On Saying No - The Power of Simply Answering, "No."

The subtler point of this article is that a simple no is a good test of your authority- service personnel, students, people he had power over; they had to except his "no." Girlfriend? Not so much.<p>The power in question isn't the added power of using the word- it's the way the word reveals the power dynamics at play. He didn't gain more authority by using the word; the word revealed to him his authority and its limits.

It's a persuasive article, and I appreciate the point being made. An important part was that he thought about his decisions, and when he decided the answer was no, that's what he delivered. He didn't always say no, but when it was appropriate, he made sure he did say it.<p>The last section tied it up well, however. You have to know when to stop. You have to apply intelligence.<p>It requires thought, as well as discipline and persistence.

I think some of the article is compelling, but when he's talking about service personnel he just sounds like a jerk. A waiter who asks whether he wants fresh ground pepper is "attempting to dominate the transaction"? Taking care of you is a waiter's <i>job</i>.

"<i>But when he really did ask if he and a couple of buddies could have a few beers at my house, I just said no. No follow-up, no prevarication, no buddying up for a sympathy injection.</i>"<p>While I see the purpose of a clear 'No', in some cases, it just seems like it's rather jerkish even if said in a nice tone. How hard is it to say instead, "No, and that is final; my reason is such and such, just so that you know"? I know that I would be accepting of the latter answer, but questioning of a pure "No", since it would seem as though he was just being instantly judgemental.

Being a software engineer often means that you are in the job of fending off well-meaning, but unreasonable requests from clients on a continual basis. Learning how to say "No" repeatedly without coming across as lazy or a jerk is an extremely important skill. I read "The Power of a Positive No" by William Ury (of "Getting to Yes" fame) looking for wisdom in that area. Now, I recommend it to every engineer (and manager) that I know. If everyone read Ury's books, the world would be a much happier, smoother-running place.

A "No" could have prevented <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Columbia_disaster" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Space_Shuttle_Columbia_disaster</a>

The title get's it right. "No" is about power.<p>I prefer "yes", which is less about power and more about getting things done.<p>Interesting article. Will I ignore OP's advice and keep doing what I always have?<p>Yes.

Also, try using "fine" as a way of consenting to something rather than "yes"<p>It conveys the same certainty and closure as "no"

This is what I've always done.<p>Are there really people out there who feel the need to explain themselves to carwash attendants and waiters???