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How Adulthood Happens

55 点作者 chejazi将近 10 年前

12 条评论

ChuckMcM将近 10 年前
If I read that correctly there is little support for the &#x27;age&#x27; component of adulthood and a lot of support for &#x27;required to act independently without a safety net&#x27;. It might explain why people who were 16 in the 19th century were considered ready to kick out into the &quot;real&quot; world.<p>In my own experience I did a couple of internships in my high school summers which required that I live away from home, plan all my own meals, budget my expenses, manage my housing situation, and track everything required to succeed in my internship. I had some really eye opening experiences (like having my motorcycle be in the shop and catching the bus to work but getting on the wrong direction and ending at the depot far from work.) That experience helped me &quot;grow up&quot; in many ways, and it was one of the reasons when I had kids my wife and I gave them responsibility as soon as we thought they could take it, so from age 10 on for example they did all of their own laundry. At 12 they were called on to cook a meal for the family from time to time, Etc. If nothing else that helped them be more functional when they got to college.
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freditup将近 10 年前
What&#x27;s fascinating, to me, is the difference between the environment college provides and the environment post-college life provides. The contrast in the societal structure most people experience at these two points of life is fascinating. From a world of community (college) to a world of isolation (working world). I think the return of well-off young people to the cities is driven by a search for a society that feels like it has the community of college. (That was a motivation for me at the least.)
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qmalxp将近 10 年前
I&#x27;m pushing 30, have a well-paying job, and a long-term significant other, but I never plan on &quot;becoming an adult&quot; if it means religious affiliation, griping about the talking heads like my father, or giving up video games and hangovers.
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madaxe_again将近 10 年前
I honestly think more folks need a much bigger fire up their ass.<p>Taking until 30 to start doing something productive with your life and to end the party-party-party phase is, well, slow? Why spend your most productive years in the wilderness?<p>I do much of what I do from compulsion - I never had the luxury of being able to sit around and contemplate my future on someone else&#x27;s dollar - I left university heavily in debt, paying my brother&#x27;s school fees, lumbered with a mortgage on a great aunt&#x27;s house, with two parents who had gone into hiding on opposite corners of the globe, deep in denial over their divorce proceedings. I left uni with nowhere to go, no money, lots of obligations, and about a week to find myself income before my world imploded.<p>I found my first job three days after graduating - I went up to London, and went and annoyed financial services companies by literally banging on their doors and going &#x27;interview me&#x27;. Eventually someone bit, I spent 18 months there before jumping ship and starting my own thing. This isn&#x27;t some dim mythical past when jobs grew on trees, rather 2005, and most of my cohort ended up moving home with the folks because they couldn&#x27;t find jobs - because they didn&#x27;t try hard enough, because moving home with the folks <i>was an option</i>.<p>When you remove your fallbacks, all you can do is climb and hope there&#x27;s somewhere you can take a rest further up.<p>When I look at my brother (seven years younger) and myself, there is one defining difference between his upbringing and mine - there&#x27;s always been someone there to bail him out, to pick up the pieces, to solve his problems for him. Far too often that someone has been me. He&#x27;s leading his own path, finding his own way, but he <i>is</i> going to be 30 by the time he finds it.<p>Finally, part of finding the path is realising that there is no path but the one you make, and that it is its own goal.<p>There&#x27;s nothing at the end of it, enjoy the walk.
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bambax将近 10 年前
&gt; <i>86 percent agree with the statement, “I am confident that eventually I will get what I want out of life.”</i><p>Could it be because they don&#x27;t actually want much, or anything?<p>Wanting insn&#x27;t that easy. You have to be inthe kind of place that let&#x27;s you see what&#x27;s possible without letting you get it. Too far, and you don&#x27;t know what&#x27;s out there. Too close, and you already have so much that no object of desire is left for you to «want».
Pxtl将近 10 年前
Adulthood is what happens when you realize that, if you don&#x27;t do it, it&#x27;s not going to get done. Don&#x27;t know how? Learn. Physically can&#x27;t? Find a way. Nobody is going to do it for you.
chachi将近 10 年前
This article smacks of &quot;back in my day&quot;. Perhaps college students spend &quot;just over one hour per day&quot; studying alone because education has realized the benefit of group learning, interactive education and project-based classes. In the age of Wikipedia and Google the need to memorize and study in silence, as in the monastery, has decreased substantially.<p>David Brooks&#x27; longing for the day when students just shut up and listened to their teachers is patronizing and ignorant.
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serve_yay将近 10 年前
Sheesh, at least give me a heads-up before you link me to David Brooks.
heurist将近 10 年前
The important point here is learning to think for yourself. I&#x27;ve been going through that process over the past year and from my perspective as a 25 year old male, the author is spot on.
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ForHackernews将近 10 年前
Well, that was a vacuous piece of fluff. I suppose David Brooks has gotten past his youthful desire to produce meaningful work.
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dmritard96将近 10 年前
somewhat patronizing article was my reaction. &quot;They are largely unattached to religious institutions.&quot; As if to say, &#x27;one day you will realize what you are missing&#x27;. My bet is that people today, in the age bracket he is referring to may never attach themselves to science fiction as fact.<p>&#x27;Yet here is the good news. By age 30, the vast majority are through it.&#x27; and &#x27;After a youth dazzled by possibilities and the fear of missing out, they discover that committing to the few things you love is a sort of liberation.&#x27;<p>I abhor the idea that by 30 I should have to commit the rest of (likely the majority of life) to just a few things.
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EC1将近 10 年前
My families tradition is to kick the kids out at the legal age with nothing but promise of a roof and food if they need it. Grandfather grew up in poverty and is now quite rich, none of trickled to my Dad. The logic being if you have a safe place to sleep and eat, you can do whatever you set your mind to. Dad started his own business, and instead of giving him money, my Grandfather guided him and introduced him to people. Same with my father now. I left home at 16.<p>I haven&#x27;t gotten a cent from my parents and it has taught me a lot at a very young age. Meanwhile most of my friends are completely dependant and have adopted a &#x27;the man&#x2F;system is out to get you&#x27; mentality because they didn&#x27;t get their dream jobs fresh out of school.<p>How do you teach people to hustle? Cut the life line?
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