I'm 20, brilliant and totally lost

I think this article roots to the kids narcissism - just because you have an high IQ, does not mean you will become somewhat more important, more powerful or more successful than "Joe the plumber". Let me ask you this: Was Godel happy? Was Alan Turing happy? Even though they both were brilliant and had academic success, still - their personal lives was pretty much a sad state of affairs, and depression characterized their lives. Brilliance and success is not happiness. You are 20 (!) - I was around 25 before I found my academic passion, which by that gave me a inner calm. I wish you the best of luck. But to expect every piece to fall at place at the age of 20 is plain naive, actually a bit provoking. In addition to the large tasks here in life (like education and career) the small enjoyments like coffee in the morning, listening to the birds, getting a proper workout - is what keeps you smiling, or at least, it's what makes my day swell.

I honestly thought this was terrible advice. The problem this kid has is everyone has praised him seemingly since birth and so he thinks everything is simple. The mere fact that one teacher saying his dream was silly could throw his life into chaos shows he's underprepared for the world.<p>In fact, the only reason he seems to feel lost is because he doesn't stick with anything beyond the initial thrill.<p>Rather than narcissisticly wandering the world and becoming even further ingrained in this "do what's easy" philosophy I say jump into the real world. Join a startup and realize the joy of working against insurmoutable odds. Where not only do people call your dream silly but a lot of them won't even meet with you to hear you out.<p>Then he'll get enough backbone to pursue his own dreams

What good are video games? Since I also always wanted to create them (and still haven't created a great one, just small ones): for me I think they are part of a greater quest against loneliness. Sure, creating a vaccine would be nice, but loneliness is also a killer (I don't have numbers, but it is not only suicides - also older people who just die when their spouses die and so on). Maybe they are not for everyone, but games were important for me in certain stages of my life - they helped provide save havens in times of emotional turmoil, they helped to get together and connect with people, and so on.<p>Maybe games are not the best cure against loneliness, or the only one. Maybe I should have just become a therapist. On the other hand, maybe one day my game will help some other scientist over a depression and enable him to finish working on that vaccine.<p>I don't subscribe to the notion that only vaccines are "really important" - even stupid things like fashion play a part in the bigger picture. Ultimately, one has to ask what are we living for. Sure, somebody has to create those vaccines to enable us to live on, but working on the question on what to live for matters, too - otherwise, why not just die.

Dear Tired and Lost,<p>Welcome to your life. You are the latest man in a chain many thousands of years long to wake from his deep sleep and discover that he is incomplete without a purpose.<p>First, the bad news: the pain won't go away by itself. It will get worse, like a constant implosion dissolving your heart from within. During sex and danger the pain may abate - and then come back, strong as before. Be warned, though; ignored for too long, the pain can numb. Then your purpose has abandoned you, and you are lost.<p>The good news: if you find your purpose and live it, the pain will go away. As I said, you are the latest inheritor of this burden - many have walked this road before you. They have left you way markers - the world's great spiritual traditions - to help you find your path.<p>You must open yourself profoundly to the world around you. Find a teacher, meditate deeply, question incessantly. Test yourself at every opportunity. Find your true purpose, and give yourself completely. Do so, and you may be enlightened, suffused with joy at the wonders that have always surrounded you. Fail, and die an anonymous end to a vacant life.<p>Happy hunting.

This kid's real problem is [insert projection here].

Lucky you! I was 20, brilliant and totally lost. Now I'm 36...

I was above average intelligence in a school with a slightly below average age group. As a result I stood intellectually taller than my peers and breezed through.<p>I was brought up with my parents doting on me telling me I was brilliant and destined to great things.<p>As a result I was a little shit at 18.<p>It was university that brought me crashing down, gave me social skills, got me laid and focused my education. But that was only by luck (I changed course at the last minute - my original choice would have been easy as school).<p>However it never found me a purpose or passion (beyond an enjoyment of "hacking" and programming). I left university a much nicer person but just as lost.<p>Now it's only 18 months later but I have a real serious career and a passion and am doing pretty good. Again that was total luck.<p>Sounds like this guy is just getting to the "lost" section; don't worry it will figure itself out. It might take a couple of years (I know a guy who it took till about 31 to really sort out what he wanted). But the fact he is <i>asking</i> means he is on the right path.<p>Best advice I believe you can give people like that is dont think too far ahead - I still want to be a millionaire playboy at 30 with 10's of businesses behind me. But thankfully now I know that is just a dream to help drive me to whatever success I do end up with. It might well be as good as that - probably not. But hell, ill bumble along ok regardless :)<p>Or in summary: this shit generally works itself out so long as you work hard on the moment in hand.<p>EDIT: I see a few people trashing the armed forces option. I couldn't disagree more. If you make the decision in the right way and understand what your signing up too it could be a great experience. No need to worry about your ling term future for the moment :)

