
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joshdance将近 11 年前
Feel like I should offer this as well. If anyone feels like they need someone to talk to, send me an email (in my profile).<p>If you are in Utah, we can grab food.
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yslhall将近 11 年前
I wish I could explain what I&#x27;m going through right now, as a founder, but I legally can&#x27;t. The few people that know what I&#x27;m going through have said it&#x27;s the hardest situation they&#x27;ve heard a startup founder in, ever. I hope to one day tell my story.<p>Let&#x27;s just say, it involves dealing with somebody that developed severe mental illness, quickly.
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stefek99将近 11 年前
Recommended talk: <a href="http://businessofsoftware.org/2013/11/developers-entrepreneurs-depression-a-wonderful-talk-at-business-of-software-conference/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;businessofsoftware.org&#x2F;2013&#x2F;11&#x2F;developers-entrepreneu...</a><p>Seek specialist advice.<p>I personally try to limit success stories and get back to work :)
wellboy将近 11 年前
You might also checkout <a href="http://www.startupsanonymo.us/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.startupsanonymo.us&#x2F;</a>. Two great guys, also founders who have been there and who just listen, for free and offer some feedback.<p>Great project, way too little exposure for them though.
Sakes将近 11 年前
For me, startup depression was just something to get familiar with. I&#x27;ve been working on mine for about 3 years now, bootstrapped... on the weekends... making no money.... while supporting a family... being an involved father... but fuck it, I still believe in it and will continue working on it until I believe that the opportunity has passed.<p>The first two years consisted of my mind bouncing back and forth between dreams and depression. Now I&#x27;ve matured, at least emotionally, to where I feel emotionally invincible. I guess I just got used to it, the uncertainty, the hopes, the fears. This has become my norm, and living with it is much easier and honestly pretty effortless at this point.
yaelwrites将近 11 年前
Glad to see this being discussed.<p>Relevant: <a href="http://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.inc.com&#x2F;magazine&#x2F;201309&#x2F;jessica-bruder&#x2F;psychologi...</a>
gautambay将近 11 年前
I&#x27;ve found it super helpful to surround myself by other entrepreneurs (they &quot;get it&quot; more easily). With the best ones, we can both speak with our guards down, and be open about our vulnerabilities.<p>I don&#x27;t have data on this, but I actually believe you increase your odds of success by being open about your insecurities. Among other things, it helps you form connections that are more human.<p>If anyone in SF would like to talk through stuff, my email is in my profile. I&#x27;ve seen my share of lows, and been helped by other entrepreneurs. Would like to pass it forward.
lifeisstillgood将近 11 年前
I listened to a surprising podcast from John Lloyd (UK comedy producer deity (Spitting Image, BlackAdder etc))<p>He talked about his breakdown, about how he was fired from ten or so jobs and slowly came to a realisation that I think is worth repeating - that you can accept your life is yours, if possible live &quot;with no fear and no blame&quot;<p>I certainly don&#x27;t suggest his approach is perfect but I is interesting to see someone widely successful and respected talking about the same fears and depression pervasive within us.<p>Look for Seun Hughes &#x2F; John Lloyd on iTunes
derwiki将近 11 年前
When I went solo-fulltime on my startup, I started a Mailchimp newsletter and asked all my friends who I thought cared about the startup to join (I&#x27;m just shy of 100 subscribers now). It&#x27;s been incredibly useful for battling loneliness; every few weeks I talk about a success, a failure, or maybe just something random. It&#x27;s helped make the whole process less isolating; I always get personal replies after I send one.
lsh123将近 11 年前
Just remember that the failure of your startup&#x2F;project does not mean that you are a failure. In the last years you most likely &quot;merged&quot; yourself with your startup, you need to keep reminding yourself that your are <i>more</i> than it. You have friends, family, other ideas. You always can try again. And yes, would be happy to have coffee&#x2F;lunch&#x2F;whatever to chat (I am in the Bay Area).
daveslash将近 11 年前
In San Diego. Like Utah poster, let me know if you&#x27;d like to grab food. I haven&#x27;t been a <i>founder</i> until recently, but I&#x27;ve worked <i>as an employee</i> at three previous startups. I&#x27;m familiar with some of the feelings and would love to share my experiences if it helps others. Let me know - my twitter handle is on my HN profile.
raminassemi将近 11 年前
I thought this was a really good talk (and associated thread with it) <a href="https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4357037" rel="nofollow">https:&#x2F;&#x2F;news.ycombinator.com&#x2F;item?id=4357037</a> on entrepreneurial depression and happiness.
salman89将近 11 年前
I don&#x27;t think it is as simple as learning that you can talk about it - you have to learn who to talk about it too. Not everyone wants to hear that things are not working quite as planned - most people would rather just hear &quot;Great!&quot;
zoba将近 11 年前
The app Secret seems to be a big vent for this feeling. I regularly see people posting about their own companies and feeling overwhelmed. The replies are always supportive and typically several are along the lines of being in the same boat.
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aosmith将近 11 年前
Maybe I&#x27;m crazy but I&#x27;m a solo founder (I have a great support system of other founders) and I rarely find myself depressed. At times I&#x27;m angry at myself for decisions I&#x27;ve made but hindsight is 20:20.
XERQ将近 11 年前
I&#x27;m in Orange County running two startups with plenty of ups and downs. If you&#x27;re in the area and want to grab a coffee and talk, my contact details are in my profile.
wjessup将近 11 年前
This is also a good way to filter out who is actually your friend or who is hanging with you because &quot;you&#x27;re killing it.&quot;
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krantiveer将近 11 年前
Doing what you love is the key to happiness. This may not make you a billionaire but will certainly make you very happy. There is just too much pressure in wanting to be a billion dollar startup. If you take a VC&#x27;s money as a means to your happiness, you will end up working for the VC&#x27;s happiness and not yours.
Patrick_Devine将近 11 年前
I usually tell people it&#x27;s &quot;peaks and valleys&quot;. The peaks are really, really high, and the valleys are really, really low. But that&#x27;s the whole point, isn&#x27;t it? It&#x27;s the ride that makes everything worth it.
hello_some将近 11 年前
Maybe you just need a more engaging project?
dennisgorelik将近 11 年前
Happy people are less likely to start risky ventures.
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jonathanehrlich将近 11 年前
amen. Glad you put this out there.
sinak将近 11 年前
Great post. I wonder whether organizations like YC might consider offering compensation for seeing a therapist during and after their batch, and even perhaps going as far as recommending a particular local therapist.<p>I&#x27;ve experienced depression while running a startup, and seeing a therapist was immensely helpful. A therapist who regularly sees founders as clients would have a stronger-than-usual feedback loop on what sorts of advice and recommendations can help.<p>Edit: While I think the advice of talking to other founders about depression is really excellent for those who have that option, I think back to when I&#x27;ve experienced depression and wonder whether it would have helped. Specifically I&#x27;m not sure I was even in a state to be able to act upon that advice. Generally my sense of self-worth was so deflated that it was very difficult to discuss it with anyone, and particularly anyone who I wasn&#x27;t close friends with. Beyond my co-founders, few of my close friends were entrepreneurs.
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mkempe将近 11 年前
If you need help with depression and would rather try to figure it out yourself, consider Julian Simon&#x27;s &quot;Good Mood: The New Psychology of Overcoming Depression&quot;. Some of it didn&#x27;t make sense to me, but I know much of it has helped me and a few depressed friends.<p>[1] <a href="http://www.juliansimon.com/writings/Good_Mood/" rel="nofollow">http:&#x2F;&#x2F;www.juliansimon.com&#x2F;writings&#x2F;Good_Mood&#x2F;</a>