Cary should have saved his time and just said "join the navy". I'm not advocating military service. But if this student doesn't want to stay where he is, doesn't know what he wants to do and doesn't have the means to relocate, it's probably the most stable situation to let him think about his/her own future.<p>Just saying...<p>3 years on a boat or sub and he'll know EXACTLY what he wants to do (and will have a lot more means to act upon it).

Sounds like typical depression setting in, something he's probably unaware that he's been fighting for years. Sometimes your problems aren't new and unique (no matter how 'brilliant' you are), and it can benefit you to reach out to people whom you may not think can help you at first.

At least he recognizes he's lost now, when there's plenty of time ahead to fix it. A lot of people won't see it for another 30 years.

This article is a good in conjunction with last week's "I Was Told I Was Very Smart." <a href="http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1346357.html" rel="nofollow">http://theferrett.livejournal.com/1346357.html</a><p>An interesting trend in those labeled remarkably intelligent is a tendency toward stymied feeling of self-worth.

This happened to me (although I was not brilliant). My social awareness (or whatever you might want to call it) only developed when I started university, and it made me look at what I was studying with disgust. Having said that, I think the advice given by Salon sucks. There is no "finding yourself" this is bullshit, there is only "making yourself". You have to choose and you have to throw yourself after your choices, there is no way to think yourself into life.<p>I always liked this Baudrillard quote: "The modern ideal is to make your life what you want it to be. In reality, that is what you do when there's no other solution."

The conflation of doing well in school and brilliance is amusing.<p>Don't most people figure out the distinction in HS?

See: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quarter-life_crisis</a>

When asked them what they want to become, a number of nerdy boys I know (cousins, nephews, etc.) have answered "I want to make video games!". Knowing that it is a competitive subfield of an already-competitive IT industry, I always encouraged them to look for alternatives.<p>The guy should get a physical. He may have low thyroid, anemia, etc. The cure may be as simple as taking an iron tablet occasionally.

I think one can't say to himself he is brilliant, this is so dangerous.<p>My father tells me how much surprised it is when he sees back their school mates,now that he is retired, they expected the brilliant people in class to success.<p>This is what really happened:<p>The brilliant people(3 hipersmart guys) took a normal job and lived a normal live. People that had enormous problems in school, became presidents of big companies, made their own restaurants chains,got political power, became famous as scientific researchers...<p>Wow: Nobody would have expected that!!<p>I think those brilliant people were very good at learning and memorizing when the answer is known, but not so good facing risk and failure, fighting against unknown.<p>PS: There was a time I got 10 over 10 score in some exams like math when a lot of people didn't pass. I felt great(and superior) about being considered intelligent, but at the same I felt frightened about losing my position, so I stooped asking stupid questions (what would they think about me).<p>Later I discovered I love asking stupid questions, and I love testing new things, often it goes bad, so I felt liberated making enough grades and not being ultrasmart, but feeling this stupid man can kick some smart asses if I work hard.

Given society's strict schedule for youth, the timing of getting lost is key. Around college graduation time is a great time to get lost. Your drive has carried you through 17 years of education and you are free to find yourself at that point. Getting lost in junior high, like I did, is just bad timing. High School and college become a holding pattern in which you get lazier and lazier. Luckily it doesn't last forever.

This guy writes a weekly-ish advice column for Salon. I'm not usually an advice column reader (nor a salon one), but the dude has a way with words and interesting perspective (ex-rocker alcoholic turned writer recovering addict)

Having gone through a similar phase recently, I can relate a lot to this guy. In my case, I was just plain lazy and irresponsible. For me, sitting about and wondering about 'the purpose' was a way of justifying not working in my grad courses. How many people really do manage to find their purpose in life? I would take SamAtt's insurmountable odds and extend them to every second of life. In all the moments that you have till death, you can do so many things, sitting and moping should just feel wrong. (I wish I followed my own advice.) I don't know the guy, but I feel such thoughts arise from an easy-going and leisurely life. People growing up with uncertain futures and/or troubled circumstances/times (in the so-called Third World) seem to be much clearer about what to do. Making meaning of your life is much easier when you have a hungry family to feed back home. You can't be bothered about your 'true calling' then. I don't know which case is better for an individual's peace of mind. Being more aware of one's mortality can help, perhaps.

It would seem to me this young man has already set the gears into motion by knowing he doesn't have the answers and by making an effort to question his life. Many of the responses in here speak so matter-of-fact-ly that one person's opinion is right or wrong, but the truth is, no one knows the secrets behind what makes for a good life.<p>Life happens and it's all about how to take it in. Be it thrusting yourself into hard, difficult situations or taking it easy to learn and enjoy the subtle nuances of life. There is a particular equifinality in life where the same solution can be derived through different approaches. No one here is in the right or the wrong.<p>My personal opinion is that "getting lost" is less the solution, but rather the gentleman should "stay open," if you will. Wandering is merely one action that tends to incur openness, but it may or may not be the correct approach for any one person in particular. Learning to appreciate life is what he's learning "the hard way" currently and I would venture to say he'll experience that 'click' in his head sooner than his doomsday-ridden mind is anticipating.<p>Realizing how fortunate we all are to be here in this cultivated "world" of intellectualism--of the attitude we all have developed through our own stories similar to this boy's--discussing the merits of self-realization (who I am) the requisites of self-actualization (what I can do) is what is important here. It's quite the privilege.

I think his advice is: find facts. You can't make decisions without facts - at least, not well-informed ones. Facts about the world and facts about you. Facts that aren't written anywhere. Things you can only learn by experiencing them. Know thyself.

I find that having a quality is inversely proportional to how often you talk about it.

You need something to propel you forward. Declaring that you're brilliant after you accomplish something is sometimes fun, but feeling that you're brilliant 24/7 is like putting a brick wall in front of you.<p>People don't often realize that most experiences, and feelings, are common; but, it is the lack of skill to communicate that makes us feel lonely.<p>I say, learn to communicate well. And be around people who know how to communicate well. I think this is very important to a person's happiness. Especially people who are, indeed, above average -- perhaps even for their sanity.

"You cannot catch what you do not drop."<p>I'd never seen that before, what a great quote.

Not to be too literal, but to answer the kid's question, "What are games good for?" Raph Koster's A Theory of Fun for Game Design sets out to answer just this. Essentially his argument boils down to that games are made to teach us things, that they can be used for amusement, and that they allow us to have experiences that paintings, film, or music don't have the capacity to deliver.

"I'm learning to play the guitar, I draw, I read, I think, but I don't feel I exist.As if my biggest priority in life were enjoying it, learning to live it. But I want to do something else, man. I want to have a voice."<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohemianism" rel="nofollow">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bohemianism</a>

There's no such thing as being brilliant. You can <i>do</i> brilliant things. If you feel you have a talent that other people don't then pursue that talent. That's what 'brilliant' people do.<p>If all you have is good grades and no ambition, you're not brilliant, you're an idiot. Now start doing something about it.

Its time to say "Hello World".

The cause of this acquired imbalance, the woman. :D

my advice would have been: think harder

The 'I want to make video games' for a living is like hearing a teen girl enthusiastically brag about having great style sense and wanting to be a fashion designer or a poet because the things she writes are 'deep'(depressed with loaded words). These statements are so common it can feel disgusting. The counterstrike neckbeards of my generation would always go into CS half assed, learn java and usually not do it as a hobby. The new WOW generation are doing the same thing now. If someone wants to be a game programmer I think it's better to have a passion for programming and math first rather than a passion of games. As far as programming the internet is a better resource than any school could be. As far as game companies hiring people I think there's a better chance in getting a job if you're really great at art and creating environments. People have always been full of shit, but the only one you can blame for letting it affect you is you.

Relax, all the really painful things starts after 35 for a man afrer 25 for a woman =)

The women did it to him, I've said it before, and i'm going to say it again. If you want to be king of productivity, avoid girls.

The dude is not nearly as brilliant as he thinks he is. I've seen better.

Did that guy just complain about being able to own/drive a Ferrari?

He doesn't sound all that brilliant to me. Anyone who gives up just because someone tells them that their ambition is worthless is certainly not a true visionary. People who really are brilliant are usually knocked back many times before they have their first success.

The advice given is probably worthless. The student obviously has issues with authority, his goals being dependent on the validation of others etc yet that isn't even discussed. It's basically a generic "feeling lost is good for a while" answer, which every smart 20-year old should be able to give himself